Emotionally dependant...lonley...help!!!

[Yvette84]

Well.....I made a dumb mistake again!! and started dating a guy RIGHT after a horribly painful breakup. I ALWAYS do this, and it just causes more and more pain. This new relationship just ended HORRIBLY!! then the same thing happens. I get majorly depressed, these are the issues

 

I can't stand being single!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel I NEED to be in a realtionship!!!!

if I'm not with a guy, I feel useless and like I have no life

when I am with a guy...I let my emotions take control of me

I move toooooo fast...start making plans and falling in love...I get attatched VERY easily and quickly!!!

I can't stand being alone...I get so, well,....lonlely!!!!!!

all I can think about is finding the next guy....then I'll be "happy"

when I am with a guy...it's my whole life!!! so when it ends.....aaahhhh

mainly the problem I want to get over, is letting my emotions take over, to stop crying,to be content single and to not feel such a NEED to be emotionally dependant on a guy.

 

any advice is appreciated!!! thank you

[teacup]

pm me. we can talk. im the same way. i am so dependent on men. what is wrong with me??!! wahhhhhhhh!!!!!

[ElektraHere]

It sounds to me that you have tendancies towards co-dependency. Search for posts about co-dep and that may give you some insight on how to break these habits.

[ElektraHere]

Check this out...

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[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

don't be too hard on yourself, but you really do need to find a center within yourself. i wish i could help more but imho, you must do it yourself. it's my opinion that only when no one helps us, is how we can truly be independent and centered in life. you have to experience pain, and pick yourself up and right yourself, in order to realize that you can live with it. i'm sorry that's probably not what you want to hear right now, but i am telling you for your own best interest, and it is the truth.

[spunkmaster]

I was the same way. I was in a 2.5 year relationship; he cheated, we broke up. Started dating the next guy 4 days later, while I was still arguing and dealing with the ex. Ended up dating the new guy for 5 months before he too cheated on me. So with this guy, I made myself go slow and get to know him before we started dating. I told myself I had to have that time to be single, and it was amazing. It gave me a chance to fully clear my head and be able to go into my current relationship with a lot less issues.

[tylercdurden2004]

don't be too hard on yourself, but you really do need to find a center within yourself. i wish i could help more but imho, you must do it yourself. it's my opinion that only when no one helps us, is how we can truly be independent and centered in life. you have to experience pain, and pick yourself up and right yourself, in order to realize that you can live with it. i'm sorry that's probably not what you want to hear right now, but i am telling you for your own best interest, and it is the truth.

 

Yes. Very smart bear! Testing the limits of help or advice.

[Yvette84]

Check this out...

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thanx!! that sounds pretty much like me....

[renaissancewoman101]

Yvette84, I understand how you feel. I get emotionally dependent on people and it is hard for me to make friends because I am afraid to get attached to them and get dependent on them. I also have a bad habit of doing too much for people to the point that it becomes a detriment to me.

[capricorn85]

omg!!! i am the same way I am getting a little better, but once i really like someone I fall hard for them! helllpppppppp

[leroy46]

Have you tried to put all your dependence into the lord? it sounds like you're a believer, so i'm sure you've heard this before. maybe what you need to do is focus on God right now. really invest yourself into him. allow your heart to be healed by god. also, it doesn't hurt to pray about it. ask God to give you wisdom when it comes to relationships, specifically wisdomw hen it comes to decisions about guys. who to date, if you should date, is the time right. we all want to feel love. most of our lives are built off relationships. but my advice to you is to be patient, look to the lord, and your answers will come......and so will a healed heart.