The Ugly Duckling sydrome....

[orangecounty]

Guys, I need some help. I suffer from what some call, the ugly duckling syndrome. All throughout school I was a nerd. Never had that many friends, never hung with the popular crowd, never dated any boys, didn't fix myself up ect....Then I got out of highschool, realized who I was and that it was ok to fix my hair, wear some makeup and dress nicely. I've blossomed since high school and I intellectually know that I'm an attractive girl but I can't seem to really convince myself of it. It's one thing when I look in the mirror but then talking to a guy that I like, I feel as if I'm in school all over again. I know it's a self esteem issue and I don't know what to do about it. How to change this perception of myself. I think it's keeping guys away because I don't have enugh faith in myself.

Not sure what to do about it, any suggestions?

[Sally00]

When I was with guys, I always wondered what they saw in me and why they even liked me. I'm always told I'm very attractive... but I think it's natural to wonder what the other person sees in you. It's just that YOU are so used to YOU. You have been with yourself your whole life and it's hard to imagine seeing yourself through someone else's eyes.

 

You should realize how great a person you are. How fabulous you look, how great a personality you have, etc. The goods that attract guys. Apparently you've got it! Just be thankful for what God gave you and make that bring a smile to your face. A smile brings confidence. And guys like confidence.

[arwen]

I think part of confidence can come from simple matters of taking good care of yourself. Like when you went to highschool and started dressing up. I know how it feels, I have felt like that for a long time. Sports are also really good for your selfconfidence. Physical health can strengthen the mind, so to say.

 

Ilse

[orangecounty]

Sally, nicely said. I never looked at it that way before. Thank-you

Isle, I do take very good care of myself, I'm ok in that department. It's just the inside that needs fixing. I feel like I've done all that I can do physcially. Thanks for your help though, I really appreciate it.