Ex wants me back after 3 months NC. Help!

[LL1979]

Well I've told my story before. In love, gf broke up w me after 9 months cos she kissed another guy. I ended up forgiving her only for her to dump me for the other guy. Then I applied NC for the following 3 months. Well the other night at 4am she phoned me - in floods of tears. She said she made a huge mistake and wants me back.

 

I can't deny that I miss her a lot and I would love to give it another try - but how do I go about this? I don't want her to think I'm ready & waiting when SHE decides she misses me. I don't want to be played for a fool.

 

I told her I'd call in a few days and we'd arrange to go for a coffee or something. I just need these few days to get things straight in my head (and to consult the forum of course). I want to be sure of what I'm doing. She was really cut up on the phone. She's a bit younger and less experienced. I've read posts like this a million times on these forums. I would appreciate some advice if anyone can help.

 

The thought of being with her again is hard to resist. After we split I said to myself that the only way I'd go back was if SHE called ME and admitted her mistake. Well thats happened. But I want to put myself in a strong position. I would like to be sure on how fast or slow to take this. I don't want her to take it for granted if we get back together.

 

PS No Contact is golden.

[xblondyx]

So do you want to get back with her? Yeah, good idea to give it a few days. Phone her or something and arrange to go out to talk. Let her talk, you talk, explain how you feel. If you want it to work and want to be with her, go for it, but with caution. You don't want to end up hurt again.

 

If my ex contacted me after 3 months of NC and said he made a mistake, i would ask to meet up with him and then tell him how bad he hurt me and how i wouldn't want to be hurt again...

 

I'm not actually sure whether getting back together is such a good idea though, you really don't want all of the heartbreak again. Go with your heart i guess and good luck with whatever you do.

[yeawutever]

I dunno about that, you can get hurt again. But yea, if you wanna work it out, do as you say, met her at the cafe. Be more cautious this time.

[DN]

The most important thing is to make she that both of you understand what led her to break up with you and what you can both do to ensure that those issues are fixed and won't reoccur.

[Demond34]

When you did NC for 3 months, did she try and phone you at anytime during it? If so did you answer?

 

The decision comes down to you, if you are willing to put in on the line again. When you did NC, was it ultimately for you to heal or did you have in the back of your mind the hopes she would come back? If it was the latter, you might not of healed as much as you could of or think you did.

[heloladies21]

Naw, you're fine. You're in the right frame of mind and your natural reactions will be the correct ones. Just remember that when you talk to her, never get overly emotional, never lose your cool.

[bobo85]

Unless she is young (because she is still trying to find herself and still seeing what else is out there)... leaving you for someone else is unexcusable. She had a good man and what did she do? She dumped him for another guy that she thought was better but found out after 3 months that he wasn't. What the hell is that?

 

Anyways it sounds like you are going to hear her out but when you do, make sure you are in control but let her do most of the talking. When you guys are finished you can evaluate her true intentions of getting back together.

-Is she just afraid to be alone and need a guy in her life?

-Is she just looking for a quick fix and after she is bored she is gonna leave you again?

-Or does she understand now that she does truly love you and miss you and used her time away from you wisely to figure out what she needs and wants in life?

 

Remember that she will be desperate so she may say things that may seem sincere but may not be true. Whatever you do, make sure that you put yourself first.

[BONO]

Have you read the thread " Sucessfully got your ex back ??"

 

Scruff