So What Would You Do If You Found Out Your Other Half Was Cheating?

[Oldboy]

Let her get on with it. There is nobody better than me for her. Tough. She married me for a reason and she'll remember that reason in time. And then... Tough.

[coollady1957]

I have been cheated on. When I found out the first time he did it I had a huge fit and made him explain his actions to me. He was a smooth talker and I fell for his promises to change. He may have changed for a while, but I think he started up his cheating again way before I knew it the second time.

 

I thought I had done the right thing by forgiving him and trying to move on with him when he first cheated. Boy was I wrong !! I should have stuck to my beliefs that cheating is a deal breaker and unexcusable the first time. But I didn't and that is all hindsight now. I certainly learned a lesson.

 

The next time that I found out he was cheating again for the second time, I remained calm and contemplated my next action. At this time he did not know that I knew he had cheated again. I acted as though I knew nothing.

 

The day after that, I found out that he had went out and cheated on me a again, for the second time in two days. My intent already was to break up with him and kick his butt to the curb when I found out he fell through on his promise to have never cheated on me again. I just had to get the support and courage to do that, and I found that here on ENA.

 

When I did confront him the evening after I found he had cheated twice in two days, I let loose on him and told him everything I thought about him in some very choice words that cannot be written here. He was stunned and walked out. I told him I would contact him when I had time to think about some things. With the support I received here on ENA, I got the courage to go through with the final break up.

 

I had my brothers follow me to a public location where I asked him to meet me, at which time, I let loose again on him verbally, with those unrepeatable words that I cannot type here.

 

With all the madness, anger and hurt that I was feeling, I did have the feeling inside that I wished I could choke the hell out of him. That was just one of those moments of pure hate and anger inside me. I would have never attempted such a thing, as it was just a fleeting momentary thought.

 

I am one of the believers of " what goes around, comes around", or that

" you reap what you sow". He has already gotten what was coming to him for being such a jerk and liar. And none of it was at my hands. It is like he now has this bad "aura" around him and everything he does or touches.

[Q10]

Yup! I agree with you The girl that I've been going out for a couple of months has just cheated on me (just found out 2/3 days ago), but I really don't care right now.. I just don't feel like talking to her, and that's it She's lost me But she doesn't know I found out that so I'm just trying to decide what to do, I think I might just call it quits without telling her any reasons.

[Oldboy]

You may regret not giving her a piece of your mind at a later date. Mind you it would be worth it so that at a later date she askes you what you dumped her for and you can watch her squirm as she tries to decide whether or not to lie her way out of it.

[_Ramirez_]

Topic title says it all. Personally I'd kill her. But I'm a bit mentally twisted.

 

But what would be your reaction?

 

I believe I would do nothing at first. It is important to think rationnaly when this kind of problems come into your life. I would sat down alone, and think hard...

 

I believe I would carefully prepare myself (financially, physically and emotionally) to dump my wife and then I would let the bomb explode...

 

Something like:

Hi honey, my bags are packed and I am going to sleep at my new appartment tonight, sign those papers please it's for the custody of the kids, I'll talk to you later about this little affair of yours... I hope you new bf will be very supportive... Have fun...

[Majoraslayer]

This guy bursts into his house and shouts, "Pack your bags, Honey, I just won the lottery!"

 

She says, "That's wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"

 

 

 

He replies, "I don't care-just get the hell out!"

[justwannaknow]

it happen 2 me and your in total shock. you want 2 beat that ----- up but she was willing to tell me everything so i went to the bar with her so i could find out everything. well they r both big loser and i will never 4give them

[Mike_Wazowski]

Since I cheated on my wife(long story, but I broke it off) I sometimes think she may be cheating on me......if I were to find out that she was, well..I'd be dissappointed. The marriage would also be over I guess....But really, who really knows what they would do until they are confronted with it......

[Juliana]

Oh, yeah, kill her. That'll make her sorry. "Gee whiz, how could I have cheated on this wonderful man who only wants to murder me because I hurt him?? What a cow I am." Yeah, I hear that all the time.

 

What would I do? I would leave. What else is there? You leave, you move on, you say "sayanora baby, you were a big waste of time."

[New_Horizons]

I would leave. Period. The only exception is if we had a young kid who wasn't old enough to choose the parent s/he wants to stay with, in which case I would wait till the kid is old enough. Divorce courts are way too feminist.

[yeawutever]

The only exception is if we had a young kid who wasn't old enough to choose the parent s/he wants to stay with, in which case I would wait till the kid is old enough. Divorce courts are way too feminist.

 

Kids can perceive when there isn't a functional relation b/w their parents, they're not stupid. Just staying for the sole reason, for the kids' sake (and not b/c you really wanna work it out) in a way is being selfish.

[New_Horizons]

Kids can perceive when there isn't a functional relation b/w their parents, they're not stupid. Just staying for the sole reason, for the kids' sake (and not b/c you really wanna work it out) in a way is being selfish.

 

That's not the point. Courts don't listen to the kid's opinion until he or she is at a certain age (I think it's 12 or 13 but varies). Don't you think it's selfish to dissolve the marriage (which *inevitably* leads to the kid staying with the mother whether he or she wants it or not)? How is it selfish to keep the marriage for the kid's sake? Who am I being selfish to, apart from myself? If my kid wants to stay with me, well that saves him from the courts forcing him to stay with his mom. If my kid wants to stay with mom, then of course I would divorce. Of course my wife doesn't deserve a say in all this since she started the whole thing. LOL, all this is hypothetical of course.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

it's normal to be angry, but NOT normal to kill them... if you're serious about that, then get some counseling, if it is a fantasy because you are enraged, then better to walk away and find someone you love so much you couldn't think about living without them, let alone killing them. her cheating on you is not a reflection of *your* worthiness, it is a reflection of her own feelings/issues/whatever. so don't ever take it as some need to injure her to maintain your own ego or self worth... if you hate her that much, walk away, see ya, etc. find a better woman and let HER experience living without you.

[JulieW]

I've been cheated on many times in varying degrees. I used to think that there was no going back.

 

Now honestly, having fallen for someone else while married to my husband, I can see a difference in cheating.

 

I could have forgiven myself and moved on if it was just physical and dealt with the issue.

 

What I could not/would not forgive myself for was caring for this man so deeply while married. It showed me how unhappy I was in my marriage in the first place.

 

Same rules would now apply to any partner I have. I wouldn't allow our relationship to get to the point of such an emotional detachment.

 

I've left my husband.

[Sweet_e_pea]

I recently learned my wife of 10 years cheated on me this year -- in more ways than I would have ever imagined. And, I'm trying to work through it.

 

But, deep down, I think it's over. Not that I don't love her, and not that she doesn't love me. But because I don't think I can forgive or forget.

 

Here's an addendum question: If I do leave, and I'm still bitter, should I tell her friends about my reason so they don't think I'm some deadbeat or something? (Though, I think I'd really be doing it just to spite and humiliate her.)

[Rabican]

Pile her stuff outside the door and change the locks.

[BigSyke]

ive been cheated on, in every single relationship ive had. over 20. Not that theres something wrong with me, im probably the perfect husband or boyfriend. Its the girls.

 

The 1st couple times i found out about my girlfriends cheating, I got revenge, hard. But then it kept happening with other girls. Our relationship was perfect, but then they CHEAT! HOW! just little things like at a party with 2 guys or something. However these are just minor things, yes I was attached, but not married or anything.

 

Now this relationship im in,(pretty much done) is the worst. I bought a house with this girl 2 months after i met her. Rich blond supermodel, and super smart and cool. I became attached to the hip of her, attached to her blood. Never spent a day apart it seems, except when she flew down to cali to meet guys she met off myspace. Pictures she would then post up on her myspace account. Saying on one picture, this is my future husband, weve been together for 2 years and are getting married in may. Next picture, this is ryan, so good in bed, just met him too isnt he hot?

 

I have become more aggresive now. I do not care about her, i rely on her, but do not care if she gets hit by a vehicle like a hummer. We are best friends, in fact shes my only friend now, the only person I know. But finding photos of a maxim model sleeping with a 580lbs guy in bed rest is heartbreaking, this is not the worst.. I became violent and crazy now. we have gotten into fights where she would be drunk!!!! and me driving her home she was stab me with a pen saying "I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH EVERYBODY! DROP ME OFF SO I CAN HAVE SEXY TIME WITH THAT GUY RIGHT THERE, NO HOW BOUT HIM DRIVING THE RED TRUCK! HOW BOUT THAT GAS STATION WORKER! I WANT SEX FROM EVERY GUY! NOW!"

 

that is just random drunk talk from the girl who is known to run down the highway naked i guess, and have sex with any guy who pulls over to ask if she needs help. After getting stabbed in the ribcage from her, oh yes, i did break her nose, and arm in 2 places.

 

This was my relationship with a girl who i found out was a myspace prostitute, waste of my life, and i feel i can never get my prime years of 21-23 back. I am now a lost soul.

 

 

For all the guys out there, please dont put up with a cheating girl, yes im going to say it, girls will cheat more than guys, because al they have to do is ask them if they want it, answer is always yes.

 

 

oh and to edit the post up a bid;

 

words of advice to alot of guys.. I have gotten around alot in my life. I was the popular guy in highschool and college. Those years were bad, why? i have witnessed alot of stuff that has destroyed my life. Cheating girls is one of them. I have seen good girls with boyfriends do things not even a vegas call girl would do for a whole casino. I have seen 30+ guys sleep with a "loyal" housewife of 10 to their husband with 4 children (in one night). I have seen everygirl ive ever known have sex with random people. Just random. I have seen good girls too, and i advance. they end up trying to sleep with me and my friends at the same time at a party. The advice? do not let your self get attached to a girl partys, that goes clubbing, that drinks. These are the types of girls who just sleep with guys because their cute, or because they drive a mercedes.

 

Ive heard my girlfriend has done things so twisted and crazy, that they could never pay any kinda adult entertainer enough money to do, she has done it, like sleeping with 1/2 of the car dealership because they sell BMW's. She goes in with me, checks out a new x5 bmw, gets a guys card. Calls back later saying "hey, im going to come back in there after hours, you can get as many guys as you'd like, ill do anything" -tells me shes going shopping and BAM, they have a photoshoot and burn it on a DVD. I find the DVD later on....thats life, my life.

 

 

So where are the good housewife type women? Im still looking, but its funny, quite funny remembering my whole life.....the things ive seen. Watch out people.

[jengh]

I don't know what I'd do... if he came to me and told me, I might CONSIDER giving him a second chance. But on the other hand, I don't know if I could look past it. Whenever I'd be with him, I think that might be ALL I could think about. Him holding another woman, him kissing another woman, him being intimate with another woman, etc... I think my jealousy would get the best of me and make it unable for me to move on completely.

[jengh]

BigSyke: Wow....just....wow.....if all of that is true, I don't know how you managed to get through that...

[BigSyke]

are you kidding guys? 1 billion people out there and you would put yourself through what i go through? IVE ALMOST DIED 2wice because a cheating girlfriend/prostitute! and i didnt find out she was like this until 9 months into the relationsship. Might seem innocent, but you need to check up on them, F trust now because u give it to the wrong person...-they will break it.

 

 

oh and shes cheating right now, im on the phone with her, shes having sex. haha

[BigSyke]

yes, all true and im making a documentary, its gonna be good. steven speilberg good