Is he into me?

[Starrjenna]

HI I'm Jenna. this is my first post! I have been "dating" this guy for about 4 months. We have yet to have the talk about if we are exclusive or not! I really like him but I am waiting for him to bring it up. Anyway when we first met we hung out at least 4 times a week. Dinner, baseball games, parties the works. He would always call me or send me cute texts everyday. Lately the past month or so we still keep in touch regularly he texts me still and we have been hanging. But not as much maybe 1 or 2 times a week. The phone calls are almost non existant. He always talks to me through Im or text which have become less frequent. I know he has been really crazy with work but I dont know. Everything is great when we hang out and he sometimes tells me how much he likes me. But whenever we go out with his friends or anything he ignores me the entire time! Last night we went out and I haven't seen him in a week. So we were going to do dinner then meet some of his friends for a concert. So it turns out he brings one of his friends to dinner as well even though it was just supposed to be us. And completely ignored me all night.(until we went back to his place of course) I had even asked him if he wanted to hang a different time since it was all of his buddies and me. He really wanted me to go so I did and I can say we spent maybe 30 mins the whole night together.. My question is since he hasnt brought up being exclusive and ignores me when we are out with friends.. And the calls/texts have slowed down.. IS HE INTO ME???

[SeaBisquit]

well, he is asking you to hang out with him. but i feel that if he wants to see you more it would be more on a one to one basis. i wouldn't consider it dating or anything like that if his buddies are always around. how do his buddies treat you? and if he is really into you he will be showing you off to all his buddies

[Starrjenna]

They are all really cool! I ended up talking to them more then him last night. We definetly have our one on one time as well. But it seems like we hang with friends quite a bit too. Either mine or his. None of the other boys brought their girls so I was just one of the guys last night ! But he definetly takes me out by myself as well or we do movie nights. It seems like we are a couple without really being one.. Thats why I just dont know if he's into me!

[Beec]

If a man brings you to meet his friends, then he usually thinks highly of you. Either that or he is parading you in front of them to show off because he thinks you look really hot or something like that. I think your worries are just worries.

[Beec]

It seems like we are a couple without really being one.. Thats why I just dont know if he's into me!

 

You know sometimes the "exclusive" conversation never happens. You just know.

[chai714]

You know sometimes the "exclusive" conversation never happens. You just know.

 

As strange as it may seem, it's true.

 

My last girlfriend - I never asked about exclusivity. Years later, I even used to joke around and ask her, "so, do you want to be my girlfriend and make it official or not?"

[Starrjenna]

As strange as it may seem, it's true.

 

My last girlfriend - I never asked about exclusivity. Years later, I even used to joke around and ask her, "so, do you want to be my girlfriend and make it official or not?"

 

LOL thats great.. This site is awsome !!!!!

[ducky]

I get the impression that he's doing all the asking and the text-ing. Perhaps he's waiting for you to call and text him for once! And have you ever told him how much you enjoy his company and how much you look forward to his company? Us guys need assurance from you ladies too you know.

[Starrjenna]

That is true. I usually don't call him. But I do text him when I am thinking about him. Or if I haven't heard from him in a day or two. I always tell him how excited I am to see him and how I miss him a lot. I usually let the guy chase me but I guess since I am really into him I should show it a little bit more. I am always scared of getting blown off or dissed so I usually try to limit my calls/texts and let the guy do ALL the work. Maybe this is a mistake?? imput?

[Caterina]

Maybe he's busy, maybe he's losing interest...there is no way of knowing unless you communicate.

[bigredvick]

my girlfriend does that to me when she is around her friends. dont take it seriously, for some reason when a gf/bf is around friends then they intend to have more to talk about with their friend and seems to be ignoring you. they dont really mean to though, or that is what my girlfriend told me.

[Starrjenna]

UPDATE~ So last night we went out to another concert. Same situation. Except some stupid girl was dancing all up on him the whole night. I got super mad and we got into a fight about it. He apolgized for ignoring me and spent the rest of the night being super cute and sweet. well at the end of the night he had to go pick up a friend who was stranded. Well I freaked out on him and basically went off on him and left. Well 5 mins later I felt bad and texted him a sorry. He never responded, so an hour later I just texted him that I was sorry and that he was really important to me and I didnt want to lose him. He never responed to that either. Should I just wait for him to contact me or give him a call??

[riviera]

UPDATE~ So last night we went out to another concert. Same situation. Except some stupid girl was dancing all up on him the whole night. I got super mad and we got into a fight about it. He apolgized for ignoring me and spent the rest of the night being super cute and sweet. well at the end of the night he had to go pick up a friend who was stranded. Well I freaked out on him and basically went off on him and left. Well 5 mins later I felt bad and texted him a sorry. He never responded, so an hour later I just texted him that I was sorry and that he was really important to me and I didnt want to lose him. He never responed to that either. Should I just wait for him to contact me or give him a call??

 

You know how men hate it when woman get emotional. Its the number one thing that you always need to avoid. however easier said than done, I know, I have been there. I dont blame you for freaking out because you saw it as the last straw and there is an undescribable urge for you at his point to say 'hey, look at me! I'm the one you should be giving attention, that that guy over there!'. Of course you deserve more, you probably feel as if you needed more for a long time, it all heated up in your mind and then POW! .

In my experience these kind of guys dont react to emotional outcrying. You may now play the waiting game because he needs time to digest what you did and said. You are like me impatient but its going to take a few days. Stop forcing him to communicate. If he doesnt say anything in 5 days then I think he may have left you.

 

At that point there is nothing much to lose, call him, go to him but make sure you understand it could very well get ugly again. In the meantime try and write down 10 things you actually like about him it will help you focus on positive things in this relationship. You need to start having some more fun and take things a little more light hearted.

[Batya33]

It sounds like you weren't comfortable with not being exclusive but instead of having that conversation, you instead pick arguments over his specific behaviors. It's fine to be specific but clue him in that there is a bigger issue here. Also, texts can be easily misinterpreted and are too indirect, in my humble opinion. In my serious relationships the man has always initiated "the talk" to be exclusive early on - typically in the first month. When I have had to raise it sometimes the guy has agreed to exclusivity or said he needed more time but as it turned out he wasn't that interested in the first place. I would leave him alone at this point and let him come to you.

[Starrjenna]

Thanks guys! Well he called me yesterday. And he said that I was the only person he wanted to date and he was SORRY! I was an emotional basketcase on friday and I hate that! But he took notice of what I wanted I guess. Next time though I am going to try to play it cool! It was the last straw for me and thats why I freaked out. It sucks because I am not even that type of person to get all worked up about stupid stuff! Anyhow thaks for the great advice! You guys rock!