Trying to cope with ex-gf's pets

[Farami]

So... my bf's ex left behind 6 cats in the apartment when they broke up and the apartment is too small to keep these cats. (Legally, the apt only allows 3 cats.) All of them are adult cats. They have been with him and her for the past 10 years odd. The ex moved to another state and she currently has no means to put in her share of caring for her pets. Hence they are left with my bf.

 

So now comes the problem. When I am staying over at his place for the weekend or vacation, I am getting frustrated trying to clean the house all the time with the cats making a mess everytime I clear something. Like a great quantity of hair on the couch, on the bed, poop in the bathroom and one even pooped and peed on my bed in his place. They get hyper at night and often send things crashing all over in the kitchen. As I am a light sleeper, the noise often wakes me up 2-3 times every night.

 

It really drove me crazy. I think the apartment is way too small for the animals and he doesn't want to give them away since they have been with him for so long.

 

I can't shake off the feeling that they belong to the ex-gf and here I am trying to deal with the responsibility she left behind. I am not a really great animal lover but I don't mind the animals if they belong to me...sort of...since I have two bunnies at my own place.

 

He has asked me to move in with him long-term but when I brought up the issue of the cats, he told me I just have to deal with it and accept that they are here to stay. But everytime I think of the crazy amount of hair I clean everyday, the poop and the noise I suffer at night, I don't know what to do. I will be happy if he gives away 5 of them and just keeps one cat. I can deal with 2 cats even but not 6. But that was suggested and he said he won't do it at all since the shelter will put them to sleep and no one will adopt them since they are old cats.

 

I would love some advise. Somehow I do feel that my dislike for the cat situation is largely due to that they belong too to the ex-gf and it's a big link for her to jump back at my bf. In fact, they are still in contact because of these animals. And then its the hygiene issue with too many cats. Anyone can help?

[Tigris]

You mention you've got a place of your own. Get him to come and stay at your place. Plus if you taught him a lesson by leaving all the mess for him to clean up then he wouldn't be so eager to keep all of them.

 

If it's rented accommodation he lives in you could always let his landlord/lady know. I know this is devious but it's another idea.

 

There's got to be a Cats Protection League or something like that which won't put them to sleep. Try looking in the phone book.

 

Good luck

[robowarrior]

Six cats is a LOT, and you two could share the responsiblity in cleaning up, instead of just you alone cleaning up the mess. Get kitty litter boxes, and put one in the bathroom so that if it happens it will be easy cleaning for you. If he has the cats for 10 years , then all of them are 'old' cats. Meaning that within 8 years most of the cats will be at the end of their language , and if one of the cats decease refuse that he'd would take another one. Pursuede him to make contact with his ex about the cats, and to tell her to take at least 2 cats under her custody. That would reduce the amount of cats to 4, which is still a lot, but try to send her the most noisy cats.

 

And wear earplugs at night when you are going to sleep. Also cats become really noisy and loud if they don't get enough time to play outside. If they are constantly inside the house, they get bored and will get frustrated. A cat that's really exhausted won't get hyper at night.

 

The cleaning isn't nice, however you might consider to get towels and put them over the places where the cats are asleep, so you can easily remove them and clean them. If your bf complains about that, tell him that he can clean up the cat mess then he'll most likely agree to it then and you'll be able to get a more copable situation in the living room.

[Farami]

Hi, thanks for the replies.

 

There's 4 kitty boxes in the apartment. And still that's not enough and if we are out for the whole day and the boxes are not cleaned, the cats start pooping everywhere else.

 

@robowarrior, you mean paper or cloth towels? I've tried putting large beach towels on the couch when I'm not useing it so I have less cat-hair there now. I would ask if she can take 2 of her pets back but apparently her situation is pretty poor. She's renting a place that disallows animals.

 

The animals are indoor cats. They aren't let out at all. So I guess that's why there's all the jumping and craziness in the kitchen.

 

To think about it, 8 years is going to be a tough time. (apologies to you cat lovers )

[annie24]

oh ewwwwwww.....

 

I am a huge animal lover, but 6 cats is really out of control. that sounds very stinky and gross! on top of that, I have bad allergies, so my relationship with such a man would have been over long ago. yup.

 

anyways, ew. I used to have the "littermaid 900" which was a self-cleaning little box. It was about $100 and worth every penny. it severly cut down on smells and my cat liked it too.

 

what you are describing to me sounds like a health hazard. it's not safe or hygenic to have cat hair and feces all over the place.

 

I don't know - I wouldn't stay in this relationship if I were you, but that is just me.

 

I think he should give away 4 of the cats, keep 2, that is it. the rest go to friends or to a no-kill shelter. there must be one somewhere in new england. just look around.

 

again, I say this all as a huge animal lover.

[coollady1957]

It does seem like a lot of cats for such a small place. I have been told that you need one litter box per cat for every cat that stays indoors. That would mean you need 6 boxes to help with the litter problem.

 

I have five cats, but only two of them are indoors all of the time. The rest of mine are outdoor and sometimes inside on occasion. I have a big house though , so even when all my cats are indoors it doesnt present a problem.

 

I can understand his not wanting to get rid of them becuase it is easy to get attached to them. However, I also understand the frustration that you must be having with it.

 

Does he have any friends or family that could take some of the cats until a good home is found for them?

[FoxLocke]

Cats a really territorial, so I believe the kitties might see you as a threat since you just came into their lives...Furthermore, since the space is so confined they might be fighting each other for supremacy of the house. That would probably explain all the loud noise at night.

 

An apartment is TOO small for six cats. Especially when it only allows three. If it were a bigger house it would work...But six? No, it is time to send three of them to the shelter.

 

Where I live there are no NO KILL shelters, which sucks...But what do you do when you have several cats that you can't live with?

 

I really do love animals(especially cats), but your mate needs to do what is best for the relationship. He is attached to the cats...But you have to force yourself to let go.

 

I had to take my dog to the shelter because I couldn't care for him anymore, and I was a mess for 3 months. But, ultimately, I did the right thing.

[Jennster]

I've had a friend in a similar situation. This guy has had these cats for 10 years? That's a long time...I've had my dog that long...and she is my BABY. Does he love these cats that much? It sounds like that to me. I think it's kind of unfair to ask him to get rid of the cats...you know the stakes going into this. What if he were get rid of the half the cats and you move in...and then things don't work out? He's just given up 3 of his loved ones for a relationship that did not last.