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Hi everyone, I writing here because i don't know who I can talk to to help heel the pain I'm going through. My ex and I have been dating for over 3 years. Recently we went our separate ways, but it wasn't on mutual terms. We split because she falling in love with a friend she met at a lesbian club. They've only know each other for no more than 3 month and she wants to pursue the relationship with this girl. I can't seem to let go of her because I've never been in love before until I met her. We were so happy with each other for the first couple of year until last year when things started going down hill due to financial trouble, not with me but with her. She says she's happy for coming out. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with her coming out. The problem I have is I know her well enough that it's more than just coming out. We didn't break up with either one of us having someone else in our lives, she was already seeing this new girl. Anyone?

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I'm not a lesbian, but I doubt it's much different than for the rest of us. You never really heal all the pain, but you do find ways to deal with it. It takes time. I dated one woman and still wanted her back more than five years after we broke it off, and I had not spoken with her for the last four of those years. Sooner or later, I moved on, I found someone else. I found a succession of someone elses over a number of years, then i found one in particular. Do I still think about my first love? Sure, but not in the same way.


Right now, the things that seem best to help you heel are to stay away and stay busy.

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Missing~I understand heartbreak and how you feel. As does just about everyone else who posts here. I'm sorry for your pain. Are you still in contact

with your ex? Read the posts here often, there is allot of really good support.

Know that you are not alone, and that talking about it and reading about what others have gone through and are going through here really helps.

This is a really tough time ~I am coming out of 7 years with my ex, so believe me I know.

Take good care of YOU, and put yourself first right now.

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Thank you to all that replies. I will take it to heart and move on. I just fine it difficult right now and can't seem to let go. I am still living there but in another room. Yesterday, I come home and find the two hiding in her room naked. I didn't care for that one bit. The thing about all this is it was my birthday yesterday. I'm living there still because my name is also on the lease. The reason I have not left because I don't want her to take me down with her she fails to pay the rent. Yes, I got extremely upset yesterday and pulled a knife. My intention was to give it to them so that they can just put it through my heart so that they can see what they are doing me. All I asked of them was to give me some time to get over my ex and they couldn't do that. The one thing about the whole mess is that I don't think my ex is 100% lesbian. She's bi and right now, she's all caught up with a lesbian who is 100% lesbian and basically giving her faults information without every getting to know my ex. I have explain to my ex that she only knows this girl for no more than two months. I asked my ex what she wants and she can't answer me straight which leads me to believe that she's not 100% percent. She wants to see where this goes and she thinks it makes her happy. I do understand the fact that she's happy but it's faults. I'm trying to convince her that in order to ever make yourself happy is to look in the mirror and see that you're not alone in this adventure. She have 4 kids that needs her and they are all going down hill and she can't see it. Her mind is really cloudy at the moment and everything that she is doing is selfish by both of them. I don't know how else to handle this. I'm trying to be her friend but the things she does is making it difficult for me to be her friend.

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I think you need to use some tough love on her. If she is your friend, even though she is stomping all over your heart, then you need to wake her up to what she needs to do, esp. with regard to her kids.


And get away from her ASAP. She is stomping all over your heart. It's just cruel to have your ex who you cheated on have to come home to you in bed with someone else. Either kick her out, or find a way to leave, NOW.

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