engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 ....is angry. And has said, "You shouldn't be telling everyone our business," blah blah etc. Also, what those people say" blah blah. Now he's making a big deal of it. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 How did he find you on here? Well, he really shouldn't be searching your posts, That's invading your privacy in a way, Do what you feel is comfortable, and if you need to change your username, maybe the admins or mods can help, Hugs, Rose Link to comment
BornToResist Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 I thought my bf was going to find me on here. I PM'd an administrator and they gave me a new username and deleted my posts. This site is amazing and they will work with you on whatever they can. I'm sorry he feels this way. Maybe you should just tell him you needed an anonomous venting session. Would he rather you air your dirty laundry to people who have no idea who you are, or family and friends who will hold it against him? Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 he should be grateful you seek advice! Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 How did he find you on here? Well, he really shouldn't be searching your posts, That's invading your privacy in a way, Do what you feel is comfortable, and if you need to change your username, maybe the admins or mods can help, Hugs, Rose Heh, he came home early from work and saw me posting. PLUS, he is a computer tech and somehow managed to find everything I wrote. And get this- he read all of my posts and everyone's responses yesterday, when I was in the shower. How damn nosy. Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 I thought my bf was going to find me on here. I PM'd an administrator and they gave me a new username and deleted my posts. This site is amazing and they will work with you on whatever they can. I'm sorry he feels this way. Maybe you should just tell him you needed an anonomous venting session. Would he rather you air your dirty laundry to people who have no idea who you are, or family and friends who will hold it against him? He is saying I shouldn't be telling 'everyone' our business and blah blah. But I read the one particular line of your post to him - ("would he rather you air your dirty laundry to anonymous people or family and friends")... 'cause it's true. My family would haa-aaaaate him if they knew. He said, "I wish you'd talk to me about this instead of everyone else." Now if soo-ommeone was hooooooonest about stuff then that wouldn't be a problem- now would it. Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 he should be grateful you seek advice! He's not, because everyone is against him in my thread (as they well should be- if I was an outsider looking at it with an objective outsider's view, I would agree with the posters views) and also because I'm "telling our business." Heh. Link to comment
chai714 Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Get your own laptop, password protect it and never let him touch it. Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 But nah, I'm not going to change my username and stuff like that. I, unlike some people I know, am honest. So if he knows I post on this site about that stuff oh damn well. I won't lie about it or cover it up. It will just be found anyway. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 When you're done using the computer- delete your history, cookies, and temporary internet files. My guess is that is how he found what you wrote here. Also scan your computer for spyware, if he installed something to track you, a spyware scan should pick it up. Of course, pick your battles- if this is going to be a big deal and ruin your relationship, then it might be wise to give up posting on websites- however if this is an issue of overall possessiveness or control- then you may want to re-evaluate whether this relationship is healthy or not. BellaDonna Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 Get your own laptop, password protect it and never let him touch it. Heh, he can get past passwords and all of that. Oh well- I'm not going to hide it. I will consider it a warning to him - in that I don't forget. Ever. Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 When you're done using the computer- delete your history, cookies, and temporary internet files. My guess is that is how he found what you wrote here. Also scan your computer for spyware, if he installed something to track you, a spyware scan should pick it up. Of course, pick your battles- if this is going to be a big deal and ruin your relationship, then it might be wise to give up posting on websites- however if this is an issue of overall possessiveness or control- then you may want to re-evaluate whether this relationship is healthy or not. BellaDonna Eh *shrug* that won't stop him. All that deletion is just for average computer users (like myself). He can go beyond that. Nothing is ever *really* erased on a computer and so on, as he's blabbering on. Oh well. He'll get over it. Hmm good point, about the possessiveness and control thing. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Well yes, if he can get into "system restore" and tape backup then it really does not make a difference. Honesty is the best policy anyways. Maybe he does not understand what enotalone is about. If you've been posting for advice, I really don't see any harm in it. We all need someone to talk to sometimes, and in many cases it's better to post here than it is to tell people that KNOW HIM about your problems. Here there is some privacy and a chance to get a pool of diverse advice. He may feel like his trust has been violated or that he's on display. That is understanable, but still sort of ungrounded when you consider that we have NO IDEA who you are or who he is, nor do we care. I don't mean that in a bad way- but what I mean is, we don't want to bud in your business, etc. Everyone on here is anonymous. BellaDonna Link to comment
BornToResist Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 If you're gonna dig, expect to find something, you know? If he's trying that hard to see what you're up to, chances are he's going to find something he doesn't like. There are so many worse things that you could do, other than getting advice from an anonymous website. Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 One word: Exactly. Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 If you're gonna dig, expect to find something, you know? If he's trying that hard to see what you're up to, chances are he's going to find something he doesn't like. There are so many worse things that you could do, other than getting advice from an anonymous website. Like cheat, hit on mens behind his back, (also a form of cheating), talk about him disrespectfully and etc etc. But I don't. Link to comment
gattsuga Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Wow... he seems really desperate and paranoid. I guess he should be since he's probably going to lose you. The FACT is, he succumbs to peer pressure very easily. He tried to have sexual relations with another girl (doesn't matter if she's 14 or 20). He lied about it, and tried to get his buddy to cover it up. He stalks you on the internet, you'll have no privacy in your life. He sounds very immature. Not ready for marriage. Not ready for a steady relationship. Any guy who tries to cheat on the girl he 'loves and adores', has a pretty {Mod Edit} morale. if the guy is reading this, grow the {Mod Edit} up. she's looking for advice, let her get some. Like it or not, you're the bad guy, and you really don't deserve her. you messed up, you {Mod Edit} up. i dunno how you can make things better, but you stalking her and pressuring her is just pushing her further away. Link to comment
southerngirl Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Dont allow him to control you. He is the one that is wrong. he cant even be trusted, he lies, he hits on teenagers! Thats a whole 'nother story. Tell him if he doesnt like your posting here to shove it.... If you allow him to control you now, it will just get worse and worse. Link to comment
BrokenWingedFaery Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 I second southerngirl's thoughts. Link to comment
Spawn Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 if you have Xp or 2000 make a new user and password protect it...don't use easy, familiar passwords, use names+numbers combination. In any case if you have many members in your family its best to create a new user for all of em... no sharing of workspace = peace of mind. Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 If I were you I wouldn't worry at all about him ranting about your talking on ENA. You say you have nothing to hide, and you also need a place you can go to talk to people about your concerns and problems. I have read back on your other threads( it took some time) , and the guy seems like a real jerk sometimes and I am not sure he is a guy I would want to be with if I were in your shoes. Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 Heh, very well said. He did see it yes- message taken. He got angry but I don't care. I'm glad he saw it because he DOES need to realize that he is the bad guy in this situation. He keeps saying "I know you won't forget but can't you forgive? Can't we just move on with the relationship?" and stuff like that. That tells me he really doesn't COMPREHEND the depth of what he did. Thank you for your post, I loved it. Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 Agreed. Plus- I even used different names. I didn't use the people's real names in my threads. Link to comment
doyathink Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 You know whats funny, ..my husband has done the exact same thing! I pm'd admin to change my name or get a new account and they said I could do either. ( Thank you guys) I created a new account, posted with it for a couple of days and then thought to myself.......the things I say here are not a secret! Many on the things I have said about him are things I have said TO him. Maybe it will hit home a little harder if he reads the things I post. He may realize I'm not kidding when he sees this! So I decided to keep my original account....I hope he reads EVERYTHING I write here! ( some of the things I write here are geared for his pleasure) Link to comment
engagedkitty Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 Dont allow him to control you. He is the one that is wrong. he cant even be trusted, he lies, he hits on teenagers! Thats a whole 'nother story. Tell him if he doesnt like your posting here to shove it.... If you allow him to control you now, it will just get worse and worse. I did, and he got mad, and started raging and broke the tv, and an ashtray. So mature. I guess that in itself is just another red flag, wouldn't you say? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now