Dating Tactics....

[Lady Bugg]

Ren Woman opened a thread earlier today about why dating is such a "game"....the replies have been interesting.

 

So I thought I would start another thread...asking what dating tactics

work, and what doesn't work for you? What would make you NOT ask for a second date? What would make you WANT one?? Since everyones taste is SO varied, and cultures are different I thought this would be fun.

 

For me: I would NOT want a second date if:

He made more eye contact with his food than with me

He talked incesssantly about his ex..religion or anything

for that matter.

 

He made NO effort to look nice. Ie, dirty clothes, scruffy. Afterall

I would make the effort to look good.

 

Tightwad. Expecting ME to pay for his meal. Paying with food stamps

or coupons. (No I am not a gold digger, but come on!!)

 

NO sense of humor..or overly serious.

Tries to get "lucky' on the first date.

He's rude or picky with wait staff or anyone else

 

I would consider a 2nd date: If there is chemistry (NO brainer)

He makes me laugh....

Talks positively about ex'es (If it comes up)

He LISTENS attentively

Asks ME questions about myself

Brings flowers I'm a sucker.....

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'm never seeing anyone again who

 

(may be SLIGHTLY controversial, but all honest and based on experience)

 

a) is more than slightly overweight

b) doesn't know who Kant or Marx are

c) chews gum incessantly

d) kisses wetly

e) has a best girl friend

f) regards women as commodities

g) holds views that at all appear racist

h) calls me "weird"

i) fiddles with salt cellars etc on the table (thats MY domain)

j) can't pronounce his "t's" and uses poor grammar as a matter of course

[keefy1972]

Nice subject LB..

 

What would make me NOT want a second date if:

 

a). She insisted on jumping my bones on the first.

b). Called me within 12 hours of the date ending.

c). Insisted that I call her "hot momma"

d). Picked her nose, farted, or belched in front of me

e). Continuously rambled on about her ex and how he never spends quality time with their kids.

f). Said she hated the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

g). She didn't make much effort to doll herself up

i). She didn't allow me to lead her to the dinner table, pull out her chair for her, and open the doors for her.

AND FINALLY....

j). she gets drunk on the first date.

[rose2summer]

What would you do if your date asks to split the bill 50/50, but ordered a far more expensive meal than you? Would you give them a 2nd date?

[keefy1972]

Well I would. Sure. If she was worth taking out the first time then I think it's a given. I get the question though, there are a lot of misers out there.

[rose2summer]

How about woman on here:

 

What would you do if your date asks to split the bill 50/50, but ordered a far more expensive meal than you? Would you give them a 2nd date?

[keefy1972]

Plus, I would feel fine by that since I always go in expecting to pay the whole bill. Her paying half, regardless of what she ordered, would be fine.

[Lady Bugg]

Rose.....I would be put off if a guy asked me out THEN asked me to split the bill...uhhhhhhhhhhhhh can you say..STINGY???? So ..NO I probably would NOT go out with him again!!!

[Markers]

if it appeared that she has been a man at some point of her life... then I wouldn't go to second date.

[ImThatGirl]

Taking from other topics on the forum.

 

1) If he told me he was married or in the midst of divorce.

2) If he started crying during our first date.

3) If he told me his ex girlfriend was pregnant "during the first date."

 

~~~~ Wouldn't it be nice if people just filled out a dating resume, an honest one? ~~~~

[Batya33]

My deal breakers and close to deal breakers include:

 

bad manners (including rudeness to waitstaff)

not asking anything about me

bad posture

not respecting my physical space (leaning over the cafe table in my face, etc)

not well groomed/clean/decently dressed

conversation is pulling teeth

he answers his cell phone more than once during the date without a good excuse/explanation

 

I will go on a second date if

 

I see at least the potential for a spark down the road and

The conversation is at least comfortable.

[ImThatGirl]

Another dealbreaker for me:

 

~ If he makes any attempt to discuss sex. ~

 

Unacceptable during first date.

[rocio]

Another dealbreaker for me:

 

~ If he makes any attempt to discuss sex. ~

 

Unacceptable during first date.

 

Definitly.

 

I've never had a guy not pay for me on a date, so if it happened, I might be a bit taken aback. I'd probably wonder whether it was a romantic date or just a friendly think.

 

I don't like those people that talk about themselves alot, but seem bored when you talk. But I would still go out with them. I'd just keep ordering martinis until he became interesting!!!

[Batya33]

Another dealbreaker for me:

 

~ If he makes any attempt to discuss sex. ~

 

Unacceptable during first date.

 

Yes I forgot that one! And it reminds me of a story. A newly separated friend, late 40s ventured out into the dating world. She had a first date with an older man. He asked her nothing about her except kept bringing up s_x which she had no interest in whatsoever. At the end of the evening he tried to get her back to his place and she said no. Then he asked (I guess hoping there would be a next time) "So, are you a screamer?"

 

I guess they don't really ever grow up, do they ;-)