Why?

[Steven1607307306]

What's the purpose of infidelity? Is it the thrill that you're getting away with something, even though you may be hurting the one you love, or the one who loves you? It's one of the most selfish acts one can do. What is the purpose?! I just don't understand...if you're bored with the one you are with, don't play with their emotions, just break up. If you really can't help it, then you need to look at your self in the mirror and think about how much you've wronged the one you are with.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

There is no purpose, really.

 

In my case - many, many counts of infidelity I am guilty of - it was either masochism (depriving myself of a decent relationship) or escapism, or feeling that I was so ugly that I may as well mess up my relationship before my significant other did.

 

Baby, It's A Crazy World

[Steven1607307306]

That's very selfish to mess up your relationship before the other. Why not just break it off peacefully? Immaturity is the main cause of infidelity.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Yeah, I'm a right SOAB.

 

I wouldn't disagree.

[neva_black_n_white]

the person im seeing at the minute cheated on his ex (he's been honest about it, fair enough) .. but i guess it sets a standard you know? as much as id like to say i trust him .. its much harder. it doesnt help that we had a disagreement, split in the heat of the moment (we were only seeing each other at this point.. long story) and within hours he'd kissed someone else

 

but heck, he says it doesnt count. a little quick hmm.

 

(hes amazing.. two peas in a pod we are).. still, it holds me back from saying and doing alot of things.

 

still, everyone deserves a chance

 

i hate excuses though! aghh

[sumguy]

Infidelity annoys me in principle, but never having experiencing it - either end - first hand, only from a distance, it only seems to make things worse. A friend of mine once tried to explain to me why she made out with a guy at a party despite a six month relationship, it went something like this:

 

"In the heat of the moment, when you want him and you know he wants you back just as much, nothing else seems to matter..."

 

I was then told I couldn't possibly comprehend it until I'd experienced it first hand... Still annoys me though... >=/

[yeawutever]

That's very selfish to mess up your relationship before the other. Why not just break it off peacefully? Immaturity is the main cause of infidelity.

 

To go into all the reasons as to why infidelity occurs, it's like going to a phone book. Unfortunately it does happens and no one is saved from it. Some people may find it harder telling the person the truth and directly saying "It's not working let's take a break" and not wanting to hurt their feelings by being honest, they would hide it and go off elsewhere hoping it's gonna get better, when in reality it'll only damage the relation further if the significant other finds out or catches them in the act.

 

You're right about being immature if you had to cheat, that's called "Not taking responsibilities".

[Dako]

Not to excuse it, but having seen too much of it around me, it seems to have many reasons.

Some folks get tired of having sex with the same old person day after day and start wondering about that friendly person at work.

Some have such horrible marriages they truly get lonely for a shred of affection and trade sex for it in a weak moment.

Others are stupid, and think nothing of the risks.

Some are married and discover they're gay.

Some have such poor self-esteem they do it for an ego boost.

Some just do it for a thrill.

 

I never did it because it's just sex. Sex isn't the big thing in life for me.

[Oldboy]

The purpose of infidelty is to cause a lot of people a lot of hurt.

[kittenmoomoo]

Some have such poor self-esteem they do it for an ego boost.

 

Is this really true? Would that mean the person they were originally with gave them poor self esteem? I don't understand cheating, just discovered it happened to me and it's a pain I hope no one ever has to experience.

[Steven1607307306]

It's happened to me as well. The only girl I've ever loved, but I lost any shred of love for her after that. She says she still loves me, but I won't take that risk again. It's up that you can control someone's emotions like that.

[CanILoveAgain]

Cheating is all about control and the underlying principles behind it and the fact that human beings at this point in time are'nt really capable of a healthy life or true love..everyone needs to read the book "The Celestine Prophecy" or see the movie if you are lucky enough to have it playing near you...it will really open your mind as to the source of all human conflict and why we feel and do the things we do and help you be a much better person, trust me on this one, it might change your life forever. link removed

[Oldboy]

Is this really true? Would that mean the person they were originally with gave them poor self esteem? I don't understand cheating, just discovered it happened to me and it's a pain I hope no one ever has to experience.

 

I don't think the person they were with gives them the low self esteem. They usually receive it at childhood from parents who did not nurture them enough. Or from an upbringing/past where the persons emotions would be ignored or even ridiculed.

It the issues of the cheater who cause the cheating mostly. Even in good relationships certain people will cheat. They look for something outside the relationship which that are not getting from their partner. Or at least what they are looking for is percieved by them to be not in the relationship.

But they are all excuses really for inecusable act.