Asked the EX about meeting up and she responded, need some advice! (Scout if u can)

[annie24]

what if she has an interview with someone one day and they see she got an A+ in beatles? the interviewer, let's say, is a huge beatles fan. if they ask her a question about the meaning of some songs, or something that someone who really knew a lot about the beatles would know, and she looks completely dumbstruck, they will know right away that something is up with her and the transcript.

 

my godfather owns his own business and interviews people. He's told me many stories of people who he has found out, through the course of the interview, that lied about classes they took or favorite hobbies, just by asking a few simple questions. those people do not get the job.

 

yeah, I think on SO many different levels, you "helping" her out isn't.

[Big D]

Like I said, I totally understand what you are saying and I will admit you make a lot of very good points about all of this that I hadn't thought about before. To be fair, there is a lot more involved in the class that she has and is doing on her own. We've been in school since Aug and I have yet to help her with anything. She wrote to me asking for help, so I agreed to help her with it. I really do appreciate your persistence on this, because like I said, I honestly didn't even think of some of the points you were making. I applaud your persistence on the problems with this, it shows a lot of character

 

 

I hope that Redqueen, friscodj, and Crazyaboutdogs were able to see the messages I left for them on page 2

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yes, I did see your response. It sounds like you are keeping a level head and looking at things realistically. I hope it all works out for you, but even if it doesn't, you will get through this.

 

I've gotten into the best shape of my life, lost 20 pounds and toned up, gotten a nice tan, and have truly been able to accept my faults within the relationship and learned to do new things and become a more well rounded person. So it will be exciting to show her what she's missing out on when I've become a sexy young stud and I'm out doing things she's always wished we had do

 

I just needed to comment on what you wrote above (which I have bolded). I see this a lot on these boards. Couple breaks up, the dumpee suddenly decides to work out, lose weight and look like a stud or bombshell....always with the comment of how their ex will now see them as a new sexy being. It makes me sad whenever I read this because working out and losing weight should be done for oneself, not to show the dumper the "new improved" body. Also, the dumper should want you for who you are, mind and soul, not for the new, improved sexy body.

[Big D]

I just needed to comment on what you wrote above (which I have bolded). I see this a lot on these boards. Couple breaks up, the dumpee suddenly decides to work out, lose weight and look like a stud or bombshell....always with the comment of how their ex will now see them as a new sexy being. It makes me sad whenever I read this because working out and losing weight should be done for oneself, not to show the dumper the "new improved" body. Also, the dumper should want you for who you are, mind and soul, not for the new, improved sexy body.

 

Oh no, don't get me wrong.... I'm doing it for myself. Up until a week ago, I hadn't even thought I'd see her again for many many months. The reality of the situation is that it took the breakup to throw me back into reality. I never really thought I was in that bad of shape while we were together, but like 99% of "post breakup advice" articles state, "get to the gym!" which is what I did. I've become the "new me" per say on my own will to get more healthy and all that jazz, not in the hopes my ex would notice me and want me back. its just an added bonus to show her what she lost, lol

[friscodj]

There is nothing wrong with being friends, best friends whatever, as long as BOTH parties can handle it. The issue is the original poster's emotions and whether or not HE can handle being "just friends" as opposed to girlfriend/boyfriend. If all romantic feelings are gone on BOTH sides, sure it is easy to be friends or best friends. However, if one person feels romantic longings, being "just friends" can be very difficult and painful. I don't think the original poster had any intention of deliberately hurting her although I think it would be best to leave out the part in bold below

 

Abso-freaking-lutely...

[friscodj]

Thanks for the props D. I have been on both sides of this situation you describe more than once and my heart goes out to you and this woman. I have been in her place before, been confused before and I know how it feels. Here are some thoughts:

 

1) Do you really want the basis of your relationship (romantic relationship or otherwise) to be based on her fear? Fear of not having you in her life? Does this sound healthy to you? Because it sounds very, very sick to me...

 

2) She has a history of bailing on you, "not knowing", being confused. What sound basis do you have that leads you to believe things will be any different now or in the future? What makes you think this established cycle will change besides the hope you have in your heart?

 

3) Like I (and Crazyaboutdogs said very eloquently) said before, being friends is a beautiful thing if feelings are on the right page! I have been in relationships before (3 actually where this applies) and tried to "just be friends" after it ended from both sides of being the one to end things or being on the other end of it. It took me a while, but it became very clear that one or both people involved were kidding themselves thinking we were "true friends" without residual feelings, ulterior motives, or this "X factor" of unexplicable "weirdness". We were "mature" about this which turned out equating to masking feelings, "dealing" with them like this, and having interest in "how things looked" to other people and to ourselves, ultimately doing ourselves the insult of injustice by kidding ourselves like this. Finally the rubber band snapped, we had a falling out based on these feelings and associated frustration building, distance was taken, and now (after about 2 years of being truly "away") we are very close friends with no weirdness at all. I treasure these friendships in my life D, these true friendships. This is your Holy Grail my friend and the path to this is distance and time. I am convinced of this. Absolutely.

 

And taking this distance will allow her to deal with her fears of "losing" you. Perhaps after she deals with this, you two will have a healthy basis for whatever relationship lies ahead...

 

You see, the notion of "being friends" is not an issue of a choice to acquire a tangible, albeit abstract, "thing". You can go to a store, see a tangible item you want, hand over your money, and the item is yours, you own it, as you saw it. In this abstract notion of friendship, the very existence of the friendship and the nature of such is based on synergy between the two people involved! This synergy is very much rooted in feelings and the balance and level and type of reciprocation of such. You have a lot of feelings for this woman, there is a lot of history between you two. There sounds to be an imbalance here, which tells me there will be an imbalance in the friendship as well. You'll be able to fake it for a while but this imbalance will tear you apart. And while you can do whatever you like with your tangible item you own, this synergy is out of your control which in turn makes the nature of the friendship out of your control as well.

 

The notion of "making distance" and "walking away" is stigmatized as being "mean", "cold hearted", "cowardly", etc. If you choose to look at the situation at face-value, on the zeroth level of understanding, it is. If you look deeper, think a few steps ahead, with the intention of gaining clarity in a situation and equalization of feelings...it is the best thing you could ever do...

 

4) You have some questions to answer here, you want to see what the passing of time has done for her feelings, and that is my basis for suggesting you go find out the answers for yourself. I think it will take more than one meeting to do this for reasons I described above. Expecting a confused person to come through and provide you with surety in a verbal answer is dangerously hopeful. Don't discount the weight of her actions in this situation and your better judgement asde from your feelings!

 

Your multiple "maybes" above lead me to believe you are living in the world of "what if". And that world is located somewhere between the illusion of heaven and the reality of hell.

 

And you are still kidding yourself because you think you have a clear head here. You don't. That is obvious. Like I said before, sitting at your computer and saying what you say is faaaaaaar different than looking her in the eye, sharing a smile with her, being in the presense of her beauty, etc.

 

So want an answer here? Go get it. In the process you will learn so much. I would consider this meeting with her a start to this process. If it is the entire process, consider yourself lucky, but I have the hunch the result of this meeting will lead to more confusion and/or exacerbate the existing confusion. Like I said, you are expecting a confused person to give you a sure answer. I think the answer will come from within yourself...in time...

[Big D]

2) She has a history of bailing on you, "not knowing", being confused. What sound basis do you have that leads you to believe things will be any different now or in the future? What makes you think this established cycle will change besides the hope you have in your heart?

Hey man... that was a hell of a post and it really gave me some good stuff to think about, no doubt I will be reading it over many times in the next few days. As far as this issue. You are right, she does have a history of getting confused on her feelings. It's one of those things were from 16-20 she was always with me and never going longer than 2 weeks of being away from me. I think there was the part of her that wanted longer than 2 weeks, but was afraid to take it in fear of what it would lead to. And yes, I know 4 months isn't that long of a time considering we were together for 4 years. But for us, 4 months of not talking or seeing each other after it being a daily activity has been quite some time. I guess I'm hoping 4 months was enough time to get more of a clear head, though it could come bite me in the butt, haha

 

 

4) You have some questions to answer here, you want to see what the passing of time has done for her feelings, and that is my basis for suggesting you go find out the answers for yourself. I think it will take more than one meeting to do this for reasons I described above. Expecting a confused person to come through and provide you with surety in a verbal answer is dangerously hopeful. Don't discount the weight of her actions in this situation and your better judgement asde from your feelings!

 

Your multiple "maybes" above lead me to believe you are living in the world of "what if". And that world is located somewhere between the illusion of heaven and the reality of hell.

 

And you are still kidding yourself because you think you have a clear head here. You don't. That is obvious. Like I said before, sitting at your computer and saying what you say is faaaaaaar different than looking her in the eye, sharing a smile with her, being in the presense of her beauty, etc.

 

So want an answer here? Go get it. In the process you will learn so much. I would consider this meeting with her a start to this process. If it is the entire process, consider yourself lucky, but I have the hunch the result of this meeting will lead to more confusion and/or exacerbate the existing confusion. Like I said, you are expecting a confused person to give you a sure answer. I think the answer will come from within yourself...in time...

 

You read me well my friend. VERY well, lol. Part of the reason I want to meet up with her and face this fear is because I'm tired of living in the world of "maybe" "what if" and "who knows".... it's been a very draining 4 months, with the thought of another 4 months or so without having an idea of what's going on to eat at my soul. On top of that, I know very well that how I feel and what I say to you and those on the board will get a sick punch in the mouth when I'm around her. I know all I can do is stay positive and keep my emotions in check when I'm with her, because the last thing I want to do is leave a negative image in her head or evoke some type of guilt or pity. That doesn't help anyone or make anyone feel better.

 

When in search for the answer, I know that meeting up once for lunch isn't going to lead to the start of a new found relationship. Nor do I think it will be the total end to our relationships as friends or others. I am pretty freaking sure that while I'm able to tell you that I'll be ok, seeing her will affect me. In the same way, I am pretty freaking sure that seeing me will affect her, no matter what kind of act she tries to put up. Even if she was the one that dumped me, being her first love and having a 4 year history will make her emotions hit her. And if there are residual feelings within her, I'm sure seeing me will bring them out and confuse her even more.

 

All I'm hoping for is an ability to meet up with her, have a good time, and create a positive experience on both ends. It it leads to us being comfortable meeting again and seeing what happens, that would be great. But in the same token, I know I have to put my head and heart first. If I see her and it hurts me too much, especially depending on what kind of vibe and what not I get from her, then I'm sure there won't be another meet up for a long long time.

 

 

 

 

As sad as it is, I went to Mexico this weekend to get away from it all and relax my mind at the beach, yet I spent a good chunk of time thinking about her and day dreaming about a meeting 2 weeks from now. Oh well](*,)

[friscodj]

Well, sounds like you are approaching this about as well as you can I think. You've certainly got a lot to think about here and seem quite capable to figure it out.

 

The bottom line is you need an answer, an honest answer not tainted by her fears of losing you, feelings of pity for you, or the rush of seeing you and sharing a glimpse of the good times again stirring up the residual feelings and subsequent confusion. It going to be tough sorting through all this but I think you're on your way to doing so.

 

You also said you had a hunch she wanted more time away but didn't take it because of this fear. This is huge, don't forget this...and listen to whatever whispered this to you in your upcoming situations with her as well...

[Big D]

So a friend of mine was at a party on Saturday night when my ex showed up. The weird thing about it is they have never talked outside of a time she was with me when I was around him and she hasn't seen him in well over a year. He's also the first person she's talked to since we split 4 months ago that isn't our mutual friend Heather. Keep in mind, it had been like the day before that I had asked her about lunch and what not. Anyway, this is what went down (it's our IM convo)

 

Him this is how it went down... she approached me and asked if i had talked to you lately, i said yeah we actually had lunch today

Him oh really? how is he doing... does he have a girl friend, how does he look

Him: i was like, uh hes good... i said not that i know of to the girl thing, and "he looks good, been workin out and stuff"

Him: and she mentioned pictures on myspace or something

Him i said stuff like, well how long has it been? she said like 4 months and then mentioned going to lunch and i said thats good, cause if you wait too long you might let the friendship slip away, she said she didnt want that to happen

ME: So... basically... she feels nothing more of me then just a "friend" I should assume…Though I don't understand why she would ask me about whether or not I had a GF and how I looked?

Him: not necessarily... but i think the biggest reason shes been waiting is cause she knows how you feel (im assuming myspace, cause you spilled a lot in there)... she didnt say that she wanted to get back together, didnt say that she didnt want to... but i think her knowing how hard it has been for you might have made her a bit more reluctant to talk right away

Him cause it seemed like she was liking the "freedom" a bit, which i can understand, just being able to go out with friends (girls) and not having to go out with and worry about the bf all the time, etc... she didnt say anything like shes going wild or anything from what i heard

ME: but ya dude, like.. if she felt smothered or needed a breakup to become herself again or whatever..... that is one thing I could have handled.... but to go 4 years of telling someone you love them, want to marry them, then without warning take it away... its laaaaaaameo

Him yeah it is lame, but what can you do... see how the lunch goes... maybe give it a few more times... then make a decision

ME: haha, i can't get over the "how's he look" thing... what a strange question

Him yeah, she was inquisitive... so my final opinion on it was that she did miss your company (in one way or another... could possibly be the just friend thing... or whatever, didn’t get into that)... but she's been hesitant because of how you feel, and she knows how you feel

 

 

So... I'm not really sure how I feel about this. I guess I just don't understand why she continues to interact with people she knows talk to me to get information about me rather than just ask herself. We've been exchanging e-mails, so whats the problem if she really wants to know? (This is the 2nd time in 3 weeks she's asked if I had a girlfriend). And why does it matter how I look?

 

Another friend told me that she's basically wanting to know how I look and if I'm dating because she doesnt want me to be with other girls, while not wanting me herself. Does that make sense?

 

Confusion continues...lol

[friscodj]

This confusion makes perfect sense. Like I said before and what I will restate here is...

 

trying to figure out a confused person will only confuse you!

 

You can analyze her emails and conversations like Shakespeare, you can even ask her directly and you will only get more confused! What more will it take for you to understand this???

 

But the frustration this is generating is probably bringing you closer to finding your clarity in this. Keep going man...you'll crack and put this behind you for good sooner or later...

[TheRedQueen]

Trying to figure out a confused person is actually quite easy, they're obviously well, confused.

 

However trying to predict a confused person's actions is a whole other story.

 

I posted this earlier in another thread but I think it would be a relevant point to make here as well:

I find that most people are just plain clueless when it comes to undertanding themselves, and that this ignorance gives birth to incomplete at best, and incoherent at worst, communication.

 

If I don't know who I am or what I want how can I possibly expect you to know who I am or what I want.

[annie24]

BigD - your ex sounds like some girls I know..... they don't want to be with their boyfriends/exes, but don't want to let him go either, *just in case they change their mind in the future.* I actually heard one girl say this verbatim, when I asked her why she just didn't cut her ex lose. she said, 'Because I may change my mind one day and want to get back together.' However, in the meantime, she was dating a new guy.

 

I don't think that is fair to you. You can't treat someone you used to date the same way you would treat a jacket or a pair of shoes in the back of your closet - you know - something you have, but never wear, but don't want to get rid of it either. You deserve far more than that.

 

I think you should let her experience what it means to live without you. that's what goes along with a breakup. I think she will get "unconfused" once you drop out of her life. either she can't live without you and she'll want you back, or she'll find that she is fine without you, and she'll move on. either way, you can't let her keep playing this yo-yo game with your heart anymore.

 

take care

[Big D]

This confusion makes perfect sense. Like I said before and what I will restate here is...

 

trying to figure out a confused person will only confuse you!

 

But the frustration this is generating is probably bringing you closer to finding your clarity in this. Keep going man...you'll crack and put this behind you for good sooner or later...

 

I hear you man... It's really starting to eat at my nerves that shes now checking up in a new way (first myspace...then mutual friend...now my friend). Why not just ask me herself?! Ugh!

 

I posted this earlier in another thread but I think it would be a relevant point to make here as well:

I find that most people are just plain clueless when it comes to undertanding themselves, and that this ignorance gives birth to incomplete at best, and incoherent at worst, communication.

 

If I don't know who I am or what I want how can I possibly expect you to know who I am or what I want.

 

This is awesome and makes total sense. She's obviously confused about something with this situation, so if she can't figure herself out, there is no way I'm going to crack the case

 

BigD - your ex sounds like some girls I know..... they don't want to be with their boyfriends/exes, but don't want to let him go either, *just in case they change their mind in the future.* I actually heard one girl say this verbatim, when I asked her why she just didn't cut her ex lose. she said, 'Because I may change my mind one day and want to get back together.' However, in the meantime, she was dating a new guy.

 

I don't think that is fair to you. You can't treat someone you used to date the same way you would treat a jacket or a pair of shoes in the back of your closet - you know - something you have, but never wear, but don't want to get rid of it either. You deserve far more than that.

 

I think you should let her experience what it means to live without you. that's what goes along with a breakup. I think she will get "unconfused" once you drop out of her life. either she can't live without you and she'll want you back, or she'll find that she is fine without you, and she'll move on. either way, you can't let her keep playing this yo-yo game with your heart anymore.

 

Oh how true I believe this to be. I've even heard stories like this from male friends of mine with their ex's on top of reading stories throughout this site about situations similar to this. That she doesn't want to be with me, but doesn't want to let go of me. It's stupid.

 

I agree with your comparison to a pair of pants in the back of the closet, and it's exactly what I don't want to become because you're right, I do deserve more. I guess I thought going away for 4 months after 4 years of daily communication would give her a chance to experience life without me. But maybe it wasn't enough? I'm still planning on going to lunch with her, and if she acts confused or says she's confused about her feelings, I'll do exactly what you say and drop out of her life totally. For a much more permanent situation so she knows I mean business. She originally initiated NC with me the night of the breakup, this time it would be my turn to initiate if I can't deal with the situation.

 

 

Although there is one thing I can't wrap my finger around.....

 

Many many females I have talked to about the situation... told about the e-mail she sent me... they've all agreed she has moved on. They've even said that she could quite possibly be asking if I'm dating anyone new to more or less find out so she'd feel less guilty dating someone new if I was as well. And I can accept that. BUT.....

 

If she is really over me and not in love with me anymore and has moved on after being separated for 4 months like she seems to be acting/saying.... why on Earth would she find it necessary to approach a guy she's never even talked to, but knows I'm friends with, just to ask about me, specifically how I looked and how I've been (even more so considering we're exchanging emails). What point does it serve to ask questions like this about me to such a random person questions if she's not interested in being with me. I dont see the point... .

 

Bahh, girls are silly sometimes, lol

[TheRedQueen]

Bahh, girls are silly sometimes, lol

 

Well men can be really menacing, col

[Big D]

Well men can be really menacing, col

 

How about we compromise and say that LOVE can be silly and menacing sometimes....

 

On a different note... I'm about a week away from hopefully figuring out the rest of my life (or at least starting to figure it out)! We've exchanged e-mails for the past few days and from what I can tell, she's excited to meet up with me and catch up on life. I haven't gotten any hints of anything more than "friendship" out of her... so all i can do is show up there and show her what she's missing and stands to lose I know she's claimed she wants me to move on as does she, but I can't help shake this feeling she is still harboring feelings for me. Time shall tell.... and hopefully time will fly this week

[friscodj]

How about we compromise and say that LOVE can be silly and menacing sometimes....

 

On a different note... I'm about a week away from hopefully figuring out the rest of my life (or at least starting to figure it out)! We've exchanged e-mails for the past few days and from what I can tell, she's excited to meet up with me and catch up on life. I haven't gotten any hints of anything more than "friendship" out of her... so all i can do is show up there and show her what she's missing and stands to lose I know she's claimed she wants me to move on as does she, but I can't help shake this feeling she is still harboring feelings for me. Time shall tell.... and hopefully time will fly this week

 

Careful here D, you're starting to shift back to putting your perspective of happiness in the hands of a confused person who has hurt you before. In what you wrote here, you seem to be biasing the perspective of this to her.

 

Don't think of this as "showing her what's she's losing". In fact, don't even consider the existence of a "win" or "loss" here. Games have winners and losers...relationships have two people, two human beings, with hearts, minds, desires, and fears constrained by their level of wisdom, understanding and nature based on their respective pasts and simply "who they are" trying to figure it all out just like everyone else.

 

Sometimes you put two wonderful people together and you get something inherently wonderful...other times...you get something inherently draining and painful which sucks the life out of each of them and can even get to the point to where the relationship morphs their personalities and identities in not-so-good ways...

 

You're after the underlying truth, within herself, within yourself, and within the relationship here D, keep your eye on the prize. And I bet if you really look deep inside, you already know the answer to this already...

[Big D]

Welp... a few days ago, I was starting to get a feeling inside like maybe the meet up will come out much better than I thought it was going to. At one point through e-mails, I got a feeling maybe she was maybe feeling something as more than friends and looking forward to seeing me for the same reasons I her.

 

Right. I decided to jump over board on that ship because I know it's just going to end up leading to the bottom of the ocean into the depths of loneliness. As much as I would absolutely love for us to meet up and her get butterflies in her stomach, I know hoping for such a thing will just make it ever harder when it doesn't happen.

 

She ended up having to work Sat afternoon and has plans for Sat night, so she asked me if I'd like to do dinner with her on Sunday. So I guess Sunday now becomes the day of destiny.

 

I'm just terrified to face the evening. It's going to be a weird feeling sitting accross a booth from a girl that for the first time since I've met her will no longer be looking into my eyes in love, but rather looking toward me as a "friend." But, I know it's what I need to do to get over this issue and the fears I have around it. Even if I end up miserable and go home feeling like crap, I guess it will be for the best to just face it and see what happens.

 

Oh and to make matters worse, if it's awful and I realize I need to go back into strict NC, it's going to totally suck, haha. Even though we've only exchanged e-mails once every few days compared to nightly phone chats, it's been nice having her in my life, even in the briefest of forms the past month. I wonder if she'll end up missing me when I'm gone for good if it's what I need to do, especially with her constant reminders of how she no longer has a life with school and work (this place being where she'd come over and see me for a few hours, then go back to her life now gone) and her e-mailing twice in the past week to ask why I had yet to respond. Maybe she's comfortable already..... ? bah, enough whining.

[TheRedQueen]

Big D, I fear that I'm losing you.... come back to me.. come back to reality

[Big D]

Big D, I fear that I'm losing you.... come back to me.. come back to reality

 

Haha.. thats what I was trying to get to with my post... but I guess it was more of a vent than anything sensible

 

More or less, I had a brief moment of weakness where I thought maybe she was starting to realize she had feelings for me. But I've snapped out of it. I'm back to the reality she's pretty much most likely looking at this as a friendly meet up.

 

With that, it's where my whole spiel about walking away came from. Sitting with her and seeing the different person sitting with me will be what I think will push me over the edge to move on with my life knowing that what I once had and still want is no more

 

 

Does that many any more sense?

[TheRedQueen]

Sure it does, you want closure.

 

Ultimately you want to close this chapter, so you can move on with your life free as a bird, no strings attached, right?

[Big D]

Sure it does, you want closure.

 

Ultimately you want to close this chapter, so you can move on with your life free as a bird, no strings attached, right?

 

Ultimately I'd love for my ex to feel like she made a mistake and realize the 4 years we had together were great and the future we talked about would be nice.

 

BUT, reality tells me thats not in the cards right now, if ever. So yes, to that extent, I want to be able to move on.

 

It's just hard walking away from your life of 4 years.. Everyone knows what it's like to have to make a choice to tell your former lover/best friend that you can't be in contact with them anymore. Id rather be in a prison camp being tortured. It will be a painful thing to have to do if it's where I'm headed.

[TheRedQueen]

Hon, I'm not gonna lie to you 4 years is a long time, but not to worry because you are still sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo young. Trust me, this is not the end, this is only the beginning.

[Big D]

Hon, I'm not gonna lie to you 4 years is a long time, but not to worry because you are still sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo young. Trust me, this is not the end, this is only the beginning.

 

I know I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me. I guess that hardest pill to swallow has been how 4 years of talk of marriage/family/etc was lost in an instant. Call me old fashion, but I come from a family that my folks dated in college and married right out of it. Now, I'm well aware the marriage age is way up from what it was 25 years ago, but regardless....

 

I suppose with this being my senior year of college and our "plans" to get a place together next year, I truly thought I had my future planned out.

 

But like I said, I know I've got lots of time ahead of me. It's just the matter of being about the get out there again and hope to find someone that gives my heart the same joy she has.

[TheRedQueen]

But like I said, I know I've got lots of time ahead of me. It's just the matter of being about the get out there again and hope to find someone that gives my heart the same joy she has.

What a positive attitude. I've got faith in you finding love again, and that says a lot cause I'm one cynical sister.

[Big D]

What a positive attitude. I've got faith in you finding love again, and that says a lot cause I'm one cynical sister.

 

Well hey I appreciate the confidence boost. At least one of us has confidence in this haha. I know it's possible to find love. I thought I had been in love with my first relationship which lasted a little under 3 years. Then I met my most recent ex, and the feelings for her are so far above and beyond what I had felt with the first girl. I guess I was hoping I was done searching, ESPECIALLY because my family loved this ex and DESPISED the first one, haha

 

 

We shall see what happens. The rest of my life is 5 days away, whether it's what I want or what is real. Time shall tell my friends!