Why Is It Hard to Get a Gf?

[iwishiknew]

Why is getting a gf so hard to get?

 

 

I am 28 yrs old, living in the suburbs of chicago and still today I haven’t had any girlfriend or any relationship and still haven’t had my first kiss. I never even had a friend that was a girl. Females don’t find any attraction in me at all or never have any interest in me or never given me a chance. I don’t know why but I wish I knew. Ever since I was in hs I never had a gf..10 years later I still don't have a gf, I have been to college and never had any success in getting any girls..

 

Since last year I have been out with a few girls only once and never been able to go out with them again. They just lost interest in me. I call them they don’t pick up or I leave a message and they don’t respond back to. That tells me that they are not interested in me so I give up on them. When I went out with them, I thought they had a good time. We had good food, talked, and laughed then after that never was able to go out with them again. I also got ditched a few times when I went out with a few girls, which really hurt. When I went out with this one girl to the movies, she was really nice and we had many things in common and I though we will have a good time. After the movie started she told me she’s going to get some popcorn and after time went by like 20 mins, I was wondering what’s taking so long? Then my phone vibrated and I got a text message saying “SORRY", I just felt sick after that. I don’t get why in life it’s so hard to get a gf? In the movie and tv shows you see guys getting girls so easy and girls smiling and approaching guys, what can’t this happen to me in my life? Why can't girls approch me?

 

I am very honest, caring, fun loving, sweet, active and very out going person; I am not lazy at all! I am in good physical shape. I can run the mile in 5 minutes and I workout everyday. I play sports; the main sport I play is ice hockey. I would think being in good shape and working out everyday and even playing hockey would at least attract one female and find me somewhat interesting but it hasn’t. I have been running and playing hockey since I was small and no females every approach me or at least say a comment to me of my progress especially if I win many big games. Or run good time in the mile run.

 

I do go out; I don’t sit in the house all day. I do go stores, book stores, restaurants and places to get food, car shows, and the park (I go there everyday). I am not a big bar person or club person at all, just never was. I do go once in awhile but not a lot. I can’t stand the smoke! It makes my eyes itchy and red. If it wasn’t for the smoke it would be so awesome. Also I am not too much into drinking but I do drink once in awhile but not a lot.

 

I have heard many people having success with online dating so I tried several online dating websites and I usually get no responses back. I got a few responses but somewhere fake profiles and a few asked a few questions and I responded back and never heard back again. Some of these dating sites my profile has been viewed over 1000 times and no responses or emails back from any females. In my opinion that’s alot of views! Now I am trying craigslist personals and okcupid, but no luck yet. I find so many females with a perfect match of interests as me, if I find a female with the same interests in me I respond and I introduce my self, I tell what I enjoy doing my interests and just simple stuff like that. And I send it with my picture and no response back. It’s so hard to believe that no females out of a thousand who viewed my profile has no interest in me at all. I don’t understand? I am also on hotornot and my rating is below average, it’s a 5.2, even on that website I can’t get any responses or doublematches. I am also on myspace and I have over 100 girls as friends and when I email them many of them don’t respond back to me. ( Possibly half of them are fake or just have no interest in me). I do get some comments but it doesn’t go further as I want to so I can at least get to know them. I have notice many times if I see a girl walking like in a store or anywhere and I try to make eye contact and smile they always never look me into the eye, they just put there head down and just walk away without looking at me, this I really have notice alot happening. I really think my problem of why I never had a gf yet is my height and looks. I have been told many times by girls why they don’t want to go out with me, many said I am to short and I have no physical attraction. I have read so many online profiles and majority of the women wants a man who’s 5’8 or taller. I have gotten a few responses from girls before saying “oh I am kinda tall” “you kinda short”, and I respond back saying you being tall doesn’t bother me at all. I know that height matters! Also a girl wants a handsome guy that she find attractive. I do have confidence in myself, I like the way I am but females don’t find any attraction or interest in me at all.

 

This who situation of me never having a gf or kissing a girl really puts an impact on me every single day that I never had any experience, having fun or a relationship with a girl. I have always wanted a gf since I was a teen. I remember when I was a teen and never having a gf didn’t bother me at all because I was still young. Today since I turned 28 in May it just hurts and I am almost 30 and sometimes I just think that I will be single forever and never be able to share my life with a female. I don’t want to think that way but the days and years are going by fast and I am getting older each year. Every single day when I wake up it’s always in my mind and doesn’t go away. Thinking about girls and having a gf being able to go out and have a good time and being able to talk everyday to each other. It’s so hard not to think about it everyday. It sometimes affects me at work by not concentrating and thinking “I can’t believe I am 28 yrs old and never had a gf or kissed a girl yet” or hearing guys talking about their girlfriends and dates etc. Or going out anywhere especially to the movies and seeing guys with their gf. I have heard so many times before “don’t look for them, they will come to you” like when? "Or you find a girl when you least expect it" Still today I never been approach by a girl.

 

Sometimes I ask myself what does it take for me to get a gf? I don’t get it at all! I am nice person who’s, caring, outgoing, fun, sweet, honest, loving, active, athletic, good physical shape, so why can’t I get a gf? The 3 important key things, which I believe why I never had a gf yet and reason why girls never find me attractive, never want to get to know me or never give me a chance and losing interest in me is. 1. Height ( I am 5’5) 2. Looks (my looks are somewhat average) 3. My voice, I have been hanged up on the phone many times before. To me what I have been through and seen many times its all based on looks and appearance, and height. The first impression a girls sees is what you look like, if shes doesn’t like the way you look you won’t get a chance, happened to me so many times. I don’t reply to super hot girls, because I know they won’t respond to me, I like pretty, average girls who enjoys the same interests as me.

 

I wish I knew the problem so I can change so I can get a gf or so that girls find me interesting. I can’t change my height, my voice or looks. I have tried different hair styles except shaving my head bald. I do dress neat a normal. I am clean all the time, I bathe everyday and brush my teeth after I eat. And I use cologne, BOD man all the time. I do go out, stores, parks, etc.

 

Is it possible that I could be single for the rest of my life? Was I born to be single forever? It seems like it to me, I don’t want think it that way, but the way things have been happening and having no gf since my teenage years and now being in my late 20’s and almost 30 yrs old and still nothing at all. It’s just a weird being 28 and never having a gf, to me I am missing a big part of my life and my manhood. I just can’t beat the odds!! I wish I can beat the odds but its so dam hard!

 

I wish I could experience what its like to have a gf and to have someone that cares about you and knowing you have someone to talk to and have a goodtime with. I would give up anything just to have a gf, I would give up my pride and joy my 90 mustang gt, which I like so much and put some much into that car.

 

Sorry for making this post so long but I want the readers to get the picture and I am looking for help, advise and any suggestions what I can do or change? If you were in my shoes, what would you do? What do you think my problem is? Why can’t I get a gf? Why don’t girls find me interesting? Why haven’t I ever been approached by a girl or even kissed a girl yet?

[heloladies21]

Dude, this is a learnable skill like any other and you can get great girls. There's just no doubt about it. Plenty of sites for you to learn from

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It's just ridiculous how much info there is out there and it's all there for you to look through and experiment with. Just remember that girls will not come up to you, it's programmed in their DNA to only hook up with guys who hit on them. So it's up to you to go up and talk to them.

[quietgrl]

iwishiknew,

 

I'm a 36 years old female,live in California and never had my first boyfriend so don't feel bad.I'm asking the same question.Why aren't men interested in me?

[CluelessGuy321]

iwishiknew,

 

I'm a 36 years old female,live in California and never had my first boyfriend so don't feel bad.I'm asking the same question.Why aren't men interested in me?

 

Can I see your picture?

 

I don't mean to suggest anything. I just can't imagine a girl who can't land a relationship easily.

[CluelessGuy321]

Buddy, I ask myself the same damn question all the time. I just don't get it!

 

And it's weird. There are guys who I thought were the most attractive looking guys around with cute girls....and then there's very handsome guys who aren't hooked up!

 

I has to be a combination of looks and technique as well as timing+luck.

[leo_s84]

I believe it's all in the attitude...looks help, but it never is the most important thing.

[quietgrl]

Can I see your picture?

 

I don't mean to suggest anything. I just can't imagine a girl who can't land a relationship easily.

 

 

I try not to post my picture online but i'm a black female with brown eyes and curly black hair.I'm not ugly so that's not an issue.Men just don't want me.

[mjctraider]

Sounds just like me. It's sad that I'm approaching 29 and never experienced it and wonder too if I was born to be single. I've tried the online thing too. I send emails and they respond back saying they are interested and I respond back and never hear from them again. I've gone out on dates, but never a second date, they seem to have a good time, but as always I end up in the dreaded "friends zone." Oh the horror. I've tried to make eye contact with females at the mall, work when I went to college and almost every single one of them looks the other way as soon as they see me looking at them, like I am some hideous freak. Yet I think I'm not that bad looking, average at best.

 

Yet I still try. I have no idea why and now I am presented with an opportunity and sadly as it is my hopes are somewhat up that I know iIm gonna be disappointed. In three days I'll be hanging out with a bunch of people at a club and the hopes are that I can get at least one phone number, even if it's a fake number. I know the odds are against me and I have a better chance of regrowing my hair naturally, but my hopes are that there will be at least one female interested enough in me to make eye contact and we can chat, even if it's just a few words exchanged. I've had so many opportunites and it never turns into anything, so while I have my hopes up a little bit I know I'll go home accomplishing nothing.

 

 

I guess I'm more likely doomed to just having female friends and nothing more. All I'd like is at least one relationship with a female, even if it doesn't last. At least I can die knowing I had a girlfriend.

[JimmerJammer]

I can really make it sound grim if I wanted to, but I won't because you're better off coming to the realization yourself. Tell yourself all you want that you can't get a girl and you're right, heck if anyone knows you the best, its you. So if you feel there's something about YOU that obviously isn't attractive, then there must be proof (i.e. the fact that you haven't had a gf or kissed one.). Now it becomes a belief and a belief now becomes projected everywhere you go REGARDLESS of you consciously trying to or not.

 

Because I'm betting this bugs you on some level, it shows that somewhere along the line you have an awareness to the fact that you don't have women in your life. This IS a choice mate and you'll understand it sooner or later. Now once you can admit to yourself that is something you are doing or not doing that is the problem, then you can go to work at it. Lets put it this way, if you're not approaching women, if you're not asking them questions, if you're not displaying interest or acting on that interest, then you're the one that is the problem. PERIOD. Don't beat yourself up over this though because, hey, a lot of us have done this sort of thing in multiple areas of our lives.

 

But there are things you can DO that will proactively get you what you want. You simply have to invision, plan, act and acquire it. Of course there are more steps that are needed to be taken, but awareness is key. Awareness of whether you're serious about persuing something or not is vital and the next step is to see how badly you are willing to get it. If you feel its too much of a burden or jump from what you're comfortable with in your life, then maybe you'll find someone out there who thinks you're their soul mate and you two will live happily ever after.

 

If you're ready to make a concerted effort to start meeting and attracting women into your life, its important to understand your role in your life and the direction you're taking. It does require some inward thinking as you need to assess your life and consider if where you are or where you're going is where you want to be. If it is then you're on the right track. You're ability to align yourself with your purpose helps maintain focus and so long as you are doing what you love to do and are seeking out your reason for being, you can take that focus and project it out into everything you do.

 

So that's the short version of where to get an idea of where things might not be where you like them in your life. I hope this helps you with your post.

[CamaroJoe]

Dude, it's all about you. This is going to be harsh, just bare with me. The message you wrote makes me think you are a wussy. People say that you shouldn't change yourself and that's BS! If you want something you have to change yourself. If you want a career, what do you do? You go to college, get a degree, hang out with different people and ultimately change your entire life.

 

why is this important? Because if you want a woman you have to change yourself to be able to talk to them. Online personals are also a dumb idea to meet women. They are, however, good for practice on what to say to them. You need to NOT CARE what the outcome is...let yourself go. Say whatever you want around the woman even if it offends her. And if it does offend her, depending on the extent of her offense, you can chose to appologize or laugh at her for getting offended. And once you get to the point where you don't care whether you meet someone or not, then that's when you meet them. It's weird.

 

Women are attracted to one thing (for the most part). And that one thing is confidence or lack of insecurity. Like I said before you can say or do whatever you want just as long as you do it with confidence. Watch the movie 'Hitch' and look how bad Will Smith messed up in that movie on his first date with Eva Mendez. And what did she say about it? "He failed miserably "but he did it with flare""...with flare dude! Flare = Confidence.

 

In other words, work on yourself first. A good thing to do is just talk to EVERY woman you see without wanting something in return. Don't ask for numbers or put yourself in a position that puts pressure on you. And you can't be asking questions "why can't i get a g/f?", "how come no girl is attracted to me?" etc....That's so unattractive. You'll scare a woman off so fast it will make ur head spin if you even show the slightest inclination that you don't believe in yourself or that hints to those questions. You need to just not care. Do what you do...

 

if you need more info, pm me, i can give you a ton of information that will help you. But I hope this reply helped some how.

[quietgrl]

hey don't turn this nice man into a jerk because Good women don't want a jerk.

[CamaroJoe]

No sweetie, it's not about being a jerk. you can display confidence without being a jerk. But what I'm saying is that most women get freaked out if the guy gets attached too fast. I'm saying just play it cool and if something happens then it happens but not to stress about it. If he worries about getting into a relationship everytime he talks to a woman, he will become stressed everytime and become figity and nervous looking. And you, being a woman, know that you can pick that up immediately and it will make you not trust the guy. He just needs to be confident and comfortable. And he needs to be a jerk sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. If he's nice all the time he'll come off as a 'nice guy' which is horrible. Those guys give into everything and never stand their ground.

 

Also, here's something i do. When i first meet someone, i say something off the wall. It sounds kinda mean but when said right, and with a sly smile, it works wonders and people, not just women, love it. For example, the other day I was sitting talking to this woman and another woman came up and was like "Can I sit with you two?" and I said "no" with a serious face. She looked at me and when she did, I cracked a sly smile and she laughed and said "Well, i'm sitting with you anyway" all sassy. lol it was funny and she knew i was just being a jerk but in a fun way. I find doing stuff like that is the easy way to break the ice and help the person get comfortable with you; show them your sense of humor.

[quietgrl]

Ok baby. I need all the good men in the world.

[asianlkp22]

I am sorry to hear that from both quietgrl and iwishiknew.......sweetie, I never had any problems to find a date at all........but for three years, I couldn't find a boyfriend myself.....but you know, i don't know what the real reason is.....but for me, humour attracts me a lot, and the fact that the guy is very outgoing and has his own mind, attacts me alot......

 

have you tried just doing something so outrageous that you wouldn't even imagined??? why don't you do that, and go out to the club, loosen up and you will get a different perspective......dont' waste your time searching, that will do you no good.....out there, there are lounges out there that do not allow smoking, and clubs too......Hey, there are girls out there that likes to go dancing and loosen up......don't be scared of that scene, i am not saying to search for your girlfriend there, but go to loosen up and liven up your life......and it will give you the push that you need to go up to a girl and keep the girl interested in the exciting things that you have done.

[iwishiknew]

For me getting dates isn't always easy to get..I am not to much into the club or bar scene...I do go out to the stores, the park, bookstore just not to much into clubs and bars..

[Momene]

I've been there and got the T-shirt but here I am 17 years into my 2nd marriage, so there's hope for you yet! What I did wrong was come over as desperate. If you're on a date focus on putting the other person at ease and don't concentrate on yourself. Also a really big turn off for most girls and many blokes (including me) is feeling that you are the nearest convenient member of the opposite sex and not someone that they would choose from the millions out there.

 

My luck changed in my 30s, so can yours.

[iwishiknew]

I hope my luck will change soon! It just seems so weird being 28, never had a gf, a relationship or even kissed a girl yet..What makes this so hard is no girl finds no interest in me or even wants to get to know me at all...

[shopyv]

I completely know how you feel. I'm tired of being alone never kissed or touched by a guy. It feels really weird but I'm glad there are people in this world like me.

[StarLily]

Maybe people think you are too good for them? I think that's what happened to me.

 

Also, I would never approach a guy. I think a guy should do it. So, maybe you can try that.

 

like CamaroJoe said, don't get too nice too fast. Act like you get girls all the time and if this one (the one who you're on a date with) is not interested, you will find someone else next week (or the next day). Keeping it cool will draw women like a magnet to you...

 

I will give you an example: This one guy was after me and he was being so damn nice and was so into me in the beginning that it freaked me out and I stopped seeing him or responding to his calls and texts...

[TheFoglifter]

Your problem, in all probability, is that they can smell the desperation. That is a HUGE turnoff.

 

I have a lot of the same thing you have going for you -- in college I had money, great social standing, and lots of "friends", but only one became a girlfriend.

 

Its the desperation, somehow you are oozing it, and thats the hole you have to plug. If they sense that you are hunting for a girlfriend, they will get freaked out and leave. Work on yourself, once you are truly complete, you will have a better shot. Act like you don't give a good god damn whether they like you or not, maybe even try being a bit more of a * * * * * as that will activate their "maybe I can tame him" genes.

[Momene]

Another idea is to move to another city or just hang out somewhere different.

[TheFoglifter]

If what I said above isn't motivation enough, also consider the fact that if you ARE too nice up front, you set a very bad precedent. The one absolute rule in any relationship (personal or business) is that the person who is less in love (or less committed to a solution) is the one who has all the power.

 

If you are too nice up front, they will test you. You'll begin to wish that you were single again, because all that spare money and time will be spent on her. After she's bilked you for a while, she'll move on to someone who is "more of a man" and she'll probably use some crap line like "you were real nice and everything, its just me"

[Momene]

But perhaps that's true in an established relationship but his challenge is to get his first date.

[TheFoglifter]

Yeah, but the better he is at setting the tone from the get-go, the less cleanup he has to do later. I've seen this happen both ways and am certain of it. I've seen people who were very firm from the beginning end up much happier later on when they both settle into respective roles. I've also seen people way too nice up front only to have worlds of trouble later trying to get more power, and usually failing.

[fredericvo]

I guuess iwishiknew n shopyv r a match made in heaven...

not kidding here why don't you give it a shot?