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Does size REALLY matter? And no its not what you think.


Roi
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Personally, I am attracted to men whom are in good physical shape. To me it just indicates they probably share a similar lifestyle as me, and take care of their health and appearance. Those are just some qualities and compatiblities that are important to me. I am very active, and enjoy being active and having someone whom can keep up.....so it's just a judgement that yes, I do make. And yes, I am sure there are also the subconscious biological desires for certain attributes too (not that I go around looking at men and rating their reproductive qualities consciously!).

 

That being said, I have dated heavier/larger men too....but I admit I discovered I just was not as attracted to them as I needed to be.

 

But, there are women whom are attracted to larger men too.

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bottom line is.............some girls do and some dont.

 

Yup.

 

Personally, I was more concerned about the words coming out of his mouth when I first met someone. Use the language properly, show some wit and make me laugh...those were the things that got me interested.

 

Then again, I've been called an "intellectual snob" more than once.

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lol............you sound like me.

 

bottom line is.............some girls do and some dont.

be yourslef and nothing else. some people are just "lean". i hate being called "skinnny".

 

I don't like that term either.

 

It's true that some like lean, and some like more heavy set, and some women go for a bit more muscular. As with anything, there are some features that probably attract more women, and some that will put off more. Personally I go for the lean guys, but have friends who go for the ones who are a bit more plump.

 

If you are very obese, then yes to give you the honest no BS answer that you are asking for, then yes it will most likely be significantly less women who would be initially attracted to your appearance. What is your situation?

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Simple question, does the size of a guy and i mean body size, hammper him when he approaches a female?

 

It would depend on the girl, on what she describes as physical attractiveness. Some like thin guys while others go for larger ones. Personally, I'm not attracted to those giant ones with muscles all over their body, eww.

 

 

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It really just depends on the woman. Personally, I don't like very "lean" men. I like my men to be a bit on the chubby side. Kinda like a teddy bear type. I don't like very thin men either. I'm a curvy kinda girl... so my guy needs to be a bit bigger for me to feel comfortable. As for height, I am not really attracted to very tall men... or very short. But hey, I've gone out with a variety of guys... all different shapes and sizes. Can't judge a book by its cover. Its the same way with guys when it comes to girls. Some guys like curvy women... some don't. It depends on the person.

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I don't like that term either.

 

It's true that some like lean, and some like more heavy set, and some women go for a bit more muscular. As with anything, there are some features that probably attract more women, and some that will put off more. Personally I go for the lean guys, but have friends who go for the ones who are a bit more plump.

 

If you are very obese, then yes to give you the honest no BS answer that you are asking for, then yes it will most likely be significantly less women who would be initially attracted to your appearance. What is your situation?

 

Oh im a big guy, not fat, just big, the reason i asked was bcuz when a guy approaches some gal does she see his size and automaticly gets turned off on talking to him? I just wanted to no.

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They used to call me the missing link. Between ape and man, that is. Guys always laugh at it but every girl i have ever been with has seemed to love my bulk. Its not fat its just bone and muscle.

 

But... a lot of women tended to look at me like I just fell out of a tree. In all probability thats likely what they thought happened.

 

In my experience I'd say it depends on the woman.. but i think its more what you say and how your face looks when you say it. I reckon they go on a 50/50 rating system, half physical and half person. But that physical component is a major hurdle.. fail that and no amount of person. is going to help you.

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Oh im a big guy, not fat, just big, the reason i asked was bcuz when a guy approaches some gal does she see his size and automaticly gets turned off on talking to him? I just wanted to no.

 

If you are not unhealthily overweight, then I wouldn't worry as there are plenty of women who like larger men, just as plenty of women like leaner more compact men. I mean the word 'big' can describe a lot of different body types, so I'm not real clear what you mean.

 

I do know that most humans are put off by a person who looks unhealthy, whatever that might be. One example of that could be extreme ends of the weight spectrum.

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Ummm, it works both ways. I'm a very short (5'6") and skinny (125 lbs) guy. No girl has ever dated me and I don't think any girl ever will. Problem is that short and/or thin girls are looking for a big guy to 'protect' them while tall/large girls are again (understandably) looking for a big guy. That leaves guys like me out.

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It depends. If the right words come out of his mouth (cheers to shes2smart) and the right actions follow, a lot of different things can seem attractive.

 

Sex is hugely important to me, so anything that will interfere significantly with that is a downer. Recently met a guy who was just a little too baroque for my preferences. It wasn't a question of =looks= but of endurance and, em, positions and all that. We'd had a lot of fun (met at a seminar) and he acted very interested in further contact, but based purely on my projections of how his body would play out in bed, I shifted into friendly-distant mode and had "run out of business cards." Then again, there were a few small comments he'd made that had put me off. It wasn't really about his body.

 

There are two sides, both true:

- physical connection is important, and people generally have a feel for what will work for them

- "body issues" are never about the body, whether yours or anyone else's.

 

 

I wish there were a male version of "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies" ...

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I'm 6'1 and around 165. I don't gain any weight ( i have a high metabolism) but I play a lot of Tennis. I really don't know if people look at me and think eww he's to skinny or not, never really cared.

 

Different strokes for different folks, or something to that nature haha

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@ 2smart - the book didn't strike me as feminist at all. It just doesn't have examples men could relate to much, I don't think. In general I think men's issues are a bit different.

 

Off-topic, I was thinking about your use of the term "eating disorder" ... my take is that however you eat and relate to food serves some function for you. Getting help and self-comfort, through whatever means, is a sign of strength and will to survive. Freedom came for me when I started to respect the service that food had offered, and was grateful instead of frustrated. When I identified the functions food played, I was able to add options without asking the food-use to go away. Then food became just another method/tool in the box of resources, equal in value to all the others.

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  • 2 weeks later...
If you are not unhealthily overweight, then I wouldn't worry as there are plenty of women who like larger men, just as plenty of women like leaner more compact men. I mean the word 'big' can describe a lot of different body types, so I'm not real clear what you mean.

 

I do know that most humans are put off by a person who looks unhealthy, whatever that might be. One example of that could be extreme ends of the weight spectrum.

 

I dont look unhealthy at all, i jus look like a big guy, i am very healthy and can do anything smaller guys can do, i am a Juggernaut.

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First post...w00t!

 

I don't think that size matters (within certain limits, ends of spectrum excluded) but what I have noticed and gathered from women is that what matters in some way is just the right proportions. For instance "skinny" guys (read: below average) with narrow shoulders will make a good impression if they build up the upper body, whereas large frame guys will look better if they make their hip/stomach area narrower.

I think the same applies to women. If I see two short (i.e. 5' 4") women, one is overall skinny and the other is womanly shapped, meaning proportionally she's attractive just as taller/bigger women then of course I will find the latter more attractive.

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For me, it's not so much about the size of their body, but if their body has a nice, balanced proportion. For example, shoulders that are wider than their waistline, or if they work out, they work out their whole body. I've known guys who work their chest, arms, and abs religiously...and then hardly ever work out their legs. They look very top heavy to me.

 

So yeah, I like a nice proportion.

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