There's something I've noticed during my time on this forum.

[DCMann2]

And that, my friends, is that the average relationship time before a break up is a year and a half. It seems like 80 - 90% of the people here (me included) were in a relationship for a year and a half before it ended. Is there something magical about that expanse of time? I'm thinking that once you hit a year and a half, things start to get a little stale, and you and/or your ex takes a step back and thinks "am I really going to spend the rest of my life with this person?" I tend to think that that's the situation with a LOT of us around here, which is why most of us want our exes back so badly. Anyway, that's just what I was thinking.

[melrich]

I think a lot of people do break up around this time. It may be boredom but I think it is also a time when you start to say, "Wow, I am making a serious investment of my life here, is this the guy/girl I want to be with for ever?"

 

It is the time that people start to think that this thing is getting real serious.

 

BTW, I find the next big break up mark is the 6 to 7 year mark.

[renaissancewoman101]

I think it takes you a year before you get to REALLY know someone and after that year passes, you realize that you are in it for the long haul and then things that you used to be ok with, may start bothering you, esp if you are starting to lose interest in the person. I think at the year and half point, people start to realize "maybe this person is NOT the right one for me". It was like that with me, except it was me who started to lose interest in the ex. I then did the cowardly thing of pulling away from him, treating him badly and leading him to do the dumping. BUT, when he did dump me, I was hurt badly.

[DCMann2]

That may be true, melrich, but it seems a little strange that after a break up, some people (like my ex...gah) hop into another relationship very quickly. Another thing that's strange is that while most of these "rebound" relationships may not last more than a few months at the most, some last even longer than the relationship you were just in! I just hope that in my situation, the former is true, rather than the latter.

[melrich]

That's not so strange. They are not saying they don't want to be in a relationship. They are saying they don't want to be in a relationship with you (despite what they actually say to you).

[DCMann2]

I don't know, it just seemed a little odd to me, since our relationship was overwhelmingly positive.

[melrich]

Well I haven't read your story but if you are broken up, something was wrong whether you have worked out what that was or not.

[brando]

melrich wrote BTW, I find the next big break up mark is the 6 to 7 year mark.

 

Yeah...the seven year itch.

[melrich]

Yeah...the seven year itch.

 

I know, there must be something to it. I know so many couples who have broken up in 6-8 year range.

[DCMann2]

Well I haven't read your story but if you are broken up, something was wrong whether you have worked out what that was or not.

Long story very, very short: she fell out of love with me.

[melrich]

That happens unfortunately. If you can fall in love you can fall out of love.

[DCMann2]

That happens unfortunately. If you can fall in love you can fall out of love.

Yes, but it's also possible to fall back in love.

[canuckhead]

Yes, but it's also possible to fall back in love.

 

 

yeah....but with the same person?

[DCMann2]

yeah....but with the same person?

Anything's possible, my good man.

[Dako]

I always considered it 8 years, but that's close enough to the 7 year itch.

Another good reason to avoid marriage.

[SunflowerFields]

That kind of scares me, lol...my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 2 months.

[annie24]

Yes, but it's also possible to fall back in love.

 

the other thing I have noticed on eNotalone is that the world's biggest optimists are those who just had their hearts broken.... hmmm....

[annie24]

I know, there must be something to it. I know so many couples who have broken up in 6-8 year range.

 

I think I read some study about hormone levels in long term relationships. If I find it, I'll let you guys know!

[DCMann2]

the other thing I have noticed on eNotalone is that the world's biggest optimists are those who just had their hearts broken.... hmmm....

It's been...uh...7 weeks? Eight weeks? At any rate, while I want her back badly, I no longer feel that I need her back. Like I've said many times before, I have a lot of patience, some hope, and a lot of love. That doesn't stop me from meeting new people and having a good time, though. When the time is right, I'll contact my ex by phone and ask her if she wants to do something with me. If she rejects me, I'll act fine with it, then wait for a month or so. If she doesn't contact me by then about going out, I'll try one more time. If she rejects me again, I'll accept defeat and move on completely. If she wants to get back together in the future, we'll see what happens. In the mean time, I've a life to live.

[SummerLove]

I think the 6th month hurdle is the hardest to break, personally.

[friscodj]

the other thing I have noticed on eNotalone is that the world's biggest optimists are those who just had their hearts broken.... hmmm....

 

I think we should have a "quote of the week" award on ENA...

 

And I nominate this one for the first award... =D>

[Fivek]

It's been...uh...7 weeks? Eight weeks? At any rate, while I want her back badly, I no longer feel that I need her back. Like I've said many times before, I have a lot of patience, some hope, and a lot of love. That doesn't stop me from meeting new people and having a good time, though. When the time is right, I'll contact my ex by phone and ask her if she wants to do something with me. If she rejects me, I'll act fine with it, then wait for a month or so. If she doesn't contact me by then about going out, I'll try one more time. If she rejects me again, I'll accept defeat and move on completely. If she wants to get back together in the future, we'll see what happens. In the mean time, I've a life to live.

 

This has D-E-N-I-A-L written all over it, unfortunately. Keep up the NC indefinetly.

[friscodj]

This has D-E-N-I-A-L written all over it, unfortunately. Keep up the NC indefinetly.

 

Good call Fivek...

[mikeca]

well like he said its his life to lead.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I am quite dreading the One Year Mark, to be honest. My boyfriend said recently *hey, dearest, you know what happens in October? It's a year...* whereupon I felt bound to distract him..

 

This is what I dislike about relationships. The stages always change, and the longer I'm with someone, the more likely they are to get bored with me. I can't stand to think that I could be one of those girls who gets stamped all over after 14 months or whatever because I am just not good enough any more.

 

URGH.