babybear Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Yesterday my boyfriend started looking at my phone so I looked at his. He had around 10-15 text messages from a girl he is friends with. It was nothing flirty just some conversation, though he did ask her about her love life, and she replied asking him about me. She asked if we were a lot better now, which I was confused by so I asked him about it and he told me it was because when we had an argument he told her about it. I was very upset with him because I have told him before that I don't like our problems shared, least of all with some random girl. I know people will justify him though and say well maybe he needed to talk to somebody. But what really upset was that he had text her that amount of messages. It was only on one occasion but I still feel he shouldn't have been texting her like that just to chat. It made me feel insecure. Am I over-reacting? Link to comment
PRSOV Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Hi there, Yes I do think you are over-reacting just a touch... Talking to her via text messaging was probably his "outlet" after you guys parted ways, thus being his only way of relieving stress. All he told her was that you guys had separated, Right? I don't see anything bad about that, he showed you the text messages so he isn't trying to hide anything from you so just relax a bit. Link to comment
babybear Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 No we haven't separated we are still very much together. We had an argument a few days ago which he told her about at the time. Then when they were texting she just asked him if we were better now. Link to comment
PRSOV Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 What do you mean by "when you fell out" then?.. Link to comment
babybear Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 we just had an argument over something trivial because I don't remember what it was over we just would have been mad at each other. Link to comment
PRSOV Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Ok, well I still don't think you have anything to worry about. He showed you all of the text messages so I would say he isn't trying to hide anything from you, nor does he really have any interest in her. Link to comment
Amore Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I really wouldn't be concerned at all. At lot of my guy friends text me/call/IM asking for relationship advice. And I'm 100% sure they have no interest in me. Consider yourself lucky that your guy cares enough about your relationship to go out of his way to get good advice Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 If he repeatedly goes to this girl for relationship advice, it could be a bredding ground for an emotional affair. Occasionally is probably healthy though. I don't know. I find relationships hard!! Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Sounds like he has a girl waiting in the wings in case your relationship goes bad. Not good. I'd reiterate that you don't like him airing your personal business with another woman you don't know. Not cool. Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 That's quite paranoid of Iceman26. But then again, I certainly wouldn't discount it. In my Treatin People Bad days, I had a few reserves "on ice". Ouch. Just keep vigilant. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Well, I like to call it caution. Maybe I've just seen too much.......... Link to comment
GottaLetItBurn Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Sounds like he has a girl waiting in the wings in case your relationship goes bad. Not good. I'd reiterate that you don't like him airing your personal business with another woman you don't know. Not cool. Unfortunately it's something both men and woman do. This is the obvious reason she is paranoid. However, if your gut is telling you something is wrong then there usually is. She can only trust him, and give him warnings not to things she isn't comfertable seeing him do. Tell him not to do it anymore. It can crush a person when the other trys to find a fall back plan. Link to comment
locolady Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 my ex used to text and email a female friend all the time....talked about problems we had etc....then he dumped me for her! I foolishly took him back later adn he continued to contact her regularly....he then cheated on me! Unfortunately girls are so easily pulled in when a guy friend "turns to them" for support.....emotional affair, turns physical. She is there for him, often this sets up a new relationship. As others have said - one in waiting. both men and women do this and it really really sucks. Maybe i should join your cynical group iceman! Link to comment
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