Changing bad boys....

[chocolate1]

They say sumtimes the right girl can change a bad boy...

 

Wat do u think?

 

Well my friend used to be quite a bad boy since he was always with different girls....but he was a total gentleman. But this one girl came along...and now they are best friends and he is crazy about her..

 

So i think it is possible to change a bad boy....with sum love

[Dako]

I've seen it happen to a close friend of mine, and he's been pretty docile ever since.

[itsallgrand]

I've seen it happen too. What I notice though, is that it is usually a woman who isn't attracted to the 'bad boy' aspect. At least - she'd want him regardless. There is something deeper going on, and the dude starts straightening up somewhat.

[teacup]

no. no. no.

[chocolate1]

I've seen it happen too. What I notice though, is that it is usually a woman who isn't attracted to the 'bad boy' aspect. At least - she'd want him regardless. There is something deeper going on, and the dude starts straightening up somewhat.

 

ye i completely agree. The bad boy has to have sumthing more meaningful and deeper with the girl to change.....

 

I think the girl kinda takes a chance by falling for a bad boy...hoping that she will be able to change him.

[itsallgrand]

Yeah, or loving him as is. I'm talking of 'bad boys' that are a bit wild, but actual decent men.

 

but not criminals cheaters and that sort. that's a whole different ballgame. lol.

[orgasmictofu]

I think it is absolutely rediculous to go into a relationship with the mindset and goal of changing the other person. You accept them for what they are, never try to change someone. You can both compromise, but to fundamentally change oneself because someone wants it is ludicrous.

 

That being said, there is nothing wrong in my opinion with wanting to better yourself for someone. If normally all you do is sit on your butt and moan about how your life sucks without ever trying make something of yourself, and you decide to turn over a new leaf for another person, that's fine by me.

[tylercdurden2004]

Does being with "different" girls constitute "bad boy"? I am a bit confused.

[Dako]

I have a different take on this subject.

Instead of trying to make up a theoretical example, I'll use....me.

 

I had very long hair, a beard, and wore jeans, tees and boots, wore a smelly leather jacket, smoked cigarettes and spouted some hateful nonsense about women, drank like a fish and took lots of drugs, rode a bike and got speeding tickets. My friends were very similar, and there was always some drama going down. I'll leave out the heavier stuff.

She knew that wasn't who I was, just a outer shell to protect and amuse myself. Much of the change I went through was only appearance, and the mind-altering was wearing me out anyway.

I didn't want her to get infected by my world, so I shifted away from worrying her with my nonsense. I have to say the change wasn't so much her doing, as my urge to protect her.

 

She knew me pretty well before we started dating, and I was pretty amazed she'd even be seen with me. After a while I wanted to keep her away from my more colorful friends.

[itsallgrand]

Bingo Boom Boom...Dako is talking 'bad boy' the way I see it. A little mussed up and a little wild. But good.

 

Sleeping around and landing in jail is 'dirt boy'. lol.

 

But seriously, course you don't or shouldn't try to change someone. But I guess what I wanted to say through all the semantic unclarity is:

If you love a guy with some outer roughness but can see the goodness that shines beyond it, there is hope. Such things can work out.

[chocolate1]

Does being with "different" girls constitute "bad boy"? I am a bit confused.

 

no...but there are many guys out there who are loyal to one girl...so compared to them others are 'bad boys'

[tylercdurden2004]

no...but there are many guys out there who are loyal to one girl...so compared to them others are 'bad boys'

 

Dating one girl and dating variety of girls is different altogether than being in an exclusive relationship and banging other girls. I am unsure of what kinda bad boy you are referring to but in general if someone comes along and the "bad boy" wants to be with her then he will change his "bad" ways. Its not something the girl can do its something the "bad boy" decides is best for him. So no you cannot change a "bad boy".

[Phoenix69]

I successfully changed a bad boy. My BF used to do all the things your typical "Bad Boy" would do, drinks, drugs, cheating, disrespect, etc. After being with him for two years, he is not that guy anymore. He realised that if he wanted to be with me, hten some of those things would have to change

[yeawutever]

It all depends on the both the boy and the girl. If she's patient enough to commit to him and sees him as something else, then fine. If the guys does indeed want to also commit, then he'll change for the better.

[agent1607307371]

While I don't think you can change someone I believe people are completely capable of changing themselves, the incentives may vary be it wanting to be better for a woman or other reasons.

 

I've seen people better themselves to attract others, I've also seen them 'lessen' themselves, it can work both ways unfortunately.

[CluelessGuy321]

The only one who can change a bad boy is another bad boy who kicks his butt.

[RayKay]

Never, ever go into a relationship hoping to change someone.

 

If I had a toonie (hey, inflation!) for every time I heard someone say 'well, once he finishes school he'll settle down" or 'well, once we get married, he will change' or 'once the baby is here'...and so on...and well, it never happened - well, I would not be worried about how I would pay for 4 years of law school!

 

You should be with someone for whom they are NOW, plain and simple. think of it like buying something "as is".

 

Of course people can change, but only upon their own incentive, only with their own motivation and for their own sake. Because change when pressured, only creates resentment and often drives people apart.

[orgasmictofu]

You should be with someone for whom they are NOW, plain and simple. think of it like buying something "as is".

 

With no warranty implied or expressed

[RayKay]

With no warranty implied or expressed

 

Nope, but if you decide they have too much work to be done, you CAN put them back on the curb for someone else to have!

[alteer]

No way no how. Once bad always bad.

 

Although I guess it depends how bad. I broke up with one about 10 years ago and he's been in and out jail since. I think most of that 10 yrs has been in jail...........don't know what the hell I was thinking. He is and always was a complete freak!!

[Derek]

No.

 

Once you "fix" the Bad Boy. He leaves you for someone better.

 

 

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Hmmmm I think you can. Love is like that though, it brings out the best in people. But i think if a girl can change a "badboy" then he has to be a better person underneath it all. Thats what i think anyway.