HELP ME!!!......I need advice of this pain I’m going through right now.

[NORALYN]

Me and my bf broke up about over a month now. We broke up because he had another GF (his GF now) so Last week I posted here on enotalone.com then somebody give me an advice not to contact my ex for one week and I follow his advice. So after one week of not contacting him I feel a little bit better but still I miss him so much. I even find myself crying at night thinking of him and those times we talked via text. I was talking to GOD and I said to Him just give me back my ex coz I love him so much. My heart still hoping that me and my ex will be back together. So on Sunday evening I miss call my exbf on his mobile and he send me a text message. I thought that was the beginning of a new relationship coz I know he and his new GF broke up...So we text about 2 days and I feel happy but last night he told me that he and his new girlfriend are getting back together. He even told me that he still love his new GF so they decided to get back together and give their relationship a second time around. He even said to me he was sorry. The truth really hurt me again as if all my hopes are gone…I cried last night and I couldn’t even sleep…I was wrong of contacting him again. I thought if I will contact him again he will still love me. My mother is worried about me coz she saw me crying almost everyday and I was getting skinny. During day time when I’m at work my mind is relax and I can’t think of him but during night time and on weekends my mind started to think of him and I’m getting myself worst. I’m also worried of myself and my health. If any one read my message now please help me and give me some advices on what to do to help myself to let my ex go forever and how to stop myself not to text him again coz I know if he will text me I will still reply his text. Please also give me advices on how to heal myself of this second pain that I’m going through right now. . .GOD bless you all…..Thanks in advance. …

[brickchamp]

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, so similar to mine. I think of my ex of two weeks all the time, and I relive the beautiful things he texted me, how much he loved me, he wanted to always be with me, but dumped me VIA text 3 days later. I say I'd be strong, but I'm afraid if he texted, I'd text back...My friends and parents are also worried, I am so quiet, depressed, losing weight. So I know exactly how you feel. Yesterday, I didn't cry, for the first time, but I've had a bad day today. It's going to be a roller coaster for you, and alot of us. I'm trying to keep my mind off him, but I wish there were some magical advice I could give you. The only thing that comforts me is to think of the one other time I felt heartbreak like this. I wanted to die, but I DID get over it in time. But I know you don't want to get over it, you want him back. I feel that way about this guy...but just try to not contact him. I'm doing that, and I'm doing better. Best wishes to you.

[l0stNc0nfuzzLed]

i was once sort of in a similiar situation. i understand it's hard to not to contact him. it's tough, i'm actually going through something right now where this morning my boyfriend pretty much dumped me and i've been bawling for the past two days. and i'm probably never going to hear from him or see him again. i've been crying on my friends' shoulders. they're always there for me. maybe you need to get out and try to get your mind off of him. go spend time with your friends. but with your situation in terms of the whole hoping your ex will get back with you, i wouldn't rely too much on it, especially since he has this new person in his life. i should be taking my own advice because i still have that little hope that maybe we will get back together one day, but only time can tell. i was happy with him too despite what my friends say about him. i know he can be an * * * * * * * and a jerk, but when i'm with him, i'm happy. so i completely understand what you're going through.

 

just try to stay strong, delete him number from your phone even if you know it by heart. pls do yourself that favor. wipe out anything that reminds you of him from your phone, emails, etc. because dwelling on it will only make you cry more and more. it's only been like 2 days for me, but within the past 36 hours, maybe even more, all i had was half a bagel, cup of coffee, 2 cigarettes and a donut. and this is very unusual because i'm a big eater. my stomach reminds me to eat, but sometimes i'm just not in the mood to eat.

 

just stay strong and try not to think about him. distract yourself. i get tempted to just look at his pictures, and if i see him online I want to send him a message, but i'm trying real hard. you can do it. just try.

[NORALYN]

I post in this web site to have someone to give me advices and can help me to mend a broken heart............ Thanks brickchamp and l0stNc0nfuzzLed for the inspiring messages both of you send. When I read of your messages I cried and I said to myself its not only me that going thought the difficult situation of mending a broken heart or letting go of the person that really mean so much to me. I really tried my best not to think of my ex. My mind wanted to forget him totally but my heart is still hoping he comes back to me and loved me again. When I’m alone and even If I watched TV my mind is still thinking of him. My life now is a mess. I even think of drinking sleeping pills so that I can sleep will. I asked myself why I still love this person that makes my life now miserable. GOD knows I really tried to forget him and GOD saw every thing I’ve done just to let him go totally. I asked myself why I love him more than I love myself. brickchamp your right, my life now is a roller coaster. brickchamp and l0stNc0nfuzzLed I will try to do the advices both of you suggested to me. I will try my very best not to reply his messages again every time he will contact me. I hope you can still send me your reply every time I post…It really help me a lot. THANKS A LOT…

 

 

P.S.

 

I will still post here until I can fully recover and probably one day I can also send advices to those people that going through a tough moment of letting go of someone that broke their heart..

[lonestar_80]

I went through the same thing 3 years ago. What helped me the most was to focus on other things and not him.

 

1. Watching a lot of funny movies! I was at Blockbuster 2 times a week. A good laugh is like medicine to the soul!

 

 

2. Prayer, Prayer, Prayer, Prayer! I prayed all the time! Pray for God to give you peace! Don't pray to get your ex back. If it is in his will God will send him back to you,but until then you have to heal yourself. I prayed for peace, comfort, and deliverence from my ex. I even prayed to God to avenge me (Romans 12:19), b/c I was temped to get revenge on my ex.

 

3. Read the word of God, it can be so comforting and it seems what you need to hear will pop out before your eyes!

 

4. Go to church. Not only is the sermon good but you can meet new people.

 

5. Go out with your friends. Go out to eat have a girls night out. Go bowling or something like that.

 

6. Workout. Go to the gym, or find a safe place to go walk. This gets rid of stress and built up tension.

 

7. NC, NC, NC. Don't contact your ex for any reason what so ever. He will call you but you have to decide if you want to pick up the phone. Trust me, like my dad says "when he falls out with that other woman he will come runing back to you". But do you really want to be with a guy that had another GF while dating you?

 

8. Get rid of his pictures or put them away in a place that you will never see them or burn them. I keep one picture of my ex and burned the rest. You do not have to go to that extreme but I knew that we would never get back together even though he came crawling back.

 

9. Read some good books! There is nothing like a good book to get your mind off of what is happening in your own life.

 

10. Do not feel pressured to date. Do not date until you are ready to.

 

11. Try to eat three times a day. I lost weight too. I can laugh about this now, but when I broke up with my ex someone asked me how did I loose so much weight? What diet are you on? I thought, honey, you don't want to be on this diet! I looked like a bag of bones (115 lbs)

 

12. This is the hardest one of all. You have to forgive your ex. If we do not forgive others God will not forgive us of our sins. Unforgivness causes sickness and stress.

 

Just keep up NC. When he calls you (unless he is willing to commit to you only) do not listen to him. But the fact that he cheated shows you that he can't give you what you need. Just pray, and laugh and God will do the rest.

[l0stNc0nfuzzLed]

that's what we're all here for. to help each other.

[NORALYN]

Thanks for the advice lonestar 80. I will try to do the advices you shared to me especially the advice to pray pray and pray more and to force myself not to contact him anymore or reply his text message even if his the 1st one to contact me. Dealing with break ups is the hardest and painful thing a person will encounter. You, brickchamp and l0stNc0nfuzzLed undergo the same pain that I’ve been thought right now but you have moved on. If the three of you accept the truth that the man you love is no longer with you now then I will also try my best to let him go totally. You are right lonestar 80 how I can love a person that doesn’t care and love me anymore. How can I love a person that had moved on and found someone else and happy for his new relationship. If I pray now I will pray that GOD will heal the wounds and GOD will help me to forget him totally. I prayed many times that my ex will come back and love me again but GOD never granted my prayer and petition. Maybe its God wills that He want us to have separate ways. I know my life is no longer the same as before. It’s a roller coaster and full of pain. I can’t understand why it had to happen but I will trust GOD that I’m on the right track. To l0stNc0nfuzzLed you a right dear we are here now to help each other. GOD bless you all……..

[l0stNc0nfuzzLed]

it's tough. i know. and all you want it for him to come back, and even though you know it's probably not going to happen, you still have that little hope. and the only person that can make this better is him. i've been crying all day. and i'm all cried out. all i want it to just be in his arms. but right now all i can do is cry.

[blender]

Noralyn, yes you are hurting now, but remember "rejection is god's protection" and sometimes fate does for us what we can not do for ourselves, please trust that even though this hurts like hell right now, you will get through this, one day at a time, you do not have to decide if you will respond again if he is to contact you, not today, just feel your heartache, cry, cry, cry, and know that these feelings will pass... they will, I promise you this.

 

We have all had our hearts broken, the pain seems impossible to handle, we lose sleep, we don't eat well, we can't think straight, nights are so lonely, we feel like we are walking through cement,

 

but then when we concentrate on the FACTS and not the FEELINGS we start to breathe a little easier, by this I mean, you are worthy of a loving kind wonderful relationship and some day it might be with this guy but for today, just for today, you can accept that your path is being led on a different road, one for personal growth, getting your self confidence back, being proud of yourself for each day you go without contacting him.

 

All the time knowing that this other girl can have him for now, but he will eventually get bored with her.... it's part of his pattern right now.

 

let go for today, just one day at a time, You have the courage and guts and the self respect to get through this, and at some point you will be giving loving advice to others who feel like "that can't take the heartache"... I'm sure so many others just feel better reading that you are feeling what they are feeling and YOU will be OKAY, sometimes in life we just have to be "sad" for a bit, that's all.

 

believe me, when my ex left me, I was so sad I couldn't even take a shower without weeping, I'd cry in the car, in bed, having my coffee, where ever and whenever, the tears didn't seem to stop,

 

but then one day I thought if he's not crying over me, why should I waste my energy crying over him, I want it all, not just crumbs from some guy, I want the whole cake and I know that someday I will have it,

 

and in the meantime YOU can get back to YOURSELF and start healing and knowing that this is just a "heartbreak that you will survive" and be better because of it, some guys are simply bridges in our lives so we learn and are ready for THEE right one... and it could even be him but for today it is not... and you are powerless over him, and his choices, they are not about YOU, not about whether you are this or that, YOU are perfect just as you are... and it's his loss, he lost YOU, not the other way around, remember that.

 

This too shall pass, and you are learning, growing, and this heartache is all a part of life, we can not escape it, it happens to everyone, but it's all happening for a reason, everything is exactly as it should be in this moment, no matter how much it hurts, You are going to be amazing for not contacting him anymore, just try to not contact him one day at a time.. remember no good can come from calling him right now, let him be on his path and you be on yours, and you never know when the two shall cross again....so for now get busy with your own life, because you are blessed with one... Be proud of yourself for getting through this, and it's okay that you talked to him again, but now it's a new beginning for you. We are all here for you, we know just how you feel...

[NORALYN]

Thanks a lot blender for the inspiring words you shared with me and to those people that go the same trials that I’ve been right now. I know I will pass these trials one day and healed. I really appreciated the support that I got to those people that I never knew but comforted me now. You, brickchamp, l0stNc0nfuzzLed and lonestar 80 words of advices mean so much to me now. Your right blender the hurts that I feel right now is like a hell and I will get through this one day at a time and this feelings will pass someday. I will take your advice to do things one at a time, not to contact my ex anymore and to trust GOD. If I only listened to the first person that give me the advice (need2bme) not to contact my ex anymore, probably I’m now in the healing period but I follow my heart not the advice so I’m going back to the first step of mending a broken heart. GOD provide me guardian angels that will direct my path now but I never listen. So now I will take or follow the advices that were shared to me. If I will continue to contact my ex or reply his text message I know I won’t be healed and the pain will still grow and grow. Maybe I will first learn to love myself so that I will gain my self worth again. My parents are worried about my health coz each day I became thinner and thinner, couldn’t’ sleep, eat well and tired to go to work. I cried for my ex all the time but I knew he was not affected with our break up coz his happy now with someone else. His happy and I’m lonely so I will take those advices not to contact him anymore (even if my heart want him so much and want to talk to him) so that I can be myself and find the peace in my heart. Hope that you will continue to support me. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME….GOD bless……

 

P.S.

 

If one day I will learn to forget him, heal or no longer feel the pain and ready to talk to him again but I don’t know if I can still contact him when that day comes coz he said to me he will change his cell phone number probably next week or next month. He told me this the last time we talked over the cell phone. When he said that I cried…..This also made me much confused.

[NORALYN]

If one day I will learn to forget him, heal or no longer feel the pain and ready to talk to him again but I don’t know if I can still contact him when that day comes coz he said to me he will change his cell phone number probably next week or next month. He told me this the last time we talked over the cell phone. When he said that I cried…..This also made me much confused and much sadder.......

[lonestar_80]

I am sorry but he is an * * * hole. He will see the error in his ways one day. You should have told him that he does not need to change his number b/c your not going to call him.

 

Any man that changes his number to get away from a girl is a punk. He should be a man and face the mess he made by being a low down lying cheat.

[lonestar_80]

I prayed many times that my ex will come back and love me again but GOD never granted my prayer and petition. Maybe its God wills that He want us to have separate ways. I know my life is no longer the same as before. It’s a roller coaster and full of pain. I can’t understand why it had to happen but I will trust GOD that I’m on the right track

 

May be God has a better mate for you. This guy does not sound like a good guy. If he cheated on you, he will cheat on her too when he gets bored with her or if she dumps him he will come running back to you.

 

God has a plan to prosper us and not to harm us. I know it hurts like he!! but we have to know that God has something better for us. He does not deserve you right now.:splat:

 

Good Luck and God Bless.

[asianlkp22]

I am sorry you are going through this hurt, but the only way that can cure your pain is TIME.

 

We have all been through hurt because of someone we felt that we loved left us. Truthfully, if it was meant to be it would stick.

 

He just text you to get comfort from another female, which all males love that. He was very wrong to contact you knowing that you still miss him and love him, but you need to see that it was a lesson learned in that relationship, where it will help you later.

 

Sweetie, you have to let TIME take it's course. You must CUT all contact with him, delete his number, email, everything that reminds you of him. Go out with your friends, keep yourself occupied. It helps when you have a guy friend to lean on, he will put things into perspective in a guys point of view. That's what I do, I have lots of guy friends, when i get hurt, they are always there for me to keep me busy.

 

You will be okay. This wasn't Love it was just LUST. You will find someone that will LOVE You more than anything, and you will look back and laugh how you were lusting over this boy.

 

Take care, you need to eat, I dont' want you to get sick because of this. I put myself into depression with my ex-husband and I went down to 100 pounds and I am 5"6'....that's not healthy.......

[NORALYN]

Thanks lonestar 80 for the helpful advice. Your right lonestar80 GOD has His ways for us to follow. GOD has a plan for my life and the relationship that made me cry. Probably one day I will understand all this trials in my life now. All the pains that I feel….I follow those help advices you send to me……AND ALL THE ADVICES I READ FROM THE PEOPLE THAT SHOW THEIR SUPPORT TO ME.....

 

Thanks asianlkp22. ….. Your right TIME can only tell and time can also heal the pain that I’m going through right now…………

 

Last night my ex sends me a text message and we had a 30 minutes conversation via text. . So I said to him My GOD why you still texted me? Your happy now with your current GF. Let me have my peace of mind. He told me I texted you coz I want to know how are you….So I told him I’m fine and still mending my broken heart. The other night my last hope is gone coz you chose your current GF over me for the second time so I decided to let you go totally. I said to him I never listen to the people those advices me not to contact you anymore but look what happen you still dump me for the second time. Last time I follow my heart so what happen I only cried, so this time I will listen to their advices. You know I love you so much, so he said I love my GF now but I love you now as a FRIEND. He also added, I know you can do it and you will forget me. I NEVER FEEL ANY REGRETS ON HIS PART THAT WE BROKE UP....I cried coz the truth hurt me so much....I know he texted me last night coz he can’t talk to her GF coz its time for bed. He even asked me you don’t want me to be your friend? So I said NO. . I’ve done everything to him before when he was my bf. If he has problems and he texted me even late at night or early in the morning I woke up just to reply all his text. I listen, listen, listen and listen to him but look what happen he dumped me for another girl. I said my last goodbye for him and I know it’s gonna be forever. I have to fix my life and start all over again. This time I will choose my happiness now and peace of mind over him. I know it’s difficult but it’s the best thing. Letting go of the person I love is the most tough one and my life will be much of saddnes.......I KNOW GOD WON'T LEAVE ME DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME OF MY LIFE ANDTHE BATTLE OF LETTING GO OF SOMEONE THAT BEEN PART OF MY LIFE FOR SUCH A LONG TIME......... I cried but I know one day I will pass all this pain and move on......

[need2bme]

At this point it really does seem as if he knows what it is doing to you and chooses to do it anyway. That is WRONG! Why is he instigating text messages with you? Is it because he likes control?

 

I know how it is to really want to make everything ok. I spoke to my GF and she threw some stuff in the convo and I think they were meant to push me away. I don't know why she did that.

 

Hang in there, 'cause we are with you.

[NORALYN]

It feels better when some listened to you. GOD knows how much I wanted to forget him totally. Each day I cried and feel so lonely. I try to distract myself of thinking of him but his memories will always wake up my thoughts. I cried when I think that his happy now with his current GF and here I am alone and lonely. If I can only turn back the hands of time I wished I never meet him and falls in love with him. It really kills me each day…

[NORALYN]

Weekends is the worst time of my life…Every weekends I feel much sadder coz I know I will think of my ex almost every minute even if I want to distract my mind…I try to wake up early in the morning to do some household chores but all I do is to think of him not the chores…Sleep is the only way I can get out of the pain but its not right to sleep all the time….Why my heart does not cooperate what my mind want to do? My mind wanted to forget my ex totally but my heart will not cooperate…..

[saltwatergirl]

I'll agree on the weekend thing. You need to get angry.

 

Remember: There are more fish in the sea. He is not the only guy left on earth, and he is definitely not the only guy who is ever gonna want to be with you. You dont want him anyway, look how he has treated you. And you don't need him either. You deserve much better. You really do. And you know this.

 

Look how you are feeling right now. Look at all the sadness. Does he care? Is he there? No. What kind of a man can claim to care for you and then do what he did, and just leave you in this mess you're in without even a second thought? A cold heartless ______, that's what. You dont even need that! And by the way I agree with the other post, hel! he doesnt have to change that number, how egotistical can you get! This guy sounds like a real jerk. He really thinks you are just over there flopping around like some fish! Stop that!

 

I'd be thanking my lucky stars that I am free of that mistreatmentand FREE to go on about my life doing what I want, when I want, and looking forward to the day when a really nice guy will come along and treat you the way you really deserve to be treated, and apparently that isn't going to be much of a standard to exceed!

 

Salt

[brickchamp]

Weekends is the worst time of my life…Every weekends I feel much sadder coz I know I will think of my ex almost every minute even if I want to distract my mind…I try to wake up early in the morning to do some household chores but all I do is to think of him not the chores…Sleep is the only way I can get out of the pain but its not right to sleep all the time….Why my heart does not cooperate what my mind want to do? My mind wanted to forget my ex totally but my heart will not cooperate…..

 

I feel the same noralyn...I hate having time on my hands...when there's nothing to do but THINK, and relive the "good times" and the bad. Ugh. I have been taking sleeping pills and sleeping A LOT to numb myself. But now I'm having dreams about my ex, where I'm chasing him, and he's rejecting me all over again. It sucks. I know taking the sleeping pills is serious, and I'm going to try and stop that....but it gets so painful sometimes, that's all I can do is just shut everything out.

[NORALYN]

Thanks for the inspiring words saltwatergirl. Your so lucky coz your over now with the pain that I feel right now….Yah he doesn’t care about me anymore coz his happy with his current GF but here I am crying over him still in love with the jerk that dump me…Before he always blamed me and he always said that its my fault that’s why we broke up. How can it be my fault I never done anything, I’m not the one who betrayed…I feel so bad that time and until now….

 

 

Brickchamp I know the pain is temporary and one day we will laugh all this things. ..If I can only turn back the hands of time I wish I never meet him…..Do you feel the same?

[brickchamp]

Yes, it's temporary, but when you have to take it day-by-day it feels like an eternity doesn't it? I know time was what helped me get over another serious heartbreak, but it feels like it's just crawwwwwwling. I just look forward to the day I will truly stop thinking about him. It's hard for me to say I wish I'd never met him, but yeah, my life would be a lot easier if I hadn't. I wish I'd never let him know how I felt, and we could have just stayed friends like we were before. Now I don't have him either way.

[NORALYN]

Brickchamp each day when were trying not to think of them it really feel like a hell but we have no choice...Its been two days that me and my ex have no contact but I'm a little bit thankful of that....I hope I can forget him totally for a couple of days so that I will no longer feel the pain and the saddness. I'm so tired of it.....So tired.......Before going to bed I try to read all the inspiring messages that were sent to me.. I'm really thankful I found people that feel the same what I feel now its a big help coz they also give me advices....