Once you get their phone #, when do you call?

[ArchToronto]

When is the right time to call a girl once you have asked for her phone number? The same day, the next day or next week, or whenever you feel like it? During the day or at night?

Lastly how do you break the ice when she picks up and what do you talk about?

[Scout]

You're going to get different opinions on this. For me, I appreciate a call within the next day or two.

 

One way to avoid this problem in the future, is to actually ask for a date and then get the phone number. For example, "Would you be up for going out this Friday?" (And let's say it's a Tuesday). If she says yes, then you get her number and tell her you'll call on Thursday to say hi and confirm. If she says, "I'm not sure, here's my number, give me a call and I'll let you know," say "Great, I'll call you Wednesday to see if you're available." (You don't need to be waiting yourself until the last minute to find out!)

 

Is this helpful?

[Shudder]

one thing i've learned is to call either the same night or the next night. dont leave it too long without calling otherwise she'll forget who you are

[rocio]

Whenever you feel like it. Don't follow rules. They are boring. Call between 6-9pm since she could be working during the day, and could go to sleep later in the evening.

 

But calling too soon could intimidate her and waiting too long could make her think you're not really interested.

 

You don't have to carry a long conversation if you're not comfortable with it. Tell her that you were attracted to... (her smile, something she said or did...) and that you'd like to see her again. You could ask general stuff, like what part of town she lives in (so you can arrange a meeting place that's not out of her way). But don't ask her too many questions. Save that for the date.

 

Good luck

[Scout]

Tell her that you were attracted to... (her smile, something she said or did...) and that you'd like to see her again.

 

Not to nitpick, but do you think it might freak her out a bit for someone to tell her, "I'm attracted to you" on the first phone call? I do like the idea of complimenting something she said, something about her, though. And definitely like that he should ask her out while he's got her on the phone (if he didn't before).

[rocio]

Not to nitpick, but do you think it might freak her out a bit for someone to tell her, "I'm attracted to you" on the first phone call? I do like the idea of complimenting something she said, something about her, though. And definitely like that he should ask her out while he's got her on the phone (if he didn't before).

 

Um, why would you call someone if you're not attracted to her?

 

It's already implied when you dial the number.

[chai714]

When is the right time to call a girl once you have asked for her phone number? The same day, the next day or next week, or whenever you feel like it? During the day or at night?

Lastly how do you break the ice when she picks up and what do you talk about?

 

Give it a few days at least. Call when she's most likely to answer - if you know her approximate work hours (day or night) then call when you think she's off. If no answer, leave a message which indicates who you are and your phone number in case she doesn't have caller id.

 

What do you talk about? You talk about where you're going to meet up for a date. Keep it light and funny, and keep it short.

[Scout]

Um, why would you call someone if you're not attracted to her?

 

It's already implied when you dial the number.

 

Well, that's true, it's implied, so why must you state it? I don't know, picture yourself calling a guy for the first time and announcing to him, "I'm attracted to you."

 

Could you do that?? Be honest!!!

[Scout]

Give it a few days at least.

 

Chai, why do you suggest a few days at least? Especially when the females so far are advocating that we like a call sooner than that? Don't you believe us?

[rocio]

Well, that's true, it's implied, so why must you state it? I don't know, picture yourself calling a guy for the first time and announcing to him, "I'm attracted to you."

 

Could you do that?? Be honest!!!

 

I dunno. I get that all the time, but maybe it's just cause i'm so radiant.

 

(cheeky smile)

[chai714]

Chai, why do you suggest a few days at least? Especially when the females so far are advocating that we like a call sooner than that? Don't you believe us?

 

Because it's effective. I stick with what works.

 

Of course I believe you Scout. To each their own.

[xmrth]

I would say, never after the 2nd day since you've gotten their number! it's perfect if you're not sure to do it the 2nd day after because it's not too soon, but it's as late as you can wait before it's like "And you are...?"

[Honey Pumpkin]

Call sooner rather than later! I'm with Scout on this one. I hate it when I think someone is making me wait - I go off someone. It smacks of game playing. I like a call within 2 days, but maybe that's just me (actually, I think it's all women, you know!)

[chai714]

When you call her isn't vital, unless it's too early. Unless you wait a few weeks or a month, you're safe.

[Scout]

Unless you wait a few weeks or a month, you're safe.

 

Hmmm...if I don't hear from someone after four days, I'm pretty sure his interest level isn't that high. And because I typically like people who like me, my enthusiasm at this point is going to be pretty low, too. What's more, someone else a little more timely might have called by then. See ya, Mr. Took Too Long To Call!

[chai714]

Hmmm...if I don't hear from someone after four days, I'm pretty sure his interest level isn't that high. And because I typically like people who like me, my enthusiasm at this point is going to be pretty low, too. What's more, someone else a little more timely might have called by then. See ya, Mr. Took Too Long To Call!

 

So if his interest level was high, he would call the same night or next morning, and you would like that?

 

I would highly doubt that.

[atraceofblood]

shouldn't this depend on how comfortable you two are? I guess if you barely met than a lot of what you all said might make sense. I don't really know.

[Scout]

So if his interest level was high, he would call the same night or next morning, and you would like that?

 

I would highly doubt that.

 

If my interest level was also high, yes, I would be delighted that it appeared his interest level was high, as well. And I doubt I'd be giving my phone number out to someone I wasn't interested in.

[rocio]

When is the right time to call a girl once you have asked for her phone number? The same day, the next day or next week, or whenever you feel like it? During the day or at night?

Lastly how do you break the ice when she picks up and what do you talk about?

 

Did you call her yet? What happened?

[ArchToronto]

Its a girl I've just met for about a month in one of my classes at school. Every tuesday and thursday I see her and talk to her for a while then once class is done we ride the subway together.

 

For the first 2 or 3 weeks and I've always wanted to ask for her # even on the first day but I figure that might look desperate and too fast so i waited. Second and third week went by and I'm still figuring out how to ask her # to make it look not so obvious i was into her. I guess the reason why I'm scared to ask was because it seems she wasn't that interested in me either, who knows.

 

Finally last week I figure, i dun care im just gonna go for it so before we went home I asked her if I could get her number so maybe we can get together sometimes. The surrounding was kinda noisy and she didn't hear what I asked and she thought I asked something else but in the end she gave me her # (i dunno if she wanted to or she just did it for the sake of it). She didn't asked for mine and so I didnt offer.

 

Anyways I called her the next day but no answer. Then at night she called me back wondering who called her and I said it was me then she said sorry she was a work. I told her the reason I called was cause i was wondering if she wanted to hang out tonight but now its pretty late so guess not anymore. She then said she's getting ready to go out now, so i guess she already had plans. Then we hung up.

 

I'm going to see her tomorrow and I'm going to try to ask her to go for lunch after class or go out somewhere this weekend.

[Survictor]

She doesn't sound that receptive, I'm afraid. Just ask her to join you for a coffee in the canteen or something at first. You have a cellphone number, try texting little jokes instead and see if she responds to that.

[rocio]

You never know. She could be playing hard to get.

 

Good luck!

[Scout]

She doesn't sound that receptive, I'm afraid. Just ask her to join you for a coffee in the canteen or something at first. You have a cellphone number, try texting little jokes instead and see if she responds to that.

 

How did you come to this conclusion? Just because she couldn't see him the night he called doesn't mean she's not interested. The fact she gave him her number in the first place says a lot!

[ArchToronto]

Update:

 

After a few tries, i've decided I'm not going to try so hard...I'm not saying im throwing in the towel, im just going with the flow and not try to bother with this so much cause I have a feeling she's not that interested and also everything is so confusing right now. What are my reasons its because

 

1) Well as you probably read, I've tried to asked her out to lunch numerous times and she was busy and I don't know if she really is or not.

2) We added each other on MSN messenger and when she logged on, I was always the first to msg her and she takes a while to reply and when i jokingly asked her about it she said she was talkin to her other friends or on the phone or doing homework or something.

I have a friend that does this too so I guess its not out of the ordinary but then if you were interested in someone, wouldn't your chat with them be the top priority, i know for me it is...who knows maybe she is a slow typer or she's multitasking so many things at once.

 

Anyways last week after class, i didn't bother asking her to lunch anymore because as I said im not gonna try so hard anymore, so i was just nonchalant. She then asked me what i'm doing now and I said, i have no more classes im just heading home now and i asked her "what about you?'

She told me she has a class now but shes gonna skip it and go study for her midterm with some ppl at the library cause she's way behind. I asked her what time and she said in an hour even though her friends are already at the library. When I heard that I was wondering to myself, is she waiting for me to ask her to lunch again, but then I figure nah im not gonna bother cause obviously she knows im into her and shouldn't she be the one asking now cause I tried many times before and if I try again what if Im wrong then i look annoying always asking. So then I told her "oh why don't you just go meet your friends now instead of going later", then that was it and I went home

 

Then this week, I was late for class because of traffic so I came in and saw her but didn't bother to sit in the same spot near her cause I didn't wanna bother the people on the outside aisle so I sat a few rows down. I dunno if she saw me or not but most likely she did.

After class I went to my other class and then went home. Driving home I got a called from her and I was surprised to say the least. She asked me where I am and I told her and she asked if I wanted to go for lunch. But unfortunately I told her I couldn't cause I have to do something right now.

That call made my day but it confused the hell out of me too cause its so weird. Afterwards I tried to not make any out of it cause I don't wanna get my hopes up because as I said before shes very confusing.

 

Another side note: on msn, sometimes next to her name, she has "I miss my zawa bear", I thought maybe it was a pet name/nickname for her bf so one time during a convo, i pretended to ask her about it and she said it's her dog. That still seems weird to me because what does zawa BEAR have to do with a dog, so Im not sure if she does have a bf and shes lieing to me to pull me along or what. But then why would she? I dunno like I said everything is confusing.

 

 

So right now I'm just going with the flow, I don't message her on msn anymore and she doesnt msg me either (like usual)

 

When I tell some of my friends, girls and guys about this girl, some tell me what I'm doing is fine and some said I shouldnt give up so easily, especially that day when she said she was gonna go study in an hour, I should've asked her to lunch. But I dunno I think the former makes more sense than the latter.

 

Thanks for reading, I know it was long, but i wanted to give all the details lol

[Scout]

Why didn't you go to lunch when she called and asked? You said you were on your way home, so it didn't sound as if you had anything planned instead, but maybe you did. Just curious.