this2willpa55 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 after 3 weeks of NC, i did something i really regret. i text him a stupid smiley. what was i expecting to get in return? how is he supposed to respond to that?? definitely not a phone call telling me he wants me back. i was doing so well. now i feel really disgusted with myself. does this count as breaking NC? Link to comment
DN Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Yes but don't let it worry you. Just resume NC and you will be fine. If he responds just let it go or, if his response really requires an answer, just make it short and to the point and then go NC again. Link to comment
ebsmith1 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I just sent you a private message. I broke it today too, but I haven't even been able to keep it up for any length of time. I'm going to send this man screaming into the streets! Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 i think everyone has done it... I notice that when people talk about doing strict NC they then add but except that time we saw each other at our friends birthday or brief chatting on msn.. its not stupid... everyone has one it! Link to comment
this2willpa55 Posted October 23, 2006 Author Share Posted October 23, 2006 i think everyone has done it... I notice that when people talk about doing strict NC they then add but except that time we saw each other at our friends birthday or brief chatting on msn.. its not stupid... everyone has one it! i know, but now the problem is if i don't get a response, i will feel horrible. this is why NC should not be broken. we set ourselves up for more pain. it's been 2 hours since i sent it. this is the first and last time. Link to comment
laboheme Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 *hug* I know how that feels...I caved in too and talked to him over AIM. But as long as we pick ourselves up and go back to NC mode, we'll get better and better...And even if we cave in again, it will be easier next time...I hope... Link to comment
Hope75 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Try not to beat yourself up too much about it, girl. We all do things in moments of weakness that we regret later but we are only human and you are hurting, and with the anniversary just gone by you were thinking of him- it happens! Just let it go, forgive yourself and keep on plugging. Link to comment
chasen54 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 I am on the verge of breakin it... just received a Myspace message from her... and now she wants me to add her to her buddy list again... OH NO! But after reading this... you all are right... breaking NC only brings pain and stress... its been 4 weeks... trying to hold strong... keepin' busy... thats the best remedy..=) Link to comment
this2willpa55 Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 I am on the verge of breakin it... just received a Myspace message from her... and now she wants me to add her to her buddy list again... OH NO! But after reading this... you all are right... breaking NC only brings pain and stress... its been 4 weeks... trying to hold strong... keepin' busy... thats the best remedy..=) i hate hate hate myspace. i need to find a way to block that site from my pc. Link to comment
chasen54 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Ahh but if you fight it then you are giving in... its a true test of self control=) Link to comment
bella321 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 You are so right... The reason that NC shouldn't be broken is because you feel like crap when you don't get a response! I IMed my ex last week with "You Busy?" to relay a message from a mutual friend to him. He called me a split second later and I relayed the message and tried to get off the phone but he kept talking. It was the most awkward conversation and I told him I was buying a new car... and he was like "why don't you just learn to drive stick and you can drive your dad's car?" So anyway, we got off the phone and I made the decision a few days later to learn and texted him that I took his advice. No response and it made me feel even worse. And I broke up with him too! At least you only sent a smiley face. It's a hard thing to respond to because it can be interpreted so many ways... Good luck with your NC! Link to comment
this2willpa55 Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 this man broke up with me, lied about the reason, found out he was cheating on me. he has not tried to contact (it has been one month), and i send him a smiley. All, please do not break NC. it will eat you up inside. i was doing so well, i have not gotten a response to my silly little smiley and now i feel horrible. it is not worth it. BELIEVE ME Link to comment
kath123 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 willpa55, what were you thinking when you sent the smiley, were you very down or what? I nearly broke nc yesterday too,but the advice from this place stopped me. Im so glad today and feel so much stronger,i know this feeling wont last though and am waiting for the next rollercoaster ride,but at least ive had a slight reprieve for not caving in. Next time your close to breaking ,post here before you do it !! you know you'll be okay one day (hope its sooner than later for both our sakes)xx Link to comment
this2willpa55 Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 willpa55, what were you thinking when you sent the smiley, were you very down or what? I nearly broke nc yesterday too,but the advice from this place stopped me. Im so glad today and feel so much stronger,i know this feeling wont last though and am waiting for the next rollercoaster ride,but at least ive had a slight reprieve for not caving in. Next time your close to breaking ,post here before you do it !! you know you'll be okay one day (hope its sooner than later for both our sakes)xx to put it bluntly, when i am pmsing, i am on an emotional rollercoaster. i do things without thinking. this is when i am most vulnerable. i am totally aware of it, but i still react to whatever thought enters my brain. i figured i would get some sort of reaction if i sent him a nonthreating smiley. i also thought maybe he thinks i am upset and a smiley will let him know that i'm ok. this man cheated on me and lied. i should be very very angry. for some reason, i cannot let him go. i wish and hope that this new relationship won't last, and he will come back to me. these thoughts are impeding my healing process. i am angry at myself when i should be angry at him. i usually do come here before i do anything but for some weird reason, i had to make contact yesterday. it was eating away at me. Link to comment
kath123 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 yes i know all too well what your doing to yourself,im exactly the same EXACTLY. Its torture and i know i can not accept what is happening in my life,and worse still i have no control over it either. Im sorry i cant give you advice on this one,but i can let you know you are certainly not going through this alone. Im not even addmitting to my friends and family how i want him back, i suppose the all think im angry at him,and thereforeeee would never take him back But at the moment they are wrong! I hope and pray that i will in time realise he's a no good sob but im nowhere near that place yet. Link to comment
this2willpa55 Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 yes i know all too well what your doing to yourself,im exactly the same EXACTLY. Its torture and i know i can not accept what is happening in my life,and worse still i have no control over it either. Im sorry i cant give you advice on this one,but i can let you know you are certainly not going through this alone. Im not even addmitting to my friends and family how i want him back, i suppose the all think im angry at him,and thereforeeee would never take him back But at the moment they are wrong! I hope and pray that i will in time realise he's a no good sob but im nowhere near that place yet. you at least had enough strength to not send the letter. you are stronger than you admit. how long has it been since the breakup? Link to comment
kath123 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 its been four weeks tomorrow,i'm stronger today because i didnt send the letter. But the fact remains i still desperately want to send it. I want to know if he's hurting if he misses "us" at all, Thats all iwant to know at the moment, whether i feel strong or weak, i just want to know. Maybe one day i will know, but not today. Does that make any sense? Link to comment
this2willpa55 Posted October 25, 2006 Author Share Posted October 25, 2006 its been four weeks tomorrow,i'm stronger today because i didnt send the letter. But the fact remains i still desperately want to send it. I want to know if he's hurting if he misses "us" at all, Thats all iwant to know at the moment, whether i feel strong or weak, i just want to know. Maybe one day i will know, but not today. Does that make any sense? i want to know that as well, but i know in my heart that he is not. he is with a much younger, attractive woman. the fact that she is in another state probably makes the chase more exciting. i'm not saying that i'm not a great catch, because i know that i am, but she has something that he thinks he needs. once the excitement wears off, they will have absolutely nothing in common. anyway, GOOD NEWS. because i am a text messaging novice, i failed to put the area code before i sent the text. HE DIDN'T EVEN GET IT. you don't know how great i feel about this. someone is really looking out for me. 4 weeks NC and counting. Link to comment
kath123 Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 good for you babes. i really hope you can stay positive, i can feel myself on a downward spiral again today,but im trying to stay focussed. im planning on taking a trip with the kids from mon-fri next week but i know that means i cant visit this place, i hope that doesnt make me break n/c !! Link to comment
Derailed Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 this man cheated on me and lied. i should be very very angry. for some reason, i cannot let him go. i wish and hope that this new relationship won't last, and he will come back to me. We are both on the same nutty page. My ex didn't technically cheat on me, but had someone 'lined up' and have probably been developing some sort of relationship in the weeks prior to the break up. I'm glad to hear by some strange luck your NC was not broken. I guess all we can do is to keep to our NC promise. But I am really, REALLY starting to waver. Link to comment
chick_hell Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 i guess nc is da toughest part..but once u have done it...it would be lotsa easier..n it really works..bcoz im in dat process as well...gosh its painful but its wort it after a while...its a bcoz of dis website..love u guys lots Link to comment
sandyv Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Yeah this is the one place I come that actually stops me from breaking NC, sad but I see others mistakes and it kinda helps me from wavering......... Thnx to everyone for being so supportive, it really helps! Link to comment
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