If You're Happy and you know it - Tell Me How

[beerman]

For about the last 6 years I have this perpetual feeling that I am not happy and I am missing something in life. Actually, it is a feeling that I am just existing and not really living. I am actually taking medication to help level out and not be so moody and depressed. They help some.

 

Background - I am over 40, been married for 15 years and have 12 year old twins. We live in an upper middle class home and the wife and I both have decent jobs, lots of friends and bored is not a term that enters our vocabulary. So, everything would seem to be going well.

 

Problem is, I don't think I am happy. On the flip side, I don't know what would make me happy. I guess I have a good case of the grass is greener but I am smart enough to know that, for the most part, the grass is not greener in most cases.

 

So, if you consider yourself happy, could you tell me what makes you feel that way. Thanks!

[Daligal83]

What makes me happy is knowing that I'm doing something worthwhile. Have you tried volunteering somewhere? Knowing that you are affecting others in a positive way is a great way to feel good about yourself.

[shes2smart]

As I've gotten older, I've found the challenge is to keep finding things I feel passionate about...things that I enjoy and give life that extra zing that makes it worth living. For me, a state of happiness is attained when I am actively pursuing, learning about, or actively engaging in those things that I am passionate about.

 

When I was in my 20's, my passion was radio. It was also my career choice, so that worked out pretty well. I still love what I do for a living, but it has taken a more balanced and smaller role in my life. In some senses it's my job, but it is no longer who I am...if that makes any sense.

 

Anyway, once that passion started to fade, I needed to find something else to add some "zing" to my existence.

 

I found it at a racetrack. I owned & raced harness horses for a while. Even took a part time job at the track for a season. Learning about that world was challenging and rewarding and put that extra "zing" into my life for several years.

 

Nowadays, my passions extend to learning about food, nutrition and health...my goals for 2007 include taking some cooking classes and learning how to cook like a professional chef.

 

Another recent passion is an MMORPG (Massive multi-player online role playing game) called World of Warcraft. Both my husband and I play and it's a passion we share.

 

So, what is it that interests you? What activity/activities do you take part in that make hours fly by like minutes? What have you always wanted to learn about or do but never got around to? You say you're busy and never bored...but are you really ENJOYING the things that are filling your time?

 

Finally...and this may be something you need to think about over time...if money, time, and things like other people's opinions were no object, what would do with the majority of your time? Is there a way you can move your life toward that vision OR include some of that vision in the context of your present life?

[beerman]

What makes me happy is knowing that I'm doing something worthwhile. Have you tried volunteering somewhere? Knowing that you are affecting others in a positive way is a great way to feel good about yourself.

 

When I was your age I used to volunteer as well so I know that feeling. At this point in my life I don't have time. Too many kid activities. I guess I do volunteer coach a 12 year old baseball team.

 

Thanks

[Daligal83]

i think shes2smart had some great advice...is there anything you're really passionate about?

[beerman]

You both have provided some wonderful ideas. Right now, I would have to say I am having a lot of fun with my sons baseball team. I enjoy spending time with not only my son but all the boys teaching them baseball. Other than that most tasks feel like drugery. There aren't many things that make me feel happy. Guess I need some time to really pay attention to what makes me happy and concentrate on those things.

 

As I sit here typing this response, there are things running through my mind that are probably not appropriate for this thread that may be contributing to me not feeling real great about life right now. That and the fact that I seem more depressed that normal today may not make for a great time for me to address all the details right now. Thank you both for your help. I do appreciate it!!!

[Daligal83]

Anytime beerman If you ever want to discuss those things running through your head, this forum is here for you. Hopefully you can address those things so that you can be happy.