break up 2 weeks ago.. ready to date?

[Massari]

she ignored me all of sudden.. removed me out of her life. its painful but unfortunately the only way I see it would get better is to start seeing other ppl. I got a date today/tomorrow (its not fixed yet) ppl tell me that I still have strong feelings for my ex and I would be lying if I say I don't. But why not date others and start something else just for the hope and the possibility that ex might come back and I would chose my ex over the current one? any ideas? this past week has been hell on earth for.. depression .. crying and missing her alot.. and finally today I started to not miss her atleast pretend to not to.

[Mrocza]

I don't think dating is a good option.

 

You're not being fair to yourself in giving yourself time to fully heal and not being fair to the girl you're going on a date with because you're still very much into your ex and still very hurt.

 

I know it hurts, I know it totally sucks but unless you deal with it now and try to get over it, it won't go away. You should be dating for you, not to get your mind off her or to get her jealous.

[iceberg21]

Although it would INITIALLY numb your pain, it's usually a temporary thing when you're not over her just yet. Thats not to say if you have a date, you shouldn't necessarily go, but under no circumstance should you try to develop something serious. Go out, make a new friend and thats it. Don't try and trick yourself into thinking you're over her. If you truly believe you are, then go to it. Nobody can tell you if you're over her or not, but based on your past threads, I'm not convinced another serious relationship would be in your best interests this soon.

 

But good luck with your date, have some fun.

[Massari]

my ex lives far from me.. 40 min drive soI won't see her anywhere.. you know its a matter of self confidence.. I feel like I have nothing left for me.. I kinda lost my respect and my pride to my ex..,,being so nice to her.. never yell at her.. always agree to what she wants.. loved her.. spent so much on her, gave her the world and she took all that for granted by saying that she needs time to think things over ..and that she thinks we are moving fast and she doen't want things to get rushed between us.. and now she is NC.. not returning my calls.. anything.. so why waste my time and stay hopeful.. I gotta moveon with my life

[chai714]

Max,

 

Don't date while you're emotionally low. For one, you can't be on top of your game and appear completely confident and comfortable. Two, it won't make you feel better for the long run. Listen, no human is replaceable, period. It's understandable you're trying to fill the emotional void left by your ex but dating immediately following a breakup isn't good. Instead, work on yourself and find ways to make your life happy and enjoyable alone. Once you have a better sense of independent happiness then you'll be a lot better off in the dating scene. Good luck.

[Lansing]

yeah, if you had yelled at her, you would be together still.....!!! yikes!! Seriously, the first gf breakup is usually the hardest... I sense that you fell for the idea of you girlfriend and not so much for her as a person.. It seemed like you really wanted a "girlfriend"..... I think you need to step back a bit and try not to fill a void in your life with a girl...You should be happy single before you date...

[heloladies21]

Dude, get out there and date. It's the best thing you could do for yourself right now. It will help you feel better about yourself and bring your self esteem back up, plus it's not as if going on a date with someone automatically means you're going to get into a relationship with them. It's just a date, for fun. Nothing serious just yet.

[renaissancewoman101]

If you are still very depressed about the breakup and still have feelings for the ex, I would advise that you NOT go out and date. In your current emotional situation you run the risk of hurting other people in your quest for dating. You may meet a girl and hit it off real well and start dating, but if you still have strong feelings for the ex, you may very well hurt the new girl you are dating or hanging out with. That is called a rebound and women hate guys who do that.

[Dating Coach]

Have fun. It's not like you are making this girl your new girlfriend. Just go and have fun!

[kellbell]

Max,

 

Just go out and have fun man! Nothing serious, go out and meet tons of women. Just don't make this girl you are going out with this weekend the center of your life. Go with no expectations...have fun. Good luck!

[PocoDiablo]

I'd say go out with your *friends* and have a good time.

 

If you are on a date with another woman, lemme tell you one thing: Do *NOT* talk about your ex, other women, and don't fall apart! Don't make her have to be a therapist. Keep it light and fun.

[Massari]

thank you very much.. all. it wasn't really a date today.. someone messaged me . and I suggeste we go for icecream .. she has studies we talked a little and then we will meetup soon for a proper date. but the thing is I felt nothing romantic. infact I was thinking about my ex and how much I miss her.. even tried to think about her nagatives and how she not talked to me about what ever it was that she was happy.. did not work. so it pretty much sucked.. yes she was interested in me but I dunno how I feel right now.. never been so confused. and dammmn I miss her so much,,

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

i don't believe in the blanket prescription for this that people say, one should not date right after a relationship, because i know that there are times when a person is perfectly ready. however in your case you do not sound to be at all ready to date. it sounds to me like you would be using other women for one purpose or another and that's not really fair to them. you need to center yourself more before you date.

[Massari]

i don't believe in the blanket prescription for this that people say, one should not date right after a relationship, because i know that there are times when a person is perfectly ready. however in your case you do not sound to be at all ready to date. it sounds to me like you would be using other women for one purpose or another and that's not really fair to them. you need to center yourself more before you date.

 

the purpose if you mean is sex.. you should know.. I never had sex before.. not even with my gf.. I mean yeah we were heading down that road. we had plans to go to montreal. no I wouldn't just be sleeping around if thats what you are implying

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

the purpose if you mean is sex.. you should know.. I never had sex before.. not even with my gf.. I mean yeah we were heading down that road. we had plans to go to montreal. no I wouldn't just be sleeping around if thats what you are implying

 

no actually i did not mean sex.

[Massari]

no actually i did not mean sex.

 

ok then,, my bad.. but I do see where you are coming from. but if we do click on certain lever that need for my ex would gradually decrease I think ( I do not know however since she was my first GF and this is my first break up) I mean I will drang a woman along if I know I am not attracted to them and so I wouldn't be playing around, but I do want to date as much as possible and then settle down with one . does that sound selfish?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

no, that does not sound selfish, when people are single there's nothing wrong with dating around. the whole idea is to get an idea of what you do and don't like, and value in a partner. and also of course to have fun in the meantime. i don't understand how some people come up with concepts like if you date someone, you must thereforeeee be in love with them, and be having sex with them, and be in an exclusive relationship with them. its not that al all. a date is a date is a date. go out, and have fun. just don't use women to help you get over your ex, ok? try to be aware of what's going on.