LADIES: How can one avoid the FRIEND ZONE?

[Roi]

What are some ways guys get trapped in the friend zone, and how could they avoid it? Guys can post too! Thanks

 

image removed

[arwen]

lol. Love the pic.

 

I don't believe in the friendzone as being a zone that excludes romance. In fact I am in the most happy relationship I have ever had and I was friends with my man for 2 years before he confessed his feelings and I realized there was more than this great friendship. Keep in mind that in addition to love and trust, a firm friendship is an important part of a relationships foundation.

 

Ilse

[TheRedQueen]

When a girl considers a guy to be nothing more than "just a friend", this means that she does not find the guy to be sexually attractive. It is as simple as that.

[Haven]

So the Friend Zone is like a giant yellow pill. Awesome.

 

One way to get "trapped in the friend zone" is by not having a backbone. As in, doing everything for her, listening to all her problems, and so on. That's not even friendship. That's just her using you, and you putting up with it because you want to ask her out someday. (By "you" I'm referring to the guys who do this. Not necessarily literally you.) I think many guys get friend-zoned because the girl decides she isn't attracted to their personality. And the lack of a backbone is pretty much universally unattractive.

[hk87]

Not technically true- I love a guy who can show me there is more to him than being macho all the time.

I think the girl either likes you or doesn't like you. Over time feelings may develop through close friendships, but not always. A lot of the time attraction and feeling is based on the first meeting of a particular person.

 

Hk87

[Batya33]

As soon as possible after you realize you are interested in dating the woman, call the woman and ask her out on a date you plan in advance. Make sure by the tone of your voice and by the nature of the plan (as well as the timing - no later than Wednesday for a weekend date) that it is clear this is a date as in "I'd like to take you to dinner and the theater Saturday night - are you free?

[holyohio]

 

 

word up to DiggityDogg

[Beec]

The friend zone is when you have been virtually neutered by a woman. When she does not see you as someone who would get naked with her and do the wild thing. Well, if you make it clear to women that you are a sexual creature, and that there is some desire to see her naked, in bed, and with you, then you will be unlikely to get friend-zoned. Your demonstrated desire to have sex with her, need never be acted on, it need never be verbally mentioned, it can just be how you look at her. If every few times you see her, she knows you are checking her out, you're not likely to be just a friend. You need to give her the idea that you have a penis and that you might, might, have some notiion that she should get familiar with it.

[Markers]

TYour demonstrated desire to have sex with her, need never be acted on, it need never be verbally mentioned, it can just be how you look at her. If every few times you see her, she knows you are checking her out, you're not likely to be just a friend.

 

 

Just a side note - this doesn't involve any drooling!

[Beec]

Just a side note - this doesn't involve any drooling!

 

No, drooling is a sign of a lack of self control. A lack of self control gets you put in something other than the friend zone, with a bunch of stalkers and other wackos. If you want to see it done right, watch some oold Jmaes Bond movies. Watch at what Bond does when he first sees one of the women he end up hooking up with. Try to adapt that way of looking at a woman to yourself and situations. But also note, you need to read her body langauge. If she sends you blow off signals, stop staring and act like you don't care.

[TheRedQueen]

The friend zone is when you have been virtually neutered by a woman. When she does not see you as someone who would get naked with her and do the wild thing. Well, if you make it clear to women that you are a sexual creature, and that there is some desire to see her naked, in bed, and with you, then you will be unlikely to get friend-zoned. Your demonstrated desire to have sex with her, need never be acted on, it need never be verbally mentioned, it can just be how you look at her. If every few times you see her, she knows you are checking her out, you're not likely to be just a friend. You need to give her the idea that you have a penis and that you might, might, have some notiion that she should get familiar with it.

Every guy I have ever "friend-zoned", was allocated there because I knew that I was not, and would never be sexually attracted or romantically interested in them, period.

 

They're cool though, so we're homies, but nothing ever more.

[Dating Coach]

 

word up to DiggityDogg

 

Thank you, you saved me the time to respond to this thread. My position is clearly stated there.

[jenny_mcs]

I "friend-zone" guys who are not showing romantic interest in me within the first few times we hang out.

 

Romantic interest could include referring to us going out as a DATE, not "getting together" or "grabbing coffee."

 

It could include acting the way a guy who wants to date you acts- picks you up for the date, opens doors, walks you to your door at the end of the night, etc.

 

It could also include touching me in small ways (touching my arm while we are talking, putting his hand on the small of my back as we enter or leave somewhere, etc.)

 

And obviously, kissing me.

 

If I am not seeing any of these signs within the first few times we spend together, I conclude that he is not interested in me in a dating type way. Or he is, but not enough to act on it.

[Nightshade]

When a girl considers a guy to be nothing more than "just a friend", this means that she does not find the guy to be sexually attractive. It is as simple as that.

 

I completely agree.

 

One way to avoid getting in my FRIEND ZONE, is to ask me out as soon as you decide that you want to date me. Just take that risk, even if you've known me for less than five minutes. Will it hurt less if I reject you months or years down the line as your friend, or if I reject you as a stranger? Personally, I found it creepy when a few of my male friends suggested dating, after I knew and saw them as my friends. My first thought was, "What the heck? Your master plan to become my boyfriend was to befriend me and do... nothing?"

[Haven]

One way to avoid getting in my FRIEND ZONE, is to ask me out as soon as you decide that you want to date me. Just take that risk, even if you've known me for less than five minutes. Will it hurt less if I reject you months or years down the line as your friend, or if I reject you as a stranger? Personally, I found it creepy when a few of my male friends suggested dating, after I knew and saw them as my friends. My first thought was, "What the heck? Your master plan to become my boyfriend was to befriend me and do... nothing?"

They should print that up and make every single male read it. It would make life so much easier.

[MrKadash]

It goes both ways. Girls could help us out tremendously if they don't beat around the bush. Don't tell us they would like to hang out and then drag their feet and not call, after a call from the guy. OK, yeah I got first hand on this, but I know it's happened to countless other guys.

[CaptainPlanet]

I have a rule, if a woman friend zones me, I never speak to her again. If I have to, I speak to her as little as possible ( work, maybe school ect). That way, I am never in a the friend zone because I am never friends with a woman who puts me there. I choose my female friends, they do not choose me. If you're a nice guy, I don't think you can avoid being friend zoned now and then - just don't put up with it.

 

 

"One way to avoid getting in my FRIEND ZONE, is to ask me out as soon as you decide that you want to date me. Just take that risk, even if you've known me for less than five minutes. Will it hurt less if I reject you months or years down the line as your friend, or if I reject you as a stranger? Personally, I found it creepy when a few of my male friends suggested dating, after I knew and saw them as my friends. My first thought was, "What the heck? Your master plan to become my boyfriend was to befriend me and do... nothing"

 

Its because at some point in time girls liked going around telling boys they should get to know her first.

[Dating Coach]

It goes both ways. Girls could help us out tremendously if they don't beat around the bush. Don't tell us they would like to hang out and then drag their feet and not call, after a call from the guy. OK, yeah I got first hand on this, but I know it's happened to countless other guys.

 

If a girl is dragging her feet to call back, then either she's very busy and has a good reason or her interest level isn't that high. If other actions from her support a low interest level then the guy needs to move on. She shouldn't have to fake a high interest level if she doesn't have one.

[CaptainPlanet]

dogg, I think the point was she shouldn't fake the interest. She should let him know she is not interested immediately. No one wants to die wondering.

[Dating Coach]

dogg, I think the point was she shouldn't fake the interest. She should let him know she is not interested immediately. No one wants to die wondering.

 

I see your point, but where I was coming from is a little different. No one should be faking anything, I agree.

 

What I was saying is that actions speak the truth, and I've noticed over the years that guys put way too much value in what a woman says in these types of situations. Women are very good nurturers and they care. They don't want to hurt feelings and because of this many times they will avoid flat out saying, "Look! I am not interested in you! Stop calling me!" instead, their actions will speak for them. thereforeeee my point was just that if she's dragging her feet in going out with a guy, then her actions are what we should be paying attention to. She's telling the truth from that angle.

 

I don't waste my time anymore on a ladies words if her actions contradict them, and this has been a very successful mindset for me.

[MrKadash]

You guys should have seen this girl........ someone give me a magic wand

[Brawnee]

If you feel you are getting friend zoned, just make sure to ask another girl out, and let the one you're interested in know... better yet- let her see you with her. Look at her face and you'll know how she truly feels. This has worked like a charm for me in the past.

[Nightshade]

Its because at some point in time girls liked going around telling boys they should get to know her first.

 

Well, I probably couldn't prove it, but I suspect that it was merely their polite way of rejecting the boys they did not like. When I am attracted to a guy, and the opportunity comes up to go out together as a couple, I will go for it. If I want to get to know the guy better, that is why I will go out on dates with him. After all, why wait and befriend the guy to get to know him better, when at any moment, another girl may come along and snatch him away? Then again, I may only speak for myself, and not the entire female population.

[charley]

Twice in my life I've heard this same thing. Both times young ladies I knew told me that they were originally interested in possibly dating me, but I did nothing beyond being friendly and acting as a friend.

 

They said that if a guy doesn't ask them out within one week of meeting her, or within 3 times of talking to her, she moves him to the friend category.

 

I don't know if this applies to other women or not. But for those two gals, that's how they saw things.

[Roi]

that makes a lot of sense, in that cause is it right to say that of a women/girl talks to you on the phone/IM, then there could have been a chance?