Cancer --- Fears ---

[southerngirl]

My mother found out she had breast cancer when she was 32 or so... I think... between 31-33..

 

Anyways I was a young girl. I remember watching her in the hospital and being told mommy was sick.

 

She fought it, she kept fighting it. It kept coming back in new places in her body. Finally after a close to 20 year fight she lost the battle. She was 51 years old and on Aug 25th 2004 she died.

 

I grew up watching her fight cancer.

 

I am deathly afraid that this will be my fate.

 

I have never had a mammogram. I turn 29 in november and am pregnant with my 3rd child. By all rights I should have been getting checked out years ago.

 

I live in fear though. If I see a doctor and am found to have cancer then I would have to face it.

 

I also have a spot on my face that is discolored. Its a reddish spot that I noticed 2 years ago. It shows up in every picture I take, but it can be covered with makeup. I have never had it looked at. Im afraid that its cancerous but without checking one can never tell.

 

I felt I would confess that to all of you.

[MewSkitty]

No one in my family since my birth had faced cancer, but my gandpa died of lung cancer 13 years before my birth. I am deathly afraid of any form of cancer. I see it as a death centains to me. Every mole on my body I worry it it could give me cancer. Every freckle I worry if it's skin cancer, I live in a fear that no one can cure.

[annie24]

I think you should head to the doctor and get it checked out. chances are that it is nothing, just a birthmark or sunspot, but may as well be certain.

 

and if it makes you feel better, having children at an early age decreases your risk of breast cancer.

[Beyondthesea]

You know sweetie, the best way to prevent cancer is screening. If you go and get checked out often, even if you do eventually have cancer

 

1. They will have detailed records of your health

2. They will have test results to compare to

3. You have a MUCH higher chance of being cured because they will catch it early.

 

Go for your peace of mind if nothing else. There's nothing wrong with making sure you are healthy to calm your fears.

 

Much love, hugs and blessings...

[vandgsmom]

I have soooo many odd spots on mr that have been checked and were nothing, but I still have to go and get them checked every time I find another one... It is what you do for your own peace of mind.

 

 

I am adopted, and after Tori was born I began to worry over my own failing health because I wanted to make sure that I was going to stick around for the kiddos.... I got genetic testing, I got a mammogram, and I got proactive.

 

You can do this, you will be fine. Make the appointment, even if you are pregnant, do it before this baby is born to take it off your mind.....

[avman]

I know you are afraid, but ignoring the problem will not make it go away nor will it make it less likely you will end up having cancer. Early detection and early treatment is the key. You've already taken the first step and that is confessing your fear.

 

We're here to help you face it.

 

If she doesn't see this, I recommend you PM RayKay. She's been through a very similar situation and I know she can share some words of wisdom.

[n83]

That is a completely legitimate fear.. but honey you have to get checked out because NOT doing so could make it worse if you do have it. Obviously you know that but you don't want to wish you had done something about it sooner. PLEASE get a mammogram and have that skin discoloration checked out, just to be on the safe side. Your kids need their mommy to be healthy for them!!

[southerngirl]

Thank you for the responses. I know you are all right. I just wish I could bring myself to take that step.

[Tigris]

Go and see your doctor and explain about your Mother and that you've never had a mammogram. Also ask him to look at the spot.

 

It's better to be safe than sorry.

 

Good luck and take care.

[vandgsmom]

You CAN bring yourself to take that step.

 

We have all read your posts and I know I am not the only one here who has seen in you a strong woman and a good mother.

 

You CAN do this, and deep down you know that you will. It is a scary thing, it is the moment before you pull the sticker out where you dread the pain even though your rational mind knows it will only be fleeting...

 

You know you will feel better once you take the step, you know that the step is inevitable, what you need to do is make yourself do it because NOW is the time to take care of this....

 

We all love you and will be here to support you through process. I know you will make the right decision, you just have to convince yourself of that too...

[RayKay]

Southern,

 

Sorry I am so late in answering this, but I do hope you will see it.

 

I too have a family very touched by breast cancer. My grandmother first found her lump at around 42, and died 10 years later, my other grandmother also died of it, and so did both grandmothers on my mum's side. Last December my mother was diagnosed too, at age 48, with Stage 3 lobular cancer. This despite being very vigilant and healthy....it was missed on three mammograms before it was found because it was a very rare form. She has had since then 12 rounds of chemo, a double mastectomy, radiation, tamoxifen...but you know, there is still so much hope. Treatment has come a long way, but the spirit even in fighting it shows how life is not just about not being "sick" - it is about attitude. You can have a full life regardless.

 

I know very well that fear, my entire life it has been "there", and a lot of how I live is with that knowing "you never know where life will go next" - it is why I make sure to do things NOW, to always love NOW, to chase my dreams NOW. I exercise and eat healthy with passion to take care. I check my breasts regularly, and go for my regular doctor visits and found one whom is very educated and aware on breast cancer and will listen if I have ANY concerns no matter if they seem foolish.

 

You need to get tested, and look at the best options for it. Mammograms are not the best for younger breast tissue as it is more dense so lumps can be missed, but if you have a very high risk, they may choose to do ultrasounds, etc.

 

Also, remember, that just because your mother has it it does NOT guarantee you will....most women whom get breast cancer DON'T have the genetic risk of it. Because of my repeated lineage, doctors believe there is something going on in my family (such as a BRCA1 or 2 gene) but testing takes a while. I am just saying that there could be OTHER reasons your mother got it young, that may or may not affect you - though that does not mean you should not take precautions.

 

All I can say is that be careful, vigilant, empower yourself when it comes to your health - not just breast health, but your entire physical and mental health. But don't live in fear of it. Volunteering to be involved in things like the RUn for the Cure, or going with my mum to treatments, have really taken away that "fear" and replaced it with great hope and knowing that if I do have to go through it, *I* can do it, and regardless of the end result, I will be loved fully, and still live my best.

[gnabna]

Hiya Southerngirl! I agree with all of the others that mustering the courage to just do it (make an apt) is really best just to be healthy for those precious kids of yours! You can do it!!!

 

I also wanted to encourage you about the red spot you spoke of on your face. My son had some red spots that freaked me out years ago on his face and still has them. I took him to the pediatrician right away and turns out they are noncancerous and harmlesss. They are called Cherry Hemangioma and it sounds to me like that is what has developed on your face. Now I am no doc of course and still want you to go see the dermatologist as well as get your mammogram after baby arrives, but I thought that might help ease your worries that it may be somehting as simple as that. Here is a link so you can read a little about it. link removed

 

Also, since you are seeing the OB/GYN regularly with your pregnancy these are all things you can talk with her/him about. In fact mine always did breast examines so you should be comforted that no lumps have been found by her/him.

 

Take care of yourself, I can tell you are loved by many including your family that needs you!

[itsallgrand]

You will feel much better once you go and know. The fear is 'what if' and a million worse case scenarios running through your head. And memories, too.

 

Cancer is in my family, unfortunately taking many lives. Right as I type this: a family member is battling cancer and recovering from treatments.

 

I don't mean to be insensitive, but what you are doing is ridiculous and indulgent. Listen, what if you do indeed have cancer? And all this time you are refusing to go to the doctor and getting sicker and sicker for nothing! You don't want to put your family through that - and you are a mom. You have a responsibility to face this head on.

 

I myself had cervical cancer. It was treated and I have been fine since. I had no idea - I felt no different, I didnt' feel sick, and it took me by surprise. Who knows if I had waited years to see a doctor or not at all what would have happened.

Many cancers can be treated if detected early. We have advanced so much from even the 1980's!!!

 

The 'C' word has become like a swear word and it seems that the fear is paralyzing otherwise intelligent people from taking action.

 

You can do it, and I bet you are totally fine. Imagine the relief you will have once you find out, and you won't have to worry 'what if i get sick and my kids have to go through what i did'.

 

Let us know when your appointment for the doc is.

[Tigris]

Southerngirl how are you doing?

[Juliana]

Prophylactic mastectomy.

 

There. I said it. Having your breasts removed reduces your risk of getting breast cancer down to 3 per cent.

 

I watched my grandmother die of breast cancer. I've had two kids, breastfed both, don't smoke, and was tested for the gene (don't have it). But when I get obsessed about cancer, that's what I say to myself: Prophylactic mastectomy.

 

And then I can get some sleep.

[southerngirl]

Im doing okay, I still havent made any appointments. I have given alot of thought to it though. I think that after this baby is born I will be doing that.

 

I also have alot of moles and such, and havent ever been to a dermatologist. It would make me feel better to hear that everything was fine.

 

Prophylactic mastectomy.

[coollady1957]

Southerngirl, have you decided on going to the doctor yet? I can certainly understand your fear of going ahead with that next step to see the doctor. However you fear getting some form of cancer, so I urge you to go ahead with getting it checked out. Best be safe than sorry that you didn't go sooner.

[Tigris]

When is your baby due?

[Beyondthesea]

You know what? Knowing nothing is wrong is the best feeling in the world southerngirl. Go and get that feeling!

 

I went for an ultrasound a few weeks ago because I have recurrent UTI's. I found out that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I'm just prone to have them. Hearing the tech tell me I was fine has calmed me to no end.

 

Definitely go and talk to your doctor!