she still calls

[iamconfused5302]

I have been dating this girl for 3 months now and she still talks to her ex bf because she cant let him go. So I told her to sort out her feelings, and she was crying that she wants to forget about her ex. I told her not to call me until she does, choose me or him. She still keeps on calling or texting. I dont know what I should do. Thanks

[Momene]

Stick to your guns. You're being treated as second best unless she chooses you.

[PRSOV]

I agree, you don't want to get involved with someone who can't be committed towards you. Don't let her treat you like this... It isn't healthy in the long run.

 

You did the right thing, maybe she just aint meant for you...

 

PR

[iamconfused5302]

shall i pick up the calls or respond to the texts or shall i keep in ignoring

[celticghirl]

keep ignoring

[PRSOV]

Keep doing what you stood by... I don't think she could hold a relationship under those circumstances.

 

I would answer one more time, but be firm in how you feel.

 

PR

[iamconfused5302]

LOL., its hard cause i like her alot.

[PRSOV]

I can see your point of view, you really like her... but if she is being like this now, if you get emotionally involved you are only setting yourself up for failure and hurting yourself.

 

Give her some time, If and when she sorts out her feelings and doesn't get back together with her ex then reasses the situation then... but only then!

 

PR

[Momene]

Time 2 weeks max and be firm!

[annie24]

what is she saying in these calls or texts. If it is not about the choice, then don't respond.

[iamconfused5302]

she says that she misses me, why am i not picking up -its shady, literally will call me like 20 times.

-i won't call anymore, you win- but she still calls.

-she also mentioned that she is attached to me.

[annie24]

meh. keep ignorning. if she's not saying, "I choose you!" then forget it.

[Momene]

I suspect she's telling that to her ex as well.

 

You're best off out of it.

[lilac_indi]

just dont pick up. easy. she will get the message eventually. dont give in!

[Momene]

just dont pick up. easy. she will get the message eventually. dont give in!

 

... or she might become the stalker from hell.

[iamconfused5302]

LOL, y would she do that esp if she is loves her ex bf.

 

i just dont get it and then she mentions to me when she forgets about him, she will have a relationship with me.

 

Whatever

[Momene]

Perhaps you'll become the ex she can't get over now and she'll go from relationship to relationship always not being over the one before current.

[chai714]

iamconfused,

 

Believe it or not, your scenario is a very common one. I wouldn't give her an ultimatum - him or me. Each person will heal at his/her own pace and she's obviously not healed yet. In your position, you can't do much about the rate at which she heals, so it's best to put her on the back burner. By this, I mean by touching base every few weeks or even once a month. This way, you can monitor her progress while you're dating others too.

 

So, you're not kicking her to the curb or condemning her for not being able to get over her ex and date you. And you shouldn't either. Try to be more understanding but at the same time, move forward while keeping her on your back burner. Good luck.

[annie24]

chai does bring up a good point. you don't even have to give her an ultimatum. you can make the choice for yourself. clearly, she is NOT over the ex, and why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't over their ex?

 

perhaps putting her on the "back burner" is a good way to go, while you go out and keep moving on yourself.