Is This Normal?

[magnus28]

Is it normal to be that hurt and depressed after a break up of 4.5 years that u can have trouble sleeping and just waking up earlier than expected. Also having muscel aches in my neck since the breakup? anyone ever experince this and how do u overcome this pain of loss?

[laura_5000]

Yes it is normal to feel hurt and depressed after a break up. I was in a relationship for three years and when we split up it was the worst pain I have ever experienced to be honest.

 

How do you overcome this pain of loss? To be honest there isn't really anything you can do other than take every day as it comes.

I tried going out more, which sometimes made me forget but sometimes made me more depressed.

I tried staying in which made me feel even worse, I tried getting with someone else which didn't help.

 

I'm sorry I can't suggest anything but I asure you it will become easier in the end. It was obviously not ment to be and you will find someone better.

[Lita43]

Sure it's normal to feel sick after a break-up, but back in the day I didn't have a supportive place to go to "like this" and I guess You are just that lucky!

 

Love pain hurts more than anything I can think of and I would say that it doesn't even matter who you have a Love for! Mom, Dad, Siblings, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Relatives or whomever!!!

 

Love is Love, Pain is Pain!!!

 

Having somebody to talk to about it is always a plus, but best directed to other relatives or people who know your family, as it's hard for us on the forum to figure out what the technical details are.

 

I am an advocate on this site for preaching self-esteem, self-worth, talking things out with parents that have left you in the lurch and trying to get back to the family in letting them know how you feel.

 

Whether this works or not, it's always worth a try, because they are your parents. It was a job that they were supposed to do and if they didn't do it some years ago, try them again!!!

 

Hopefully they learned over the years and it's worth a shot!!!

 

Good Luck and Try The Most Important Dialogue! You might have a change to reconnect with your family, so "Go There!!!!"

 

Sincerely, Lita~

[SxcLady]

Yes laura is right, just try to take your mind off the ex for awhile a day atleast. Atleast an hour a day if you can. Do something you enjoy doing with a few friends. Talk about whats been going on ... not including the ex or the same gender as your ex (sorry i dont know if you are male or female).

Laura is right in saying it will become easier, and she is correct it will definitely become easier. But there is no easy way to just get over someone. It takes time and a long process of hurt and depression in many cases.

[magnus28]

i think the hardest part is during work when it becomes hard to focus cause im so used to getting emails from her

[Spawn]

perfectly normal.

 

i have had all those pains, lost weight, never wanting to leave the bed, hated just about doin everythin..

 

Things get better thou slowly....

[magnus28]

im so tempted to contact her but after the last conversation i think its a mute point

[SxcLady]

Good ... dont contact her!!! You will feel better later if you dont contact her now. You will feel worse later if you do contact her now! which would you rather?

[Cassie]

Hi Magnus.

 

I've started sending little emails to myself. Every time I torture myself by checking my mail to see if I've received anything from my ex, I have little 'reminders' waiting on what I could be doing instead.

 

It has actually helped somewhat!

[magnus28]

yeah well actually i have acting class to go to later but i dont know if ill be mentally there. i think keeping myself busy is a good thing but its hard keeping that what if i call and see if i can do this and that to get her back.

[magnus28]

has anyone realized when was the first day that they started to feel better?

[rosstheboss]

Yes! For me it was just the other night.

My friend was asking who all went to this show I was at and the last name she said was my ex and I was like 'Who?'. She then said 'Your ex dummy!'. I felt great that even her name doesn't instantly remind me of her anymore!

 

Good luck

[magnus28]

how long had u 2 been apart?

[SxcLady]

Removed....

[magnus28]

im starting to feel less hurt and more angry about the whole thing

[SxcLady]

Why are you feeling more anger than hurt???

[magnus28]

cause a few days b4 the breakup we were talking about how we wer going to spend my upcoming bday then a few days later we argued and thats when she said it was over. just yesterday i got my stuff back that was at her house from UPS and when i talked to her MOnday she said she was almost over me and hadnt thought abt me.. how should i take that

[SxcLady]

ok take it as anger if thats your way of dealing with it. Forget about what she said!

[magnus28]

so ur saying what she said was just smoke and mirrors

[magnus28]

i cant help to contact her to see if she is having second thoughts. it hard to focus here at work.

[magnus28]

one of the though things i think will be what im going to do 4 my bday now that she is gone. i know that day might be rough too/

[magnus28]

ended NC yesterday and she basically said she isnt in love with me anymore and that she doesnt love me anymore. 3 weeks ago she as planning my bday now this. we broke up and she has said she doesnt think we r meant 4 one another and that its more than me not being ready to marry. how can someone go from wanting to marry a person to breaking up than 3 weeks later say she doesnt love me anymore? how can i deal with this

[magnus28]

im really up and down. with this one moment im thinking maybe we werent meant to be and another moment im beating myself up for not doing the things to keep the relationship going. does anyone else feel like that?