drum4god Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 I am going through a lot with my girlfriend right now. For all the details you can look at my "I love you, but not in love with you post" in the Love section. We always look at the relationships from our point of view, but I know she is going through alot. I could be wrong, but if my girlfriend were to vent here I think she would write something like this. I have this guy who is madly in love with me, but I don't feel the same way. At times I have, I am attracted to him, but I don't know I can't seem to give him my whole heart. I love him, and care for him, but I am not sure if he is the one. He is very expressive with his emotions and it scares me. I know he wants to get married, but I just don't know. At times I can see it, and then other times I say "No way". I am also independent and don't want to be tied down. He has been so good too me, and my family, and I feel if I let him go, I might regret it. I know I hurt him, and it kills me, but I don't know what to do. What do you feel your ex's or current gf/bf would say if they posted here. Link to comment
Netguy Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Ive spent the better part of a year wondering this exact thing. Link to comment
Dako Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 If my ex came here, she'd say she was tired of being married and that she likes me. We're still friends. She'd also tell me I use commas too much. so here!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Link to comment
Beyondthesea Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 What do you feel your ex's or current gf/bf would say if they posted here. He would say "My ex was psycho and it's all her fault we broke up. It's all her fault I abused her because she wouldn't do what I wanted her to do. It's all my family's fault I abused her because they abused me. It's all someone else's fault." Yep, that sums it up. Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 He would of said, way back long ago.... "Sometimes when you are riding along in the forest, you find two paths, and not both bikes can go down it at the same time, so you diverge...and you don't know if you meet again. Maybe you will, maybe you won't....but there is a CHANCE". Yes, he gave me lines like that. He had a bit of an "ego" which I only truly realized the depth of after it ended. I am sure now he would say that he does not regret the decision, is happy I am doing well, and so on. We have really limited contact now but I am grateful he dumped me. Link to comment
Entomon Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 He'll probably say- She's a psychotic maniac with a passion for ruining my pride and ego. Why do you think I took down my online dating profiles after hers went up and I changed my phone number after she called begging me to go and see her before she left for the summer? She was stalking me. Yah, she just doesn't get it that when I said "I don't hate you", I really meant the opposite. Good riddance! Link to comment
HangingInThere Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 maybe that is all what you guys want to hear! (everthing that you are posting) Only god knows what my ex would say! Link to comment
Pikey1972 Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 "Blimey, seven months and you're STILL not over me?" followed by: "You're too sensitive for your own good". (my ex was not a particularly sensitive soul) Link to comment
now_better Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 "i stopped loving you a while ago, but i kept hoping you would change, that one day you would be the person i want you to be. that you would always be there when i need you, always make me feel like i'm the most important thing in your life, that i could always rely on you. but i gave you so many chances and you kept disappointing me. i know you love me very much and that you're this good, simple person. but not the one. when you pushed so hard at the end, it made it certain that i just didn't feel about the same way anymore. i do want to be your friend though because you always make me laugh and happy, and I can talk to you about anything." this is so painful to write because it makes you feel like you could have been better, should have been better. what you wouldn't do for another chance in life... but people change, she doesn't understand that. under traumatic stress, people bend, people break, and either they come back broken or they come back stronger. i've been broken so many times in the last 2 months, but you refocus that energy. and some of that is misguided because secretly, you're hoping that when you meet later in life, that she'll be surprised by the new you and life will be different. wishful thinking... and nc continues Link to comment
shes2smart Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 What my ex might say....hmmm...I haven't had any contact with him in 5 years, but it might go a little like this: "Well, I don't know why she left. Only thing I can think is that she's insecure. I was only chatting with those women online. Well, ok, I did meet one or two of them, but it was just for coffee, I swear. I don't think it matters that we were chatting at (adult-friend-finder-type-site) at all. I work at home and don't have any co-workers to talk to during the day, and she just didn't understand that. I don't get why she broke up with me over that chat she saw...I mean it was (adult-friend-finder-type-site)...everyone there chats about all kinds of sexual fantasies. (woman's screen name from adult-friend-finder-type-site) is a really nice gal...we were just continuing our conversation from when I met her for lunch a few days earlier. I didn't tell (me) about my lunch date with (woman's screen name from adult-friend-finder-type-site) because I knew she'd be upset about it...and look, I was right because she dumped me when she did find out." Link to comment
doyle Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 "I have this guy who is madly in love with me, but I don't feel the same way. At times I have, I am attracted to him, but I don't know I can't seem to give him my whole heart. I love him, and care for him, but I am not sure if he is the one. He is very expressive with his emotions and it scares me. I know he wants to get married, but I just don't know. At times I can see it, and then other times I say "No way". I am also independent and don't want to be tied down. He has been so good too me, and my family, and I feel if I let him go, I might regret it. I know I hurt him, and it kills me, but I don't know what to do." holy crap!! are you dating my Ex? that was scary, i think all that stuff comes in a handbook some place....! haha, i swear that is exactly what happened to me!!! Link to comment
Oldboy Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 I can't remember what bull * * * * reason I gave for leaving you last time you asked. Help me out here.... Have I used this one yet: You were.....etc Link to comment
drum4god Posted June 29, 2006 Author Share Posted June 29, 2006 Sorry to hear that dude. At least you are out of it, I am still in this mess, and it torture. For the deatails you can read my Thread "She loves me, but is not in love with me" In the love section. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 God, that's funny to me how people justify their behaviors. My guess is he wouldn't even tell this story. He'd probably leave that detail out and say you were nuts, simply because convenience is a motto. You're probably right...he wouldn't be caught dead at a website like this. That is pretty much how it went down when I caught him. First it was "just chatting" then "I met one or two for coffee"..."ok, it was lunch"..."ok, it may have been more than lunch because that's the one you saw me having cyber sex with." I still don't know for sure what-all "lunch" involved, but I have my suspicions. (Somehow, I don't think folks posting on (adult-friend-finder-type-site) are looking for just lunch...call me crazy, but it's just a feeling I have.) But, if I hadn't left when I did, I wouldn't have been single and available when my husband happened along. Everything happens for a reason. Link to comment
need2bme Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 I think my ex would say: I love him and he has a good heart. I can talk to him about what is bothering me, but when he calls, I feel uncomfortable. He took care of me when I needed him. I told him I never wanted to worry about money with him, but I did. He started to worry about way too much and forgot about me. He did not seem as loving as before. In his defense, I really did not treat him well either. Since I could not figure out what I needed to do and I needed a fresh start, I broke up with him and told him that I just need to start saying NO, even to my family. I will probably call him from time to time, but the minute we start getting close, I will push him away. Link to comment
doyle Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 drum4god: "Sorry to hear that dude. At least you are out of it, I am still in this mess, and it torture. For the deatails you can read my Thread "She loves me, but is not in love with me" In the love section." trust me i am not out of it, however it did make me smile because i know where you are at....the sad part of my situation is that i came home, told her that i loved her but i did not know if i was in love with her...she later stated to me that, that one conversation is what made her leave or start the process of leaving... so let me give some perspective on what was going on with me...I was having an internal dialoge with myself and being a very open person (dumb at times) i said those words to her out loud....for the following month, my actions were very strong towards her my affection increased, because what had happened was that i finally figured out that i was totally in love with her but i never told her, so that entire time she was giving up on me, and my feelings were growing stronger....well you know the rest of the story...she left me and now i am in a world of pain! so if i can pass on anything, communicate, communicate, communicate! I do not know if this leaves more questions for you or not....i am sorry that i ever said those words.... Link to comment
bebecole Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 wow this is something ive never thought of before and its giving me some light.. maybe ill acually sit down and write what i think he would say and ill post later.. this may need sometime to figure out b/c hes crazy and im not to sure of what he would say. but thanks for the insight and giving me another way to look at his perspective. Link to comment
bebecole Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 heres what i think he would say if he posted here.. Nicole is a emotional mess. She is immature and doesn’t open up to me at all. She holds back on everything. And she doesn’t care about how I feel. She’s embarrassed to be seen with me. She’s too needy and clings on to me. I love her but I don’t know if I want a relationship right now because of my military career. Its stressful being in a relationship with her, it takes to much energy and time to commitment to one person. She never took our future serious. She never helped me when I wanted her too. When I wanted to have a serious conversation she avoided it at all cost. I want to see her but I’m scared she will think I want a relationship. I don’t want to give her false hope so I tell her I just don’t know. Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 If I posted what some of my exes had to say...I'd be banned from ENA for life... Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 "Sometimes when you are riding along in the forest, you find two paths, and not both bikes can go down it at the same time, so you diverge...and you don't know if you meet again. Maybe you will, maybe you won't....but there is a CHANCE". Sounds like you dated a fortune cookie... Link to comment
Allie. Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Hmm. he would say something like this: "Well, because she is of a different religion...i just don't think it could every work out so why do it? I mean, its not like she can date anyway and there are so many other fish in the sea. I guess we're only in highschool but still...whats the point if there is no POINT to the whole relationship?" Haha. oh well. =D life is okay =D Allie. Link to comment
HangingInThere Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 wow...i actually heard with my own 2 ears what he would say about me (2 minutes ago). i realized i had messgaes on my car phone - i checked...apparently he had given one of his good friends the number a long time ago...anyway, she said, "call her and stop treating his friend like a stranger...you cannot be so occupied with your physco girlfren". brahhaahhahahaah - the nerves, i can only imagine now what else he have said to his friends....i am actually crackingup Link to comment
HangingInThere Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Sounds like you dated a fortune cookie... lol Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Sounds like you dated a fortune cookie... I know, lame, eh? You should hear some of the other gems he gave me. Sad thing is then I sucked it all up...... Link to comment
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