Women Pick The Man For Long Term Relat. 100% True!

[Oh Life]

the woman chooses the man. it will never last if the woman does not have her heart set on the guy she picks to be with long term.

[Day_Walker]

I can say that I do not agree. It goes both ways for a relationship to last, male and female have to sign off on it. There has to be an agreement by both parties to stay together.

[RayKay]

I would suggest it "never lasts" if the man does not have his heart set on the woman either....

 

There are times I have been dumped even if I had MY heart very set on them, and they just didn't.

 

Relationships are about mutual commitment and compatibility, and that requires BOTH persons involved being dedicated to being there.

[Beec]

I think that it's simply not true. I know of guys who are hot for women and begin to date them, even though the women are luke warm, and then the roles reverse.

 

Normally a man firsts approaches a woman, but usually this only works when she has given him signals that say his attention is welcome. In most other circumstances, the relationship does not get to date one. But who should be into the other more, that's not calcuable.

[Dako]

It takes two to commit.

If one pulls back, it's over.

[Baby Carrot]

NOTHING is 100% true. Nothing.

[gattsuga]

are u saying you don't 'choose' the woman you're with? relationships take two people in order to be fullfilling.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Agree with the others (how many times do I type that? lol). It HAS to be a two-way process, it doesn't matter if you're in it forever if the other person isn't.

[heloladies21]

it will never last if the woman does not have her heart set on the guy she picks to be with long term.

Very true! This is at the core of what keeps the chick from dumping the guy. Most break ups happen when the chick finally decides that the guy is not a serious long term partner anymore and withdraws her heart.

 

 

the woman chooses the man.

100% false. This is a very passive view and is simply not the case for aggressive guys who are willing to go out and get what they want. And if you know how to communicate with the chick (which is a learnable skill), you can get a chick who's not even interested in you at the beginning to decide that you're the one for her.

 

You, as a guy, have the control (not controling and there's a big difference) on how the interaction goes.

[Kevin T]

The man may choose the woman, but the woman does determine whether the relationship lasts or not. (Or maybe they both do; it's a joint-partnership, yes?)

[gnabna]

If this were the case then all of the ladies on here would be telling stories of how they picked out the perfect man for them and since she loves him with her entire heart they will most assuredly live happily ever after... sighs....

 

i too agree that it takes two sold out partners to have a successful, long term tango...

[KileOriginal]

The woman's decision is paramount.

 

Now I'm going to say why in the most sexest manner.

 

For a woman to really love a guy, for a love based on respect and not pity, she has to look up to him.

 

A man doesn't need that in a woman.

 

The woman will only be with the man that she is able to look up to and love. A guy does need to want the woman in his life and love her for the relationship to really work, but nothing is going to happen if the woman does not love and look up to the guy.

 

You can lie to yourselves all day, and try to convince yourselves that its really egalitarian, but its not. Period.

 

The woman chooses the guy, the guy allows to be chosen. The guy may have to persue the woman in order to get her to persue him, but unless he can get her to bite, there is a no go. (getting a guy to bite is totally different and almost not worth mentioning.)

 

I think there have even been studies done on this subject that show long term relationships tend to come down to the woman feeling like she chose the best guy for her.

 

Just deal with it.

[RayKay]

The funny thing about studies is, the "results" are based on what one was seeking to find. You can also find studies that state a "man gets married when he is ready (as in the right stage in life) to get married, and he gets married to the one he is with when he gets to that stage". I don't find that very credible either as how do you know he did not get to that 'stage' as the relationship was right - chicken and egg scenario.

 

At the same time as "nothing will happen" if a woman does not love the guy, I don't know why it is so hard to see nothing will happen if the guy does not love the girl either and does not want to be with, and choose to be with the woman. Last time I checked, men also break it off with woman whom love and respect them!

 

Saying that "the woman chooses the guy, and the guy allows to be chosen" is extremely simplistic, and can easily be reversed.

 

Of course in the long term, women will end up staying with someone they feel is RIGHT for them, but I would suggest too that does not mean they have not felt that before ever. I would also suggest that it does not matter how great she feels if he is not equally receptive to that. Many of my friends are married, or getting married - male and female alike - and among those in many cases the guy said he just knew she was the right one for him.

 

I would also say that for a man to really love a woman, there is more to it then her loving him, and he has his own standards and needs.

 

Love and relationships are not generalizations - people are individuals and look for different things; I would say respect is mutual, but that the decision is not solely in the hearts of the women.

 

It does not matter how set one's heart is on someone if the other does not share a similar state of mind/heart.

[Oh Life]

Kile Original has put it nicely. An extension of my original comments are what he has written above.

[gattsuga]

hey.. what are guys then? mindless blobs of flesh that do whatever women say? we have minds of our own, and we choose which partner we want as well lol

[Dako]

Some women choose a woman.

I would, if I were a woman, because men are nowhere near as attractive.

[Kevin T]

Some women choose a woman.

I would, if I were a woman, because men are nowhere near as attractive.

 

lol

 

Well said, Dako.

 

If I were a girl, I'd date other girls.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'm ragingly bisexual (70% or so for women!). I completely agree. But the boyfriend does for the time being

[ajaxajax]

You know, I wish I could agree with you on this one. I still think about a lady who appeared to like me even though she had two bfs at separate times. I know that she probably still likes me now, but is still hanging out with the other guy (and that's what counts, right? - if there was nothing wrong with me, she'd dump him in 2 secs, huh?). I just can't help but think sometimes that once a woman stays with a particular guy, you'd tend to think that she would be so deeply in love with him, she'd say yes if he popped the big question tomorrow.

[bikjj]

It's an interesting link. I thought it was a equal union to be in a relationship. Professor Winston did a documentary about relationships etc. He found that women tend to choose a mate based on long term factors. One experiment Prof. Winston did was to see how many females would openly sleep with a guy when asked. 5 out of 5 females said no to a one night stand. When a girl asked 5 guys for a one night stand 5 out of 5 guys said yes. The reason being girls always choose a mate who had long term and commited characteristics. This is because of our primitive instincts.

 

Prof Winston also found that women were instinctly more likely to cheat when ovulating . Also, we instinctly go for partners with a strong immune system - we naturally pick up certain scent. Finally, females seem to judge a guy on physical appeareance as to assess who would produce the best or strongest/healthy offspring.