Scared of getting older...

[Lily04]

I was just talking with a friend of mine who turned 22 years old yesterday. Her screenname on MSN is "i'm officially old now" and although she's kidding I couldn't help but reflecting that I'll feel the same when I turn 22. I'm 21 now and LOVE my age. I don't know why exactly, I just love the fact that I'm 21 -- it sounds young, I feel young, and yet mature, and I know what I want in life. I think it's because 21 is also what is considered by many men to be the "peak" age of attractiveness for women, and I'm scared of deviating from that peak. I think it could also be because I am a total perfectionist, and so I'm scared of correspondingly deviating from what I consider to be the 'perfect' age.

 

Does anyone else feel like this? Is this normal for people my age, or just stupid? lol. I know 22 isn't that old at all... but I know when I blow out the candles on my own birthday (which actually isn't for a while -- in December), I will feel a bit of sadness from leaving 21.

[ElektraHere]

I don't think you should consider yourself "old." Old is all in the mind. I know 21 year olds that act like 15 year olds. I also know people in their 50s and 60s and they act like they are my age, which is 33. There was a gal I knew who threw her husband a "over the hill party" when he turned 30. Puhleeeze.

You feel young you will stay young. Don't worry so much on the number just enjoy life

[kellbell]

Awww honey,

 

Don't be afraid of getting older. I kind of felt the way you are feeling when I turned 25. Big HUGS!!!

 

Don't listen to that mumbo-jumbo about..."many men to be the "peak" age of attractiveness for women." That is a bunch of hooey. I turn 30 this year and I am psyched! No need to worry about getting older. Your feelings are not stupid at all. Very normal.

[RayKay]

Yes, I am ancient, I might as well get out my wheelchair, because NO man will look at me ever again. I am so past my peak....

 

Honey, there is no perfect age. And age is not something you can "hold in time" without well, not living anymore. Trust me, I feel awesome at my current age (27 next month - woot!), and actually look forward to hitting 30. I just get more comfortable in my own skin and with who I am every year. I wouldn't go back to 21 for anything now!

 

I know that "fear" of moving on, but more often it's related more to the fear of adult responsibility, than of moving on in age.

 

While there may be some men whom consider 21 the "perfect age" for the woman they are attracted to, most men I know really don't subscribe to crap like that. They fall for the PERSON not their age! They appreciate maturity and growth in a partner. Women in my own opinion really get sexier as they mature as their CONFIDENCE tends to grow as well. They get comfortable with whom they are. And that is EXTREMELY hot. I know many men whom love women whom are older than they are because of that.

 

I know some 40, 50 and even 60 year old woman I work out with whom still turn heads of men 20 years younger.

 

Age ain't nothing but a number. You are only as old as you feel, and you can be as young as you really want to be if you take care of your body and your mind.

[onmyownagain]

If I found myself single again I would not go for someone who is just 21, far too young, give me a woman in her 30's who has sorted out her life and knows exactly what she wants, in bed and out.

[kellbell]

Hehe...sometimes I feel like a 29 year-old stuck in a 14 year-old body...I am really a kid at heart. I have Tiggers, toys, and little trinkets all over my desk at work. I do crazy, off the wall, spur of the moment things. So, you are only as old or young as you feel. Age is a state of mind...not a number.

[RayKay]

Funny coincidence - I am listening to "Ms Genova" right now (love that song) and one of the lines is "there is something to be said for growing older".....and I just had to add to this thread - true dat!

[shes2smart]

A funny thing happened after my 22nd birthday. When people would ask how old I was, I'd have to stop and think a minute. Other than the decade birthdays (30, 40, etc) there really are no major milestones past 21.

 

16, you get your drivers license, 18 you graduate from high school & get to vote, 21 you can smoke, drink, gamble & carouse to your heart's content....see what I mean?

 

So, I turned 42 last month...and while it doesn't seem possible (most days I feel like I'm still about 15...only with a car, more money and no curfew), I wouldn't go back to my 20's for anything. Remembering what my life was like at that point combined with seeing what other 20-somethings are dealing with on the board has really convinced me that it's not quite the "best time of your life" as many sources try to tell you.

 

I don't think it gets said often enough...for a lot of people...perhaps even a majority of people...life gets better as you get older.

[annie24]

Hi lily - I am sorry to report, it is all over for you. Me also. I am far beyond my expiration day. Men don't look at me on the street anymore. Little children recoil in horror. Some people feel sorry for me and throw change at me.

 

A few of us girl mods/RMs are going to be moving in together into the "spinster apartments", along with our 27 cats. You are welcome to join us.

[RayKay]

 

A few of us girl mods/RMs are going to be moving in together into the "spinster apartments", along with our 27 cats. You are welcome to join us.

 

And one bunny rabbit! Should keep him nice and thin running away from all those cats.

 

Sure is going to break my boyfriends heart though when I move in with you guys - but it's for his own good really. I wouldn't want him to be with me out of pity because I am sure he really thinks I am too old, but worries about my frailness in my old age now and does not think I could handle the shock.

[annie24]

It's ok raykay. I know a 21 year old we can introduce to your boyfriend.

 

Looks like you're stuck with us!

[AwdreeHpburn]

wow.

 

Now I feel REALLY old and I'm only 33!!

 

Sheeeesh!

 

But seriously Lily, I know what you mean and it doesn't sound stupid. We ALL have those feelings. I mean, I'm not ready to shop for caskets or anything, but I do have anxiety sometimes about the inevitable.

 

Getting "old" as you say, has its benefits too. And I know, spoken like a true old person, but it's true and it's something you will only know when you're there.

 

I am a firm believer in the quote, Youth is Wasted On The Young....

 

Enjoy it while you have it.

 

No matter what you do, it will happen. Why not spend the time happily instead of obsessively?

[ElektraHere]

Hey Tar ree saw

 

I will be 34 in a few weeks so start planning my retirement party ok ;-)

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Tar ree saw

 

I will be 34 in a few weeks so start planning my retirement party ok ;-)

 

 

 

lol!!

 

You got it!

 

i'll be there. i'll have to make sure i put my teeth in that day so i look a few years younger....

[Lily04]

Thanks guys, I feel better now. I think you're right... I will probably look back when I'm older & see how I feel more secure then, and confident, as I'll (hopefully) be done school and have a job, and other opportunities will open up for me. Right now I am still not in the happiest place -- still a bit scared about my post-grad options, career, relationships, etc...

 

I think the most positive thing about being 21 (and why guys like it) is because it's typically considered in the media to be the sexiest/most attractive age. You'll hear something like 'wow, i'm dating the hottest 21 yr old!' and you're considered lucky, whereas it's less likely to hear with 30 year old women. BUT that is not necessarily true. There are still many beautiful & sexy women in their 30s (I believe Eva Longaria, and I'm probably spelling her name wrong), Catherine Zeta Jones and many others are considered at the 'peak' of their attractiveness still. And as long as I keep fit and healthy, I should still be looking hot for many years to come. haha. I'll just have the maturity & confidence to accompany it as well... hopefully not sagging boobs though!! hahaha.

 

Thx,

 

Lily

[annie24]

And don't forget Demi Moore! In her 40s, is in the prime of her life, with a hot younger man! She looks hotter than ever.

[kellbell]

You know what, I am in the best shape (physically, weight-wise, mentally, spiritually) at 29 than I was at 21. At 21, I did not know squat! So, I only pray that is gets better and better.

[AwdreeHpburn]

For me, it's just gotten weirder and weirder.

 

In a way, I sort of feel like the Lawnmower Man.

 

Like I came from a really dark place where I was blissfully un-aware and have just started to soak up information. Knowing that then I knew very little and realizing now that I know nothing.

[RayKay]

You know what, I am in the best shape (physically, weight-wise, mentally, spiritually) at 29 than I was at 21. At 21, I did not know squat! So, I only pray that is gets better and better.

 

Same here (but not at 29 yet!).

 

I really have a lot more balance to my life too in general, which does loads for your piece of mind, confidence and just overall sense of being.

[annie24]

Not me! I miss being 21 and drunk at frat parties!

[Dako]

You guys are bumming me out.

You kids get offa my lawn!!

Fool kids,,,,

[AwdreeHpburn]

You guys are bumming me out.

You kids get offa my lawn!!

Fool kids,,,,

 

 

LOL!!!

 

 

I do feel like a silly kid. And I like it!

 

 

celibating?? - cute

[kellbell]

I have to agree, once you get into your late 20s to your 30s, you have a new found sense of confidence that you have do not have in your teens or early 20s. It is really cool. I am definitely in a better place than I was 5-10 years ago.

[Lily04]

Not me! I miss being 21 and drunk at frat parties!

 

oh, that's another thing... I've never really been a party person. I enjoy the odd party but getting wasted, etc. just isn't my idea of a good time. I have actually never gotten drunk before!! I've been tipsy, perhaps 'getting there' but I think I have a high alcohol tolerance, lol.. I remember drinking so much at one house party I went to actually TRYING to get drunk (had 2 shots of tequila straight, I think 2-3 beers, and a glass of wine) and still not getting drunk, it was quite funny. I'm glad though... I don't think I'd like the puking, etc. associated with it.

 

But yeah, sometimes I feel like I should be more crazy and 'act my age' or I may regret it in the future... just do something wild & fun with no regrets. Maybe I'll do that this summer... go to a few frat beach parties or something, I dunno. Still have to figure it out... but the summer is just beginning!

[Lily04]

Actually I think that may be one reason why I'm scared of getting older... I haven't done all the crazy stuff people who are in their early 20s do! I haven't had sex, tried drugs, even been drunk! Yet I'm a good-looking young chick! lol. I don't know, I don't think I'm that type of person though... I might go to some parties this summer & try weed, but ultimately I don't think it's like a rite of passage or anything....