u5ername Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 I have a great guy. In the sense that he is attractive, romantic, smart, funny, the bedroom is great, trustworthy, and we just click. Sounds great huh? Well, as we get further and further into the relationship…things are starting to bother me!! For example, he always talking about his baby mama other than about the baby, we are both very busy and rarely get alone time, he may a have a drinking problem, he is financially in over his head, he is possessive, controlling, jealous. How do you know when to overlook these bad qualities…especially when there are so many good qualities like the ones I mentioned above?? I know no one is perfect… Link to comment
Aschleigh Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 How long have you been together? If you are having serious reservations pretty early on , I suggest listening to them. If he is possesive, sontrolling and jealous than why is he so trustworthy? As busy as you are having time alone together is very important, it's essential to having a relationship. Link to comment
u5ername Posted August 25, 2006 Author Share Posted August 25, 2006 How long have you been together? If you are having serious reservations pretty early on , I suggest listening to them. If he is possesive, sontrolling and jealous than why is he so trustworthy? As busy as you are having time alone together is very important, it's essential to having a relationship. We have been dating 6 months. He is trustworthy because I am comfortable that if he ever we put in a position with another girl i really believe he would do the right thing. I don't know why I feel that way...maybe because of his clean record and maybe because cheating is a deal breaker in his book and he is really crazy about me. We get some alone time...it just never feels like enough because we always have to run here and run there...we both took an upcoming day off of work to just enjoy the day...I just worry after that...i'll miss that day we had so much it will interfere with things. Link to comment
Royltnxile Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 I have a great guy. In the sense that he is attractive, romantic, smart, funny, the bedroom is great, trustworthy, and we just click. Sounds great huh?........... he may a have a drinking problem, he is financially in over his head, he is possessive, controlling, jealous. How do you know when to overlook these bad qualities…especially when there are so many good qualities like the ones I mentioned above?? I know no one is perfect… Ummm...since when did things like drinking problem, possessiveness, controlling, and jealousy issues become traits of a "great guy"? Your post is an oxymoron. I would be worried about the negatives, because they indicate that the guy probably has deeper issues behind these. Link to comment
u5ername Posted August 25, 2006 Author Share Posted August 25, 2006 good point...but I'm soooo afraid I mightnot find those better qualities easily in someone else...I know that sounds idiotic...I guess if I see these bad traits start to grow...run for the hills?? Link to comment
stolenshadow Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 good point...but I'm soooo afraid I mightnot find those better qualities easily in someone else...I know that sounds idiotic...I guess if I see these bad traits start to grow...run for the hills?? Why wait?, he has them, they won't go away and the more you invest emotionally the harder it's going to be to leave. Link to comment
candy604 Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 how controlling, jeolous is he? an idea? its natural to be jeolous but it shouldn't be taken to the extreme ( i.e cutting out all connections with other guys, flipping out if you talk to a guy or a guy talks to you). Controlling if it's like " i have to know where you are 24/7 and you can only hang out with me, we do what I say we do." If you start loosing friends and finding yourself becoming dependent on just your bf, there's a big problem. Just be careful! Never let a bf run your life! If it is those things, you will have issues in the future. I guarentee you there are men out there that have close to the total package and you shouldn't stick around with someone b/c your afraid you can't find better. I suggest you talk to him and find a compromise on his bad traits and see if you can work out a solution. For example,if he's jeolous, make him feel he's the only guy and that the other guys are just friends, and explain to him nothing going on or if he's controlling, tell him you like to plan things together b/c it makes you feel your apart of the relationship blah blah You have to weigh these bad traits and see if they will be bad in the future. Link to comment
costan Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 how controlling, jeolous is he? an idea? its natural to be jeolous but it shouldn't be taken to the extreme ( i.e cutting out all connections with other guys, flipping out if you talk to a guy or a guy talks to you). theres nothing wrong with not letting a girlfriend have guy friends. unless they are gay... NO GUY WANTS TO BE "JUST FRIENDS" with any girl... EVER. every guy everywhere will want to "do it" with any girl they get a chance with, unless they consider the girl ugly, in which case they wouldn't want to be near em, let alone "friends" with them. im a guy, i know lots of guys, i know this for a fact. so why the hell would a guy let his girlfriend hang out with the competition? if she wants to be around other men that badly than shes just not ready for a serious and exclusive relationship. Link to comment
Fallout Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 theres nothing wrong with not letting a girlfriend have guy friends. Uhmmm there is everything wrong with "letting" or "not letting" her do anything...gotta love that middle-ages view of the world, it seems to be pretty common still. Link to comment
candy604 Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 why can't she have guy friends? not all guys are after boning a girl. I have friends who are guys and they are not into taking me away from my bf. Link to comment
costan Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 why can't she have guy friends? not all guys are after boning a girl. I have friends who are guys and they are not into taking me away from my bf. they are sweetheart. they're probably shy, but if you make ANY gesture indicating youre interested in them at all, trust me they will be ALL OVER YOU. Unless youre really ugly, but youre likely acceptable. it doesnt make them bad people, it just makes them guys. how do you think we got to a population of over 6 billion people? it was by having instincts that make guys want to have sex with as many girls as possible. thats what guys do, unless theyre gay, but even then theyd do it to other guys. Link to comment
Fallout Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 I see...so 3 billion members of the male gender are all the same...because if you are that way everyone else has to be right ? I feel sorry for anyone that has the bad luck of being your gf... Link to comment
costan Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 I see...so 3 billion members of the male gender are all the same...because if you are that way everyone else has to be right ? I feel sorry for anyone that has the bad luck of being your gf... not all of them of course, any single guy DEFINITELY, and %95 of boyfriends. i dont know any guy who this doesnt apply to, not basing it on myself. Link to comment
Fallout Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 Well costan, I think you should find better friends then, however I'm not surprised these are the types of people you hang out with since in your opiniong it is right for someone to control what his gf does/doesn't do. Link to comment
candy604 Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 no not my guy friends, they've been my friends since high school ( over 6-7 years) , in high school they were interested in me but never stopped being my friend after b/c i didnt like them back. Some have gf's some don't. But not all guys are like that. yeah i'm not ugly though haha. We just had a group of friends ( guys and girls), so all of us still remain friends and see each other during xmas or summertime). Link to comment
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