Attraction

[monkey1]

What attracts you to your older/younger partner? Whether it's physical or emotionally, etc.

[tmp0620]

I don't know but it sure bugs me when girls my age try to go for older guys. Girls that go for older guys are EASY targets for those guys.

[shes2smart]

My husband's 11 years younger than me.

 

I met him online. We chatted a few times & he asked me out. I knew when we talked on the phone I was in trouble.

 

Why? Because he could keep up with me verbally. I tend to be quick-witted and I also tend to change conversations topics frequently and with no warning. I'm used to having to back up and explain, but I don't like to have to do that on a regular basis. So, like I said, he could keep up with me, trade witty remarks/verbal banter, and follow along when I made the leap to a different topic.

 

He finds it easy to keep up with me, because he tends to think along the same lines. So, on the other side of things...he likes talking to me because he feels I can keep up with him.

 

The other major thing we have in common is that we had emotionally very similiar childhoods. Our parents were screwed up in similar ways and neither of us has any contact with our respective parents anymore. This has resulted in both of us feeling that we are understood by the other in some very deep, unexplainable way that previous partners have not been able to. We have an understanding of what each of us needs in order to feel loved and accepted by the other because neither of us got it growing up.

 

He says he was attracted to me physically from the first pic of me saw. For me, his physical appearance wasn't as important as the fact that he engaged my brain first. He verbally sparred with me and made me laugh...as long as he didn't have a third hand growing out of his forehead, I was quite likely to find him attractive.

[FCTex]

I'm attracted to older women personally.

 

I've dated younger and none really seemed to match me. I've had to grow up fast, and because of it, I think that I'm years ahead of everyone whose technically my age.

 

I might be 21.. But I feel 25.. In terms of what I do, what I have, and how I act.

 

The women my age, go bar hopping Fri-Sun, and sleep in till noon, and go to class..

 

I wake up at 6am, work from 8-5, and take care of bills, car notes, rent, groceries, and other things..

 

I like older women, not only because of the stigma of an older woman, but just the settled aspect of their lives, that and they know what they want, they don't play alot of the crappy games sometimes.. SOMETIMES!!

[monkey1]

IronLion ... why does it bother you if women your age are attracted to older men?

 

I think for me, I never thought I'd be attracted to older men, much less be involved with one. It's strange in that he and I are 15 years apart, come from different cultures, childhoods, countries yet really enjoy each other's company and get along great.

 

We actually met through our blogs by accident. I was attracted to him physically at first and as we started to talk, we both felt attracted to each other mentally. It's great to find someone you click.

 

FCTex ... I agree with you about how older people just know what they want and don't play games. Or at least some do!

[doyathink]

My SO is several years younger and I do tend to like the younger guys. They tend to be able to "keep up" more often but some are really immature and it gets in the way.

[MacGyverRI]

I'm 52 (but don't look or act it) and seem to attract more 28-40 yr olds than any other age group. Women in my age group look and act old

 

My ex is 14 yrs younger (breakup caused by crooked cops), the GF before her was 17 yrs younger.

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hey,

 

I have always been attracted to guys older than me. The guy I'm deeply attracted to now, is 32 and I'm 17.

 

I don't quite understand why, but I cannot have relationships with boys my age. I have tried but I can never find a connection that I feel comfortable with. I reckon it comes down to maturity to be honest.

 

I suppose older guys are more romantic and more experienced with relationships.

 

I prefer to have a relationship with a person I can truly confide in, someone who will understand me and will comfort me when I need it. I don't seem to get that with boys my age.

 

By the way, I apologize if it sounded as though I have judged people in this post. It was not my intention. This is just my opinion.

 

Miya xx

[YankeeGirl02]

My attraction has nothing to do with his age at all. It's just his overall personality and (initially, yes) his looks that attracted me to him. The fact that he's older (not by much) hasn't got much to do with it.

[Mysterious Gurl]

I guess that it's down to the individual. Everyone is different to what they find attractive or not.

[thyroxine]

Other than their maturity, I just like the gray hair! I'm usually more physically attracted to older men. I don't know why really...it's just what I like!

[ChicagoGal]

I agree with things said by others. I have been attracted to men my own age and well as men not my own age. I'm not attracted to them simply because they are older.

 

The man I am currently attracted to is about 7-8 years older than I. And it's not that he IS a few years older, but just the fact that he is who he is. But I act a few years older than I really am (this statement has been said by others), and similarily, he can be a little immature so we're sort of at the same points in our lives maturity-wise.

 

Other things come into play, as well. He's highly intelligent and our conversations are about religion, family, culture, society, government, etc. I'm also attracted to the fact that he isn't from the US (he grew up in a country that was Communist until the downfall in 1989) so the fact that he came from the other side of the world (and thinks very liberally) intrigues me and thrills me as well. But then again, this wouldn't fall under age-gap, this would fall under "why American women find European men so thrilling".

 

He, being very smart, probably realizes I like him a little more as a friend, but that's all we are: friends. Ahh well, even if that's all we become, at least I am having the chance to get to know him. He's a peach, though!

[CarnelianButterfly]

I enjoy older men mainly because they are more mature, at least the ones I like are. I know what I want in life, I guess you could call me driven, but the men I know that are my age are still finding themselves and they don't have much direction beyond having sex and showing off. I'm not interested in playing surrogate mommy either, I don't want to raise my SO. The majority of men I come accross don't have the same interests as me either, I prefer classic art and literature and have little care for pop culture, while most of the guys I know say "Yeats who?" My attraction is based on intellect and maturity, I'm not prejudice against men my age, but they don't really have what I want in a partner.

[MacGyverRI]

What attracts you to your older/younger partner? Whether it's physical or emotionally, etc.

 

For me it's the face 1st, reasonable body 2nd, then a comparable high IQ and that alone eliminates 80%+ of the women out there.

[melrich]

For me it's the face 1st, reasonable body 2nd, then a comparable high IQ and that alone eliminates 80%+ of the women out there.

 

That's so cute.

 

Very nicely put.

[Johnathan]

I love women who are a few years older than me. I just seem to be at the same level mentally. For one, I've never been a player type and am tired of seeing all these 18-21-something girls out there who are just out to play guys or get played. The older ones have come to see how immature it is. Even if they still like partying, they're usually more down to earth and see the value in being down to earth and intellectual, which the younguns don't. I've always been much more interested in having one serious partner than bunch of flings and the older ones usually feel the same.

I've been involved with two who are 2 years older than me...one of them I thought was going the GF route before it ended. There's a girl at my work who's 4 1/2 years older than me who I'd love to pursue if we didn't work together.

[Tylin]

but the men I know that are my age are still finding themselves and they don't have much direction beyond having sex and showing off. I'm not interested in playing surrogate mommy either, I don't want to raise my SO.

 

Well put!! Ugh, the show-offs. Talk about a turnoff

[phantomwolff85]

I just find older men so much more physically attractive than younger guys. I think younger guys are aesthetically pleasing, but they don't turn one like older guys do. I also like that older guys are more together and stable and don't play games. They've usually sowed their wild oats.

[mccarleighp]

i like older men because i find them to be more on me wave if u know what i mean but just because i like older men does not mean i would not go out with someone younger age is just a number at the end of the day

[MiaLeah]

I actually can't pinpoint the reason I'm always attracted to older men. So far, they've been the only ones I really get along. I never feel as if I'm on the same level when I'm with guys my own age. Most of the things I'm involved with cause me to associate with people who are older than be anyway, so I'm just used to it. I'm 18 and dating a 33, soon to be 34 year old now. When I was 15 I was in love with a 38 year old. I made the mistake of telling him, which didn't work in my favor.

[tmp0620]

IronLion ... why does it bother you if women your age are attracted to older men?QUOTE]

 

Well I can actually understand it, but I'm more mature than anyone else I know that's my age so I feel like I'm being ripped off when girls my age that I'm attracted to go for older guys because they're "mature", when I'm more mature than most of them by far.

[FCTex]

It's just the case of age really. Majority of people put maturity with age, and vice versa... While most the time it SHOULD be the case, it usually isn't... It varies on the person....

 

I usually find myself with women around my age. I have better luck with younger women( again, them lookin for a supporter/mature figure), then I do with older ones, even considering my girlfriend now is older than I am.