Never dated,I'm 36

[quietgrl]

I'm a late date bloomer at the age of 36.I know i have to put myself out there, talk to every man that walks in front of my face but i don't know what the hell i'm suppose to be doing.I never went out on one date in my life ,had a boyfriend or have a man show interest in me. The only time i have a chance to be around men is at my job.

There is one co-worker i would like to ask out for lunch but...This is what happen today after work.I was sitting down waiting for the trrain and the guy i would like to ask for lunch was sitting accross the train track..I had a chance to approach him but i froze.I can't believe i didn't ask him out.

I hate not being able to play the dating scene game.

[yeawutever]

You can try online dating websites such as link removed or link removed and if you get to meet some guys in person, do meet them in public places or with a group of friends.

[itsallgrand]

hey quietgrl,

 

Try not to beat yourself up about it. So you didn't talk to him today. You can do it tomorrow, or the next day. Don't give up!

There's no bones about it, it's quite tough for all of us. It takes practice. So just keep practising and you will get there before you know it.

 

Do you have a plan for how you are going to ask this guy out? It might help to have one.

Try to approach him at a time when he is not already busy or in a rush. That will make things easier, and he will be able to give you his attention.

Take a deep breath and go for it.

The worse thing that can happen is he says 'no'. Not a big deal. Just smile and be proud that you tried. Your confidence will shoot up and next time will be easier. But I don't think he will say no to lunch with you.

 

Looking forward to an update, quietgrl.

[hotsands]

At 36 I wouldn't recommend myspace... But yeah. I know the feeling. I haven't had a single traditional date in my life either and I'm close to your age. I have had so-called "boyfriends" which never lasted long. Just a self-esteem boost on their way to hotter chicks. I know it's easy to regret the things you've never done or had at this age. But I've already asked myself if it really matters. I don't think it does. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe dates, socialization, the prom and everything else is what makes the normal people normal. Sometimes I really regret being a late bloomer. Now I'm depressed. Sorry I wasn't any help.

[mgirl]

I think it's really attractive not to have dated until 36. Good luck and put yourself out there!

[quietgrl]

I'm trying to put myself out there but it's really hard.I'm a very impatient person if i don't see results at a certain point.

 

I'm going to ask this co -worker out and see what happens.

[Batya33]

In my experience and the experience of the many women I know, a man who is interested and available (emotionally and otherwise) will ask you out if he's interested - even if he's really shy (and if he is that shy that he can't even ask if you want to have coffee I would say that qualifies as not being emotionally available and probably someone who wouldn't be a good candidate for you anyway).

 

Here is my advice - work on being open, approachable, warm and friendly but not desperate - confidence is a huge turn on/neediness and clinginess are huge turn offs.

 

Go to places where you feel comfortable and like yourself - for me, that included working at a homeless shelter where the other volunteers by definition had common values with me- I made several friends there over the years - join a book club, do community service, join a religious group, check out link removed to see where people with similar interests are meeting, etc.

 

I would not ask this coworker out - I would be open and warm and friendly but there is a good chance he doesn't want to date someone he works with and/or that he is seeing someone. Let him do the asking.