my boyfriend keeps his best female friend naked pictures. is it ok?

[7forallmankind]

I just found some naked pictures of some girls who are my boyfriend's friend. One of them is very close to him, she calls him all the time, even at 3:00AM. I don't mind if she has close female friends, but I feel weird. Do you think it's acceptable and normal? I really need your advice because it keeps bugging me all day.

Thank you so much.

[melrich]

No it's not acceptable or normal. He has naked photos of her (I assume they were taken with her consent) and she is calling him at 3am?

 

I am not sure what other signals you are looking for other than a man holding a big red sign saying "Get Out Now"

[southerngirl]

No its not acceptable.. He's got Nude pictures of her, she calls late at night..

 

Hmm... do you and him live together? How long have you been a couple?

 

Does he know you saw the pictures?

[7forallmankind]

thanks for your reply, we has been living together for 3 years. he doesn't know I saw those pictures. I think it's really disgusting.

Do you think I should confront him?

[mysteryman]

Sounds like the basis for cheating, sorry no affence or anything.

[melrich]

It it were me I would confront him. I'd ask him for his key to the house and tell him he has 1 day to move out.

[annie24]

yeah, big giant red flag. definitely a 'get out now!' sign.

[southerngirl]

Oh yeah, if it were me I certainly would. If it were me? Something like this could be a dealbreaker.

 

It is disgusting. I would suspect that they are more than friends too. In a commited relationship with you, he has no business talking to 'friends' at all hours of the night, let alone having naked pictures of them!

[DN]

You said girls. I take it that means more than one. What sort of photos are they - sleazy or artistic type shots? Where did you find them?

[7forallmankind]

well, the most private part, and I can see them very clearly. And why? guys always keep those kind of pics of their female friends?

[miserableme]

That is really strange. I don't know any guy that keeps nude pictures of his female friends, unless he's cheating.

 

I'd ask him about it ASAP. He might have some sort of amazing explanation.

[annie24]

sleazy pics, the most private parts and I can see them very clearly. Do guys always keeps their naked female friends pictures?

 

um.... none of my male friends have any naked photos of me!!! Actually, no one has naked photos of me, except for my parents with my first bath photos (similar to melrich's avatar).

 

yeah, huge red flag.

[7forallmankind]

i'm asking him and he blaming me to dig in his stuff.

[annie24]

um... DTMFA. (DTMFA is a phrase used by dan savage, an author and columnist for "Savage Love." DTMFA = Dump The MF Already!"

[southerngirl]

um... DTMFA. (DTMFA is a phrase used by dan savage, an author and columnist for "Savage Love." DTMFA = Dump The MF Already!"

 

 

Oh yeah I agree!

[itsallgrand]

 

 

I wouldn't be asking him anything at that point.

I'd be telling him to find another place to live.

 

Not normal. Hugely disrespectful. All you'll get are excuses and diversions if you try to talk to him about it.

[FortunateOne]

I agree with everyone above, confront him and start working on getting out. This guy has "major" character issues to deal with and I would focus on the why these character problems were overlooked from the start. You deserve and want a better.

[justpaisley]

How would he feel if you had pictures of your naked male friends in your wallet?

[maasikus]

Very obvious that she is much more than a friend. Who calls at 3am? As far as the naked pictures go, unless he is an artist or painter he has no business having some other girl's naked pictures. Besides, why hide it from you if there is nothing fishy about it....guys might have naked pictures of pornstars or playboy models, but never a close friend...

[candy604]

definitely not normal. why would he have naked pictures of her in hte first place? that's so weird... i haven't heard of guy's keeping naked pics of their female friends. That's news to me. You might as well keep naked pics of your good guy friends to be fair ( tell him that).

[candy604]

nah if he's blaming you he has something to hide, obviously he didnt' want you to see them.

[kesea]

I wouldn't confront him about it, it will only give him the opportunity to "explain" and quite frankly there is no explanation. Plus it will make things even more awkward and uncomforable than they already are. I would just leave him and just tell him you're not "into" him anymore. One mistake ppl always make is feeling they owe someone a detailed, honest explanation for why they are breaking up with them. Heck, I used to make the same mistake myself.

 

I can tell you what will happen if you try to talk to him about it. He will say it's no big deal and charm you into giving him another chance. Try to convince you that things are not as bad as they seem. Only, the problems will only get worse from there, your doubts and concerns will only grow and you will think of him differently from that point on, and always be suspicious. So why put yourself and even him through that? Let him be happy and go find someone who doesn't care if he has naked picture of his friends, sister (LOL), or whoever. His weirdness need not be YOUR problem anymore and I wouldn't recommend staying in a dysfunctional relationship because it will make YOU disfunctional. Get out now!