Signs of Cheating....

[icanttakeitanymore]

Can ya'll please just give me any/all/and every sign of cheating? So I know I'm just freaking myself out!!

 

Thanks.](*,)

[annie24]

they become more distant

they don't want sex as often

they start using new moves in bed suddenly

they start acting secretive

they start becoming more conscious of looking-good, dressing up

strange excuses

they don't want to see you as often

 

what is going on in your situation?

[Lady Bugg]

Hmmmm....

 

Suddenly "working" late but never seems to answer the "work" phone...

 

Sudden attention to wardrobe, working out more, wearing hair gel

(when they never did before).

 

They get overly defensive when you ask them a simple question about

what they did or who they were with...

 

They send you flowers or buy you a gift out of the blue. (Usually to

assuage their guilt).

 

They are secretive with their phone or pager. Walking away or out of the room to talk when they never had a problem with it before.

Or they make it a point to turn it off or on silent/ vibrate ....

 

Those are a few but I'm sure there are more...

[robowarrior]

I apply the rule ' innocent until proven guilty ' , so don't go acting like a victim of the paranoid and trust your partner. Im not saying trust everything and everyone, what i am saying is that 'everyone' deserves at least one chance ,and its good to be at least a little sceptical about everything,but don't overdo it by suddenly accusing people, how much it sucsk if you get accused for something you didn't do is something you only know when it happens to you, i got accused for stealing twice, if you have conclusive proof that a person is doing something behind your back then its fine if you break up, the line between paranoia and concrete evidence is thin. Be sure you don't go overboard.

[Lady Bugg]

Good advice Robo...but I'll add this: Trust your instincts. Women have an impeccable sixth sense about being cheated on. Whatever it is, we HAVE it.

My father cheated on my mother for years....so I learned from experience. She even gave me some of these clues.

[doyathink]

You can also google this and get a lot of good advice from therapists who have been trained in this field and/or are counselling couples with infidality.

[icanttakeitanymore]

Yeah I don't think I'm going overboard, cause I'm not dead set on "He HAS to be cheating" Just once and a while I get this feeling like he either is hanging out with a girl, or wants to start seeing other girls.

 

I'm probably just freaking myself out cause I am a bit selfconscious.

 

But, lately he's acted like if we're apart, then it's not a big deal. I dunno, some of those things that ya'll listed happen, but then a lot dont.

[annie24]

now, each of the "warning signs" we listed can have a very good reason. ie, maybe he doesn't want to have sex because he is sick or has some family problems he is very worried about. maybe he is dressing better because he has a new job. maybe he doesn't want to answer the phone in front of you because he is planning a surprise for you.

 

but seriously, listen to your gut!

[Beyondthesea]

Wears hair gel? GASP! My bf is cheating for sure

 

Just kidding

[mrrisotto]

Sometimes when they start accusing YOU of cheating...

[skyblue1]

Not wanting sex as much, moody, not seeing you much, not answering your calls

[jchan]

They seem a little reluctant to say "i love you" when you tell them you love them.

 

Or they excessively say their "I love you"'s for no apparent reason

 

They start talking about one night stands

 

They do things they normally wouldn't do for you

 

They hang out with that particular "friend" you're very concerned about more often than not, and they get very defensive when you ask about the "friend"

 

They start complimenting about a particular person and constantly talk about that person

[annie24]

yeah, they may start spending more time with their "friend" and less with you. ie, going to see a movie with their "friend" that you had wished they had invited you to see...

[Rain__man]

I think infidelity is a subject you should address very early into a relationship... just as something to talk about. Being afraid of something amplifies any reason you might have to wonder if you're right, and not having that person's opinion about it from the get-go just gives you more reasons to worry about whether they are capable than if they really are.

[Pinkacorn]

I started working out because my husband thought I could lose some weight - then when I got a major crush on the personal trainer he thought I was cheating on him. I can't feel good about myself without him feeling like I'm going to cheat and have sex. At the same time, the PT's life seems too good to be true - only working on his body and not really having a 9-5 job. I want that life - not the drudgery of this one I've got. So I feel like I'm cheating on my husband by wanting some other life.

and it feels like a kick to the stomach when I see the pT and can't work out with him any more.

[annie24]

Ha! that's what your husband gets for telling you you need to lose weight!

 

On a more serious note, just because you are working out with him doesn't mean you need to sleep with him If you are afraid you will be tempted, how about hiring a female personal trainer?

[D_Cheating Heart]

Since I'm guilty of cheating (sadly enough), here are some things that I've pathetically used:

 

-telling him I'm hanging out with my girlfriends (a lot!).

-when he questions ALLLL my time with my gfs, I get upset with him because it means he won't let me hang out with my girls.

-I stopped caring if I hung out with him.

-When I didn't get it on with my crush, I would call my fiance up and then hang out with him just to make out or something.

-I started dressing up more often and wanting to go out on the town... without boy.

-I always made sure I looked good.

-I don't let him touch my cell phone.

-I always tell him that it's my "gf" calling with personal issues, so "I have to take this call."

-I stopped caring if he called me.

-I stopped caring if I called him.

-I always had something planned, and not with my man.

-All my weekends were taken up to hang out with old/new/college/work friends ... and he wasn't invited.

-I started telling my fiance that he should do this and that with his clothes, personality, style, hair, etc.

 

Sorry, I know it's pretty crappy that I can list these things off for you. But just know that if you think he's cheating, ask him. If he gets defensive right away, something may be up. I know this because I've found myself getting pissed at my fiance easily and quickly.

 

Let us know of an update.

[aaspaas]

anger is one of the signs..they get irritated a lot, try to distance from you, try nt to have conversation wid u..ignore you..stop mixing wid u and family..