my boyfriend went to a rub and tug before we hooked up is it ok?

[sexyshorty1485]

ok so last night me and my boyfriend were talking and he ended up telling me that 2-3 years ago he went to a rub and tug 3 times. i'm kind of upset over the situation because i feel like he should have never told me....its not like i asked him. am i over reacting?

[Beec]

He was pretty much being an idiot to tell you.

 

The real question here is how does this affect how you feel about him. Is this a deal breaker? Or is his telling you the deal breaker? Or, can you adjust to knowing. Take your time, don't be in a rush to make decisions.

[New_Horizons]

I dunno, the whole 'ignorance is bliss' thing doesn't make sense to me. Are you really over-reacting to the fact he told you (which I doubt) or to the fact that he did it?

[BornToResist]

What's a "rub and tug"?

[SherriLi]

Hi there,

 

lol "ignorance is bliss"

 

May i ask what a run-and-tug is?

[4thelast1]

Im with you SherriLi ,

What is a rub and tug????

[shikashika]

getting a hand job!

 

was this before you were dating? if so.. why is it an issue?

 

if it was while you were dating. yes, it is a problem...but not if it was before

[Juliana]

Eh, who cares. Ask him why he told you....maybe he's fantasizing, or something; wants you to play along...

[SquareWheel]

I've never heard it called a run and tug, but I'm pretty sure the poster is referring to one of those massage parlors or spas where guys get a massage followed by masturbation or something more. Some people call the service a massage with a happy ending.

[rikka]

If it happened before the two of you were together, I don't see why it is a big deal. Perhaps finding out why he told you is the thing to do.

 

IMHO, in relationships ignorance is not bliss.

[suresuresure]

Doesn't it come down to your values? Is it more that you don't want to know his past, that you don't want to be with a guy who's received a happy ending, or that you're totally cool with the idea and feel guilty that it doesn't bother you? Or is it some combination of those? You really haven't given us enough information to offer you any useful advice.

[AwdreeHpburn]

do you also not want to know if he was breast fed before he met you? Or would that be ok to tell you? Should he not tell you if he's ever masterbated before or is that not something you want to know?

 

I mean, you know he was alive and did stuff before he met you, right? You just don't want to know what those things were?

[Rabican]

whats a rub and tug? you mean one of those shady massage parlors?

 

Id consider that cheating if you were together at the time... if you werent together... that wouldnt really bother me but thats just me.

[shikashika]

ok, now I see in your post that it was before you hooked up...

 

 

let it go... its just a hand job... and it was BEFORE YOU MET!!!...

[Lovely8466]

Was this some kind of "rub and tug" party or something? wow.. pretty strange.. but yeah, like some of the other posts.. it's no biggy, it was before you met and i'm sure it's what he does to himself all the time..

[New_Horizons]

Well, I don't know...if I had a girlfriend and I found out she had had the equivalent of a rub and tug, I wouldn't feel comfortable being with her anymore. I mean, there's an imbalance in experience. I haven't had one but she has...it's not compatible. I'm sure if the OP had had such an experience, she wouldn't fnd her boyfriend's rub n tug an issue anymore.

[suresuresure]

haha, probably true.

 

I don't know how I'd feel if my girlfriend told me she had the female equivalent of that...still there is something of a societal double standard in that regard, for better or worse. A girl who goes to massage parlors to "get her rocks off" is probably somewhat odd (not to say guys who do aren't, I don't know any guys who admit to doing this), since if she's just after physical pleasure it's likely quite a bit easier to find a willing party than it is for the average guy to do the same.

 

This is assuming she's somewhat attractive and not a social retard.

 

P.S. I still giggle when I read "rub and tug," I never heard it referred to that way. Is that British slang or something?

[BlueFire]

If this was something he did before the two of got together he is fair and open with you, wants you to know what he did in his past and how you think about that and how that makes you feel. Being open in a relation and being honest is a good thing [only if it happens before u2 started dating] In that case see it as an good omen, he wants to be open with you, not big deal.