Why do men this days look for "physically attractive women"

[Elisette]

I always wonder why mostly (not all) men only look for physically pretty women, and they almost never care for how they are in the inside, I have this problem because whenever I date guys IN PERSON they mostly go out with me physical and I also have talked /met guys in the internet that seem and are looking only at girl's personallity, but I have heard that men before were more smarter and looked at the inside of a girl

[RayKay]

I always wonder why mostly (not all) men only look for physically pretty women, and they almost never care for how they are in the inside, I have this problem because whenever I date guys IN PERSON they mostly go out with me physical and I also have talked /met guys in the internet that seem and are looking only at girl's personallity, but I have heard that men before were more smarter and looked at the inside of a girl

 

I would guess this has a lot to do with your age, and so the boys you meet and talk to. They aren't at an age they are usually looking for "a life time partner". Nor should you at this age!

 

Anyway, there are decent men out there, and lots of them too. I don't know any one of my male friends whom is looking for someone whom will do as long as they are physically attractive, regardless of their "insides".While attraction is important, it is based on more than looks alone, and what is attractive to one person, is totally different for another.

[annie24]

yes, I agree with raykay.... as you get older and men are looking for marriage (ie, closer to their 30s!), you'll find that they'll care more for what is inside than just a pretty face.

 

HANG IN THERE!

[Lily04]

Hey,

 

Well you're still 15... at that age, guys don't usually care much about about how compatible they may be with a girl, their hormones may be raging, and they just want a girl who's pretty so they can show their guy friends... it sucks. Honestly, I didn't even date in high school 'cause I found guys were soo immature I couldn't deal with it. Once you get older you'll see that men really DO care about a woman's personality, and often care much more about it than her looks!

But don't worry. It will get better. Just have confidence in yourself and if u feel you're just being used for your looks & don't like it, then dump the guy!!

 

Hope that helps,

 

Lily

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Keep an eye out for shallow girls, too.

 

Seriously though, I agree that whilst the world may appear to be shallow, there are those out there who have the IQ to look beyond your face and body. Trust me.

[Caldus]

I would guess this has a lot to do with your age

 

Correct...

[bobo85]

I have to be attracted to the woman if i'm going to be in a relationship with her. But the relationship wouldn't last if our personalities didn't match.

 

Bottom line: she has to have the total package. She has to be attractive and have a good personality.

[bhzmafia]

for a relationship to succeed, you need to be attracted to the person - and I know with me, I can be attracted to someone even if they arent really hot, a good personality can make someone look better in my eyes.

[yeawutever]

You're only 15 and well at the age, people go overboard on the looks and not look elsewhere. Like the other stated, as you and the guys get older, they'll look for to it than just the looks.

Ok so while I do agree that you have to be attracted to the person in order for a relation to develop, the person's personality is also important. No relation would work with a good looking person who treats you like crap.

[Dako]

Young guys have little else to see in girls but their outward appearance.

I can honestly say I've been less attentive to the mere appearance of women as I've aged. Not all men would agree, of course.

[Mun]

Attraction is important at any age, but as we get older other things become just as important like personality and good character.

 

Like the others said, you are really young and so at this point how you look is what grabs them first. To get past this go slowly and let guys get to know the real you. Follow your own pace.

[Kevin T]

I'm curious as to when in time men didn't look for "physically attractive women."

[Lily04]

I'm curious as to when in time men didn't look for "physically attractive women."

 

Well obviously men prefer women who are physically attractive to them.. there should be mutual attraction in a relationship. BUT as you get older and more mature, men (hopefully) start to realize that things like looks take the backseat and personality, interests, life goals, etc. become more important things they look for in a woman. Because, face it, even though you might think a woman is physically attractive it means very little when determining whether you 2 will be a good couple, and have a strong, lasting relationship (which is what men look for as they get older.) At the age of 15, most guys don't so much care about that.

[Kevin T]

Well obviously men prefer women who are physically attractive to them.. there should be mutual attraction in a relationship. BUT as you get older and more mature, men (hopefully) start to realize that things like looks take the backseat and personality, interests, life goals, etc. become more important things they look for in a woman. Because, face it, even though you might think a woman is physically attractive it means very little when determining whether you 2 will be a good couple, and have a strong, lasting relationship (which is what men look for as they get older.) At the age of 15, most guys don't so much care about that.

 

Do you suppose this may be part of the reason why women are marrying later in life than they used to?

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[Lily04]

Even when you're older there still has to be some sort of mutual attraction b/t a couple. No offense but being a skinny/slim guy I couldn't date a 250-300lb female for instance b/c I'm sorry that just doesn't attract me at all. Just like there are plenty of women who aren't attract to a skinny 6ft 2in black guy. It goes around on both sides concerning looks.

 

I guess, but there's always exceptions... I know a couple -- one is a really skinny white guy, doing a Ph.D in physics, and the other a slightly... overweight African-American female, who is doing a masters in physics. I guess their love for physics drew them together (he was her lecturer) and they've been together ever since & are soon getting married! Yet you would never guess (by appearances) that they're a couple... and you often see "hot" girls coupled with not-so-hot guys... it may be more rare, but certainly not extremely uncommon.

[Lily04]

Do you suppose this may be part of the reason why women are marrying later in life than they used to?

 

Maybe... I think it's more because women are more educated now though, than they used to be, and want to finish their schooling before marrying/settling down with kids. I know a lot of females who think like that at my university, including myself. I generally wouldn't marry until I'm done university, although if I find the right person in law school, I might get engaged & marry then. I don't have strict rules about that, but I know I wouldn't marry until I've been dating the guy for a few years, and many couples also meet in college/university, and date for a few years... I think the avg. age for women to marry now is somewhere around 26/27, and I think that's a good age because you're (I'm assuming) mature, and ready for a more committed relationship.

[RayKay]

I guess, but there's always exceptions... I know a couple -- one is a really skinny white guy, doing a Ph.D in physics, and the other a slightly... overweight African-American female, who is doing a masters in physics. I guess their love for physics drew them together (he was her lecturer) and they've been together ever since & are soon getting married! Yet you would never guess (by appearances) that they're a couple... and you often see "hot" girls coupled with not-so-hot guys... it may be more rare, but certainly not extremely uncommon.

 

But to him, and her, there still may be an attraction there. There ARE men out there whom will be attracted to bigger woman, and there are women out there whom will be attracted to skinny men as well.

 

I am sure "physics" made a common ground, but it is not what attracted them to one another. After all, he had plenty of other students, there was something about HER that attracted him.

 

I don't think someone should be made to feel guilty for having preferences. I personally am not attracted to overweight men, and I should not be made to feel like that is "wrong". It's my preference, not just for physical attraction but also for lifestyle compatibility.

[RayKay]

Do you suppose this may be part of the reason why women are marrying later in life than they used to?

 

I think this is more because women have more options these days. They don't feel pressured to become a person by getting married. They have rights to themselves without being married. They can pursue more career options, become their own person. They can have healthy children at later ages and are not pressured to have them by the time they are 30.

 

For me, I would rather wait to get married to the RIGHT person, then rush into getting married to the wrong one. In my late teens/early 20's I did not know enough of myself to really be prepared to decide whom I could spent the rest of my life with.

[Lily04]

Yes, I think Raykay's answer makes a lot of sense and I agree. btw Kevin, I'm going to add you to MSN now.

[Sisyphus]

I want to be with someone that I like completely as a person - on the inside and on the outside.

 

If I am with someone that falls short in either way, I am settling. Or deluding myself. (hm, or alowing myself to be deluded!).

 

I can only speak for myself but I think this goes for most men, and for women, for that matter.

 

So that's why men look for physically attractive women. They might also be pretty on the inside. That's right, we want both!

[Kevin T]

For me, I would rather wait to get married to the RIGHT person, then rush into getting married to the wrong one. In my late teens/early 20's I did not know enough of myself to really be prepared to decide whom I could spent the rest of my life with.

 

True, but even in one's thirties or forties one still cannot be absolutely certain that they've found the "right" person. We can probably never be completely sure, I suppose.

 

I think lack of maturity (amongst both sexes) is the driving factor in why both genders are marrying later. Sure there are a lot of extraneous circumstances and all, but I think the lack of mental maturity among most younger generations in our society seems to be a major factor.

 

And I totally agree, Sisyphus. We do want both! lol (Well, I assume most men are with me on this, anyway.)

[RayKay]

True, but even in one's thirties or forties one still cannot be absolutely certain that they've found the "right" person. We can probably never be completely sure, I suppose.

 

I think lack of maturity (amongst both sexes) is the driving factor in why both genders are marrying later. Sure there are a lot of extraneous circumstances and all, but I think the lack of mental maturity among most younger generations in our society seems to be a major factor.

 

No, you can never be sure....but I think if you have enough life and relationship experience, you generally will have a VERY good idea of whom is going to be a suitable partner, and a better idea of what the difference between lust and love is, and what it takes to make that lifelong commitment.

 

Perhaps. I mean I also know many women whom WANT to marry their partners, and their boyfriends are stalling 5+ years on, as they see no really "need" too.

 

I would say however it's not true for all cases that it is a lack of maturity. Especially not as many of the couples I have seen whom DID get married very young were definitely not making it out of a "mature decision". I think sometimes saying "I am not ready at this time in my life" versus "I want a wedding and cake and presents!" is far more mature. Nor do I think getting married because "its the next step" without really WANTING that next step is a mature decision. These are the couples that often end up back in divorce court.

 

I COULD of gotten married much younger, but there was no way that it was with the right person, or for the right reasons. Waiting for me IS a mature decision.

[Kevin T]

Perhaps. I mean I also know many women whom WANT to marry their partners, and their boyfriends are stalling 5+ years on, as they see no really "need" too.

 

I COULD of gotten married much younger, but there was no way that it was with the right person, or for the right reasons. Waiting for me IS a mature decision.

 

Why buy the cow, right?

 

And same with me. I almost made what would've been the BIGGEST mistake of my life, a couple years ago. I almost certainly would have been divorced now, had I married my ex-fiancee. So, I understand what you're saying.

 

But I do believe that if people were more ready to handle the responsibilites of marriage at a younger age, then delaying marriage would be less of a commonality.