Should I quit my job?

[eviljedi]

Hey, I'm looking for some advice here. I have just finished another monotonous day at work and I'm feeling rather depressed. I work in a large supermarket stocking shelves. My actual job I don't mind, it's boring but most part-time jobs are.

 

The main reason I hate it is because of the people that work there, namely one of my bosses.

 

For a start, I don't like being bossed around by women (it's not a sexist thing, I just get annoyed when a women is barking orders at me). She is very dominate and controlling. I'm 18, yet she treats me like a little child. She treats me like I’m retarded sometimes. I have worked there for over a year now and I feel like she is brainwashing be to become shy. When she’s not around I feel relaxed and confident, but when she is there I feel tense and timid. I don't know why. I have started breaking out of this, but she's treated me this way for so long I think it has affected the way I react around her.

 

I have a similar relationship with her that I had with my high-school teachers. I could never bond with them because I knew they were a higher authority. I didn't feel free to speak my mind in front of them, because they had the power to punish me. Other students would talk to their teachers the same way they would talk to their friends.

 

Once I left high school my confidence sky rocketed. The shackles of my old teachers had been lifted and I was free. Now I have this job, this boss has taken the place of the teachers.

 

Another reason I hate her is because when she is around I feel like I need to impress her. I don't talk to anyone else when she is there and I do my work. Other people in work have started to think I am anti-social.

 

I know these problems are nothing to do with her but they way I see her as an authority figure in my head. I don't know how to resolve this problem. If I get a new job I will get a fresh start and I can be more social with my new boss (perhaps).

 

 

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

 

Any advice, please.

 

Thanks

eviljedi

[Phoenix69]

Before moving onto another job, you should address the problem first. What happens if in your next job, it is a woman who is an authority figure, and you run into the same problem again? Another thing I was told when I was younger and into "job hopping" is that you should never leave one job until you have secured one someplace else.

 

Do any of your other fellow workmates have the same problem with her?

[orgasmictofu]

Do you hate all women in an authoritative position? Or do you hate the woman you work under?

 

If it's the former, you're in for a big shock: half of the world'd population is female. Half of your bosses (well, it's getting closer to that number anyway) will be women. Get used to it.

 

If you just don't like your boss, find something else. You're not looking for an executive position here, it should be fairly easy to find something else. Even if it's just stocking shelves for another store.

 

ETA: It's fine to not like your boss. Even if she happens to be a chick. What's not ok is not liking her as a manager BECAUSE she's a woman. I've had plenty of female bosses I didn't like. I didn't like the way they ran things. There were also plenty of male bosses that I didn't like.

[Lady Bugg]

Hmmmmm. I am a female boss and this post is somewhat interesting.

 

Was your mother or someone in your family controlling or dominating?

Some people have a problem with Authority figures, regardless of the gender..but because you say it's because she is Female..that is a whole other can of worms.

 

I agree, having someone bark orders at you and make you feel dumb

is a DEFINETE reason to feel like you can't be yourself. Is she like this with OTHER employees, or do you feel like she's singled you out? If it's the latter, then I would bring it to her attention...I employ four people and I am always asking for feedback from them on how I'm doing. She may not even realize she does this. If you don't feel comfortable talking to her, perhaps you could talk to someone else in Management. If nothing else..at least she will be aware of it.

[Batya33]

In short, it's called pay your dues. Of course authoritative doesn't have to be obnoxious. I am a boss - the work needs to get done - I do my very best to foster a teamwork approach that includes respect and accountability - but yes once in awhile if someone who I delegate to is slacking off I have to pull rank a bit. It is not something I enjoy in the least - I am not looking for power, but just to get the job done.

 

what I would do is tune out the annoying tone/word choice as much as possible and see if you can learn something from her even if you learn that you would do things differently. Someday you will be a boss and you need to develop those skills over a looongg period of time, believe me.

 

As far as being social at work - it's almost better not to be if you work in an environment where there is a lot of gossip.

[alteer]

Hmmmmm. I am a female boss and this post is somewhat interesting.

 

I'm also a female boss. I'm the ONLY female in the company. And I have to say that it is I who was treated like I was retarded for a long time. I had to prove myself, whereas the men never did.

 

If it's a problem with women that you have, then you should really get over it. You're only 18, there are alot of female bosses out there who clawed their way to top.

[eviljedi]

Okay, it's nothing to do with the fact that she's a female. I also have a male boss who I act the same way around but I don't see him very often due to my shifts.

[AwdreeHpburn]

eviljedi - I too think you should bring this to your boss's attention. She may not even be aware of how she's making you feel. And i think you should whether you leave or not.

 

Doing so would be a very confident, grown up thing to do. It may shock her that you're capable but also may help her in her management style.

 

If you like your job tho - don't quit cos of her. Try to work it out with her first...

[orgasmictofu]

Okay, it's nothing to do with the fact that she's a female.

 

I based my response on this:

 

For a start, I don't like being bossed around by women

 

So you don't like being bossed aroung by THIS woman. The way you worded it made it inclusive of ALL women, which seemed harsh.

 

Now that that's cleared up, carry on

 

Honestly dude, you're 18, you can hate your job and move on. I have quit jobs over bad management. I've had a number of jobs since I've been 15. You're a teenager, noone really expects you to be loyal to one place for more than maybe a year or so. If you have a new job every 3 months, I'd be worried, but no entry level minimum wage job is going to turn you away because you quit a job. Every interviewer that has asked me why I have so many jobs, I told them honestly it was time for me to move on and I was offered a position more suited to my talents. I have never been turned down for a job I applied for.

 

Good luck bro

[sir sirloin]

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just

go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the

American way."

 

You aren't american but I'm sure it still applies.

[ld25]

This was the exact thing that happened to one of my friends. He was down with flu and he informed the boss of his intention to take off. However, they insisted that he still has to work and he went in for half day and he couldn't continue. So he left home. He didnt work the next day. When he went in for his next shift, his boss had warned him for a disciplinary action.

 

I dont understand why he should be "tortured" if he was sick and well he went in for atleast half day despite his sickness.

 

Since the 'threat', he didnt go back to work. He's on a permanent contract and he's almost lost his job now. I advised him to approach another manager or to seek help, but his boss is the girl friend of the senior manager there.

 

I thought his boss was the only person with such an attitude but apparently there seems to be others in the list!

 

My sincere advice, DONT QUIT!!! Be brave and face it! They won't eat you! Why should you lose your job b'cos of your boss's extreme authority over you?

 

LD

[mikeca]

Hey, I'm looking for some advice here. I have just finished another monotonous day at work and I'm feeling rather depressed. I work in a large supermarket stocking shelves.

 

 

wow! I've been at that job (safeway) for 4 years now...and the last 7 months i've been saying if something comes up I'll quit...but its either i work @ 11.00hr or start somewhere new for less...thats the one thing thats holding me in still. I think its time though that I start looking harder for higher paying work. and you should too..the supermarket was good when I was in school but now its horrid