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I have been dating this girl for 3 months now and she still talks to her ex bf because she cant let him go. So I told her to sort out her feelings, and she was crying that she wants to forget about her ex. I told her not to call me until she does, choose me or him. She still keeps on calling or texting. I dont know what I should do. Thanks

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I can see your point of view, you really like her... but if she is being like this now, if you get emotionally involved you are only setting yourself up for failure and hurting yourself.


Give her some time, If and when she sorts out her feelings and doesn't get back together with her ex then reasses the situation then... but only then!



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Believe it or not, your scenario is a very common one. I wouldn't give her an ultimatum - him or me. Each person will heal at his/her own pace and she's obviously not healed yet. In your position, you can't do much about the rate at which she heals, so it's best to put her on the back burner. By this, I mean by touching base every few weeks or even once a month. This way, you can monitor her progress while you're dating others too.


So, you're not kicking her to the curb or condemning her for not being able to get over her ex and date you. And you shouldn't either. Try to be more understanding but at the same time, move forward while keeping her on your back burner. Good luck.

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chai does bring up a good point. you don't even have to give her an ultimatum. you can make the choice for yourself. clearly, she is NOT over the ex, and why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't over their ex?


perhaps putting her on the "back burner" is a good way to go, while you go out and keep moving on yourself.

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