mikeywins21 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Ok I am going crazy right now, I've just gotten out of a divorce and a rebound relationship right after within the last 6 months, After being hurt so much after both of those things happened to me I decided I was just gonna take time for myself and work on me and try and be happy with me before I can get into even dateing. I just want to be alone. So how come when a guy is out there looking for a girlfriend or trying to meet new people Not one girl will give him the time of day. But when he just wants to be alone and single he's got like 5 different girls that are interested in him and want to date him and call him all the time and ask stupid things like "What did you forget how to use a phone" or "I thought we were gonna get together sometime soon" Ugggggggggg It's like girls want something they know they can't have. Am I right???? Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I think it works both ways also, if you act like that with men, they are suddenly interested in you also. I think you're just putting off a "cooler vibe." People don't want anyone who is giving off a desperate or needy "I need a relationship!" vibe. So when you seem to be happy being single, acting like a whole person, you suddenly become very attractive. Anyways, keep it up! Link to comment
mikeywins21 Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 Thanks annie, great advice once again. Yeah I am starting to be really happy with myself, I'm getting much better. Your right tho, girls that act too easy and that are not much of a chalange to get together with are no fun. Link to comment
Beec Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Because when you are not looking, you have no hint of desperation about you. Desperation is to attraction what dumping a bucket of ice on your head is to feeling warm Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Perhaps needy men are not what women want, but it sure seems that being needy and insecure as a woman, is your ticket to having no problem finding a boyfriend! I have seen plenty of desperate and insecure women having absolutely no problems finding a man. Men seem to flock to these women. It is the independent women who would like a man in their life but are not desperate and carry on with their own life, who can't seem to find a man who is interested. Link to comment
Dako Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Anyone looks more interesting as they go about their business. I tend to notice women that are doing things, not bending my ear. Attention creeps me out and raises suspicion. What's her angle? Maybe women have similar ideas. I dunno. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 LOL - it's funny! I came accross an advice column for pet owners. A lady wrote in upset that her cat never paid any attention to her, no matter how much she pet her and bought her toys. The columnist said that for 2 days straight, ignore the cat. Feed it and change the litter box, but do not look at it, say hello, pet it, play with it, ANYTHING! She said within 2 days, the cat will want affection and will come to YOU! Hmm... dating and having cats may have some stuff in common.... Link to comment
Orlander Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I'm just going to ignore you now Annie...for the next 2 days. I seemed to notice women noticing me a lot more when I was with my ex than now. Also, I seem to not be attracted to many women now where as I was always seeing attractive women around when I was with my ex. I think it's just part of the healing process and getting that self esteem back. Orlander Link to comment
Dako Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Orlander, It always amazed me how woman found me dull until I got married, then I was interesting to them, probably because they wondered what my wife saw in me. Funny how that works. Link to comment
Alberto Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I think it works both ways also, if you act like that with men, they are suddenly interested in you also. I think you're just putting off a "cooler vibe." People don't want anyone who is giving off a desperate or needy "I need a relationship!" vibe. So when you seem to be happy being single, acting like a whole person, you suddenly become very attractive. Anyways, keep it up! that was AWESOME advice. Link to comment
Juha Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Exactly right... Been single and out looking for someone and nothing happens... Have met some but nothing I am interested in and when I am interested they are not...Such is life, I guess... So I quit for now...When I was dating women came up to me to talk now no one approaches... SO I go out and don't even look at women, just hang with my friends... Think I am quitting dating for a little bit.... Really am sick of it...Don't want to just hook up anymore either... Link to comment
mikeywins21 Posted August 1, 2006 Author Share Posted August 1, 2006 Yeah it's crazy, I don't know I am all about making new friends or hanging out with old ones but it's just weird how much attation I'm getting when I don't even want it. Don't get me wrong it's nice to know that someone likes me and makes me feel good to know that maybe my ex was just crazy and that there really is nothing wrong with me but at the same time I'm scared to get into anything right now at all. Just don't want to get hurt again. Link to comment
mikeywins21 Posted August 1, 2006 Author Share Posted August 1, 2006 Ok well I let one of the girls that "wants to get to know me better" talk me into going out tonight, She's getting ready as we speek and she even broke plans with her friend to see me. I mentioned we go to our friend Sal's new Italian Resturant that he just opened up not to long ago, She was like "Yeah we can do that and maybe a movie or something, we'll figure that out later on" so now I'm thinkin "Dinner and a movie??? sounds like a Date to me." I really didn't want it to be like a date but oh well. Link to comment
Beec Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Have a let's wait and see attitude, and don't treat it like a date. Be nice, but don't show sexual interest. Do listen to her attentively. Link to comment
mikeywins21 Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 So much for that, We had a great night, found out we had alot in common and stuff, Both been through alot in the last year now so we are both scared and kinda tryin to figure out where the other one stands, I think she likes me alot tho cuz I went in to kiss her on her cheek just to be sweet and she started makin out with me. And that went on for a few more times durning the night, But that was it. I guess it's not that bad to just kiss someone on the first date. Anyway We'll see what happens. I basically told her when she said "I don't want to go any further until I know where your at right now" I just said "well I just don't want to get hurt again" she understood. We have plans again tonight to hang out so Like I said we'll see~ Anyway we've both decided that 98% of our past relationships have gone bad due to rushing in to fast so if anything does come out of this we are going to take it VERY VERY slow. Link to comment
charley Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 thereforeeee, when you try less, or not at all, sometimes you are more attractive, or at least safer, which is attractive to many women. That's my theory. I think that to much effort chasing someone can scare them. To little effort can discourage them. Also, some women like shy guys, which is another way of saying a guy who doesn't try to hard. I don't know for sure. I'm just guessing. I've experienced the same thing you describe. I've found to much effort ruins things. To little prevents things from starting. Just a little effort, or at least friendliness, seems to be best in the beginning. At least for me when I think back on successes vs. failures. Link to comment
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