he abused me ..my feelings and my body ! help

[z9z]

hmmm i dont know from where to start or what to say but it seemed black to me to talk to anyone i traveled to an

arabic country it was a weird life and i had no one beside me to help me .... i used the internet to make relations .

 

 

there then a guy came into my life i wasnt interested i thought he is aloser but then

i got to know new people in my school and he tried to be there and he kept on calling me and sending me over 1year

.. then i started meeting him as a friend he was very good to me he started to attract me in a weird way day after

day i was in deep love with him he was a very jealous guy i stopped talking to all the guys around me he made me

stop going to school univ and even my friends for more than 7monthes he was the most romantic and cute guy my eyes

ever saw i was ready to die for him ..

 

we started going out and in his car he used to do weird stuff like touching

me kissing me .. he even made me nearly take off my clothes everytime we go out in his car we never got caught he

told me that he'll marry me and we'll continue life together but then he started to change and act normal only when

we go out of course to touch me and play in my body .

 

 

.he sucked everywhere in my body !! i was shocked but i was

about to even lose my virgina for him ,,, i kept on asking him about his X he said he doesnt talk to girls at all but

when he started to change like stopped calling and sending i kept on runnin after him and it turnd around after he

used 2 call me it turned around on me in all our fights i used to call him and go back to him... we ran out of time

and i had to come back to my country and he had to stay there for univ though he is from the same country like

me ..

 

1 day i was on the net waittin for him my tears in my eyes a girl added me and she said that she is his gf for

4month i was shocked i sent him he didnt answer me and he treated me in a very bad way ..then days ran i 4gave

him and we went on his mood 1 day good 10days now ..i used to sit and cry 4 hours i couldnt stop cryin or thinkin

of him ..or our dreams and our life god i had alot of dreams with him i never felt like this before but i went to

him in holiday it wasnt a holiday i just skipped everything for him we started going out again and i forgot about

that girl..

 

1 days i was sleeping on his lap i heard his mobile a girl talking i told him his mobile was on silent !! he

made up a story i took her number i called her i got to know its his gf for 8 years !!!!!!!! 8years even before me i

couldnt believe it and he felt that i'll go he started to be the old person and he cried over me alot and tryed

callin me alot but i h\came my country back with all the bad memories and broken ! after all this i went back to

him but i know he is cheattin on me but i cant stop myself from sendin him and callin him ..i guess he knew that

am weak soo he went back to old i dont know what to do ..

 

i am holding myself for 3weeks nearly i didnt send him

or call but i love him i cant stop thinkin of him i really dont know what to do !! am lonely without him ,,, is it bad

that he touched me am and sucked sensitive parts in my body ..

 

is my family going to know ?? is he going to come

back 1 day? he didnt send me or bother callin to see am ok last chattin between us he told me if you are the last

girl i wont urs ..i am confused i need help

[lunatic]

Welcome to EnotAlone.com!

 

Could you please break your post into paragraphs. You will find you will get more responses from members if you do. Thank you!

[Meow18]

This guy took advantage of you. He was a jerk. He doesn't deserve you. You deserve so much better.

 

It's going to hurt for awhile. But I suggest not trying to communicate with him, and ignore him if he tries to talk to you. This will only help.

 

If he one day does come back, he's only going to leave again. He's done this enough times in the past.. and you shouldn't let him do that to you anymore.

 

You can tell your family if you choose to. Sometimes it's nice having someone to talk to. You don't have to give them all the details if you don't want to.

[yeawutever]

The guy you are describing now is a total loser. If your gut instinct was telling way back something was not right and that he was a jerk, then you should have pay attention to it and try to inventigate about his past before getting involve so quickly.

Honestly he did not abuse because you never say "No" or "Stop it enough is enough", so he's not really to blame when you didn't speak up.

What you can do now is throw him to the curb for good, why would you want to be with a serial cheater and liar?? Relations are based on trust and honesty and you if those components are missing, then there's nothing, it's like red spaghetti without the red sauce.

[agent1607307371]

Honestly he did not abuse because you never say "No" or "Stop it enough is enough", so he's not really to blame when you didn't speak up.

 

What he did was abuse Ailec, he took advantage of her feeling for him to pressure her into acts she was not ready for. Don't blame the victim, blame the abuser.

 

 

z9z, it was wrong that he pressured you into these things, but the acts of themselves in a healthy relationship are not.

 

Your family won't know unless you tell them and that is your choice.

 

I doubt this guy will come back to you, unless of course he gets bored with one of his girlfriends. But I think you have had a lucky escape from him.

 

Remember, not all men are like this one and there are lots of good decent men out there who will treat you with the kindness and respect you deserve.

[yeawutever]

What he did was abuse Ailec, he took advantage of her feeling for him to pressure her into acts she was not ready for. Don't blame the victim, blame the abuser.

 

 

z9z, it was wrong that he pressured you into these things, but the acts of themselves in a healthy relationship are not.

 

Took advantage and treated her liek crap yes, but it still does NOT constitutes as rape nor sexual abuse. It a difference when a guy does the deed with you and you do nothing nor say anything then if he were to do it with you and you do say "No" but he still goes on.

Yes do agree she needs to not contact him at all ever again and if he does, to ignore him.

[z9z]

ohhhhh my god your respond made me feel better i was destroyed you dont know i just cant stop thinking of him ... but i guess i have to move on and thank god it came to this only and he didnt do sth bigger .. i was weak infront of him i still love him to death.i was scared someone knows that a guy did this with me specially that my family so strict and they would kill me if i just talk 2 a guy. thank u again

[z9z]

agent .... i meant those words to you

[yeawutever]

Anytime you need help come here, let us know how it goes once you go to counseling and keep straight with NC (no contact) with him.

[flower99]

Oh sweetie I'm sorry for what he has done & the way he took advantage of you.

Please promise us something, to protect yourself next time.

NEVER GIVE IN TO PRESSURE TO DO SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO. this is YOUR body, if you don't feel safe & comfortable. SAY NO!

You feel violated, and that's not right, but for the man to stop, you have to speak up.

Please don't let someone make you feel this way again. Protect yourself & don't give into pressure. A lot of men will pressure you in time, but if you say you aren't ready, speak up, they have to listen.

 

But yeah, your family won't know unless you tell him. And hopefully you will never see him again. If so kick him to the curb. You deserve much better for yourself. And there is much better out there for you.

don't ever settle.

[z9z]

u guys i really do love him i admit i was kind of happy when he does this stuff but at the same time when its over average it scares you plus my family played a big roll and thank god they did so, sooo i wont sleep with him or sth and they get to know after that i was gonna be in a real deep * * * * but am still dont feel good i dont know why i want him back the way he made me feel my god he was everything to me

[Momene]

I'm afraid he's a player, pure and simple. Spend your life with someone with more morals, or even alone is better than this.

[blender]

All the feelings you are having are normal, yes it felt nice when he would touch you, you are human, and you are a girl and that is the way we are made, BUT, this is NOT love, it's just your first emotional and physical encounter with a guy and you are putting all your emotions into one basket... and you are hurting, but that's okay, sometimes in life we just have to be "sad" for a bit, and we learn so much from it.

 

You are feeling quilty about sharing your body because of the way your family believes and that is okay, so now you are feeling if you can "hold on to him or stay with him" then the "touching" would have been okay to do.. but the FACT is, it's still okay that you had this "physical experience" but NOW you know what if feels like AFTERWARDS, when you and the guy are NOT a REAL, honest, healthy, loving, mature couple.

 

So thank god you have learned this lesson and know that you can now take this god given gift of learning about yourself, both physically and emotionally and remember that in the future you will meet a kind, honest, loving, sincere, worthy man who you can share you heart and body with, but until then, STAY AWAY from this guy..

 

It will make you sad for awhile, but sometimes the RIGHT thing to do is the hardest, HE IS NOT thee one for you, he was a "lesson" so choose to learn from this, cry your eyes out, feel sad, and know that these feelings will pass in time. But this guy in NOT who you should be involved with anymore....

 

Learn, grow, forgive yourself and move on, the best is right ahead of you, not behind you... don't look back, look ahead and become someone YOU yourself would admire.. you're just growing up and learning, that's all.... I'm sorry you miss him, but I think maybe you miss who you "hoped" he would be and not who he actually has turned out to be.....

[z9z]

maybe yeaaa you are right about all what you said blender am not feelin well at all .... but because i dont have da excperience am scared my parents find out 1 day a guy touched me ...u guys you dont know how it is killing me i was a kid and i turned out to look like * * * * infront of my friends and every1 ..a girl when she loses her virginaaa her family know but what about kissin and touchin and the stuff i said he did with me?

[Momene]

maybe yeaaa you are right about all what you said blender am not feelin well at all .... but because i dont have da excperience am scared my parents find out 1 day a guy touched me ...u guys you dont know how it is killing me i was a kid and i turned out to look like * * * * infront of my friends and every1 ..a girl when she loses her virginaaa her family know but what about kissin and touchin and the stuff i said he did with me?

 

We all have to accept, reluctantly, that many (most) of us have been taken in by people whose intentions are less than honourable. You are not a bad person, as you loved him. You don't have to tell anything to your parents or anyone else. You feel bad because you feel used and angry with yourself for not spotting what he was really like. People much older than you make mistakes in relationships, although fortunately most of us don't repeat past mistakes.

 

In time you will move on from this and find someone who is more genuine but you may need to kiss a few frogs before the prince comes. It's life, I'm afraid.