chasen54 Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Well, its been 5 weeks since the break up... 4 years of relationship down the tubes. Of course the last year wasn't even worth calling a relationship. Anways, here is my dilema. I recently found out that my ex has now officially gone on the rebound and found a new guy to latch on to. The kicker is this isn't just a guy she is dating... this is a full fledged relationship. I called BS at first... but after thinking I was ready to talk to her again after NC for 2 weeks, I asked her how things were with life,the new bf, and other things. Well I received an email which pretty much would make the most level headed of people blow the roof off. She writes me "Things are great, me and [boyfriend] are doing well. He is the greatest guy and I think I am falling4him. The new car I bought, well I haven't paid a dime for gas, he won't let me. I just got back from a weekend with him and I absoluteley love his parents and family." blah blah blah Well after this, I decided since I felt like absolute dog-crap that it was time to initiate NC again. Do you guys think she is playing the jealous game here? I have been talking to quite a few girls on my Myspace... and this could be her reaction to it... i don't know... I am in dire straits here... I took her off my Myspace for this reason so I could quit checkin up on it... what do you all think! HELP! Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 "Things are great, me and [boyfriend] are doing well. He is the greatest guy and I think I am falling4him. The new car I bought, well I haven't paid a dime for gas, he won't let me. I just got back from a weekend with him and I absoluteley love his parents and family." blah blah blah HELP! From the jist of this email that she sent you, it sounds as though she is trying to make you jealous AND/OR that she is extremely immature by telling you all this information. I don't know how anyone can go from a break-up to a full-fledged relationship in 5 weeks. A rebound, yes...but a relationship--no way. Stay strong and do the no contact thing. hosswhispra Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Too many games of cat and mouse coming from both sides here and that only works to complicate things and will only lead to your pain in the end. Keping in touch with her in the hopes that she'll change her mind and come back to you will not work. This method has been thoroughly tested and failed. You need to let her know the truth, that you only want to be in a relationship and no kind of friendships compromise will do. If she's not on board, then it's time for NC as there would be nothing left to be said. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Well, either she is trying to make you jealous or she is one of the most insensitive people ever. Rebounds never work, Ok well, rarely. And of course everything looks good at the beginning of a relationship. Ha! He pays for her gas, she she's impressed by that? That's an ominous sign of a doomed relationship. Go to NC pal, be cool and move on. If she wants back then she'll contact you. Link to comment
chasen54 Posted October 10, 2006 Author Share Posted October 10, 2006 WOW... thanks for the replies... KEEP EM COMING... I need this... this site is great therapy=) Its really kinda sad. I am feeling bad for her, but at the same time after that email yesterday I am like Eff off... that was a really messed up and immature move on her part. As for her being impressed by him buying her gas... i'd assumes so, b/c she wrote it in the email. It actually reminds me of the first two years of OUR relationship. Except, she went full in right from the start(with this new guy), it took me 4 months to actually get on the side that she actually fell for me. She has a fairly insensitive side, but I don't think that was her intention, b/c I was asking her about this stuff... so I set myself up for it. So she is officially off my friends on Myspace... so no more checking up=) Our relationship has been doomed for over a year now... I was trying to makes something that slipped into semi-friendship/comfort into something more... just wasn't happening... Oh and I am stoked... just shaved off my mustache... NO MORE FACE COVER... FIRST STEP TOWARDS MOVING ON! Link to comment
chai714 Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Chasen, Stay away from her. She's rubbing salt in the wound and it does not benefit you to keep up with her life. Cut contact, put away all of the photos you have of her, and take personal note of how much this event injured your self-esteem. I know hearing things like this do not feel good. Do not punish yourself anymore. Who cares if she has a boyfriend who pays for her gas? Be glad it's not you, gas is expensive these days. He's a sucker trying to buy her, so let him be. Meanwhile, work on yourself and improving yourself. You can do this through getting your butt in good physical condition, getting your head right by doing things to improve your self-esteem and get your confidence back, and spending time with people who really matter in your life - family and friends. Good luck and keep your head up. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Chasen - I don't see this as an attempt to make you jealous....at all, frankly. I see it as a means to hurt you. NO one is THAT insensitve accidentally. That was intentional mean and cruel-ness. I say be happy she's someone else's problem. We'll stay here for you while you move on..... Link to comment
LostAngel Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Hi chasen Don't even try to read into her e-mail. Delete it for your own sanity. Nothing you do or say can change this at this point. I to found out my ex is with someone new (Within a month that he broke it off with me after nearly 10 years spend with me). And the way I found out was that a family member of mine bumped into them together & my ex greeted this family member like all cool & in his element & still kept holding the new girls hand. So I know the feeling. I managed to keep NC though & it has now been 2 months & 11 days. I agree with Clementine "Everything is always good in the beginning". Keep up your NC & be the best you can be. You are worth alot more than this. Once the honeymoon phase wears off...she'll be feeling down & alone & maybe even realise what she's lost. But you, you will be getting on & moving up and have realised you are worth so much more. PM me if you wanna chat. LostAngel Link to comment
chasen54 Posted October 10, 2006 Author Share Posted October 10, 2006 You know what you are all right. She was there to intentionally maime me... I know her and you are ALL right. As for deleting her email... that was the first thing I did after I read it. Luckily I have a brother who is there to support me and push me in the right direction to confidence and getting out there and having a good time. Thanks a ton LostAngel for the supportive comments=) I will keep up my NC and damnit I WILL do it right this time.... I am done with that crazy girl I called my gf.... she continues to stab and stab... and I take it. The sad thing is, she wsa always the "dominant" one in the relationship... and I see she is doing it again.... to a new guy... she took my balls away damnit... I am getting them back! ARGHH...hehe And Ta Ree Saw... she is officially someone elses problem... b/c I just stopped caring about the girl... totally insensitive and out of line on her part.... OH AND ONE MORE THING... she is finding that this new guy fills the need of areas I had no interest in... like working under a car... and other things she believed a "guy" should just do.... so maybe its better for her...hah Link to comment
kuwakodono Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 I had something similar happen to me this weekend. My ex moved back to her home country about 2 months ago after 5 months together. I talked to her only briefly after she had gone back, and a few days ago she emailed me to tell me she got back together with her ex (the one before me). Needless to say it didn't make me feel great, although on the plus side, it makes it mush easier for me to ignore her now. Link to comment
Chibby33 Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 You want to make her jealous? Go fill up your car with high quality gas and pay for it yourself. That's right, you paid for your own gas. And might as well pay for mine. Kidding, just making light of the shallow comment she made. Is that all it takes to make her happy? Im sorry my friend but once the holidays set in, gas prices are going to rise and well, there goes her Mr. Wonderful. Link to comment
zer0effect Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 no contact, no contact, avoid her at all times. put her out of your life and move on best you can. there is a nin song called only, basically the chorus is "there is no you, there is only me". because there is only you. Link to comment
chasen54 Posted October 11, 2006 Author Share Posted October 11, 2006 You want to make her jealous? Go fill up your car with high quality gas and pay for it yourself. That's right, you paid for your own gas. And might as well pay for mine. Kidding, just making light of the shallow comment she made. Is that all it takes to make her happy? Im sorry my friend but once the holidays set in, gas prices are going to rise and well, there goes her Mr. Wonderful. HAHA yah totally... this guy is a bit more financially stable then I am... and thus I guess women smell confidence and .... well... finances...not all tho... but many do. I really didn't think she was this way... but my thoughts of her changed nearly overnight... but its amazing this break up is making me more confident then EVER... truly amazing... and I thank her for pissing me off now and ending it with the email .... total closure! Link to comment
LostAngel Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 Hi chasen Hope you are doing okay. You do sound alot better today, I know this is hard & it is going to be tough to get through. But just try to be as strong as you can & if you feel sad & break down, just let your feelings flow. Just like I have been going through, at times you will feel strong & confident but yet there will be moments where you will feel low & sad. Just try to stay positive & when you feel completely down come here & chat or try to keep busy & be around people who lift you up. You just gotta keep focus on You. It will be 3 months on the 26th since he broke it off with me & I can say that it has been really tough. Even though he has broken up with me times before, this time has been the worst and has actually made me realise I am worth alot more than he thinks. And not just worth walking away from. Stay strong LostAngel Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now