Do you ever not return phone calls?

[Lansing]

Just a general question..... Do you ever not return a phone call from someone? I tend to always return phone calls (although, occasionally I don't return e-mails). If someone leaves a message I will call them back within a day. If I can't call them back I will usually send them a quick e-mail or something.

 

I know that the "Rules" book that people followed before told girls not to return phone calls (I guess under the assumption that if the guy is really interested he will call you back again). If I just call a girl for a first time, if I get a answerering machine I will usually try calling her back later and hope to speak to her. However, occasionally I will leave a voicemail.

 

I talked to this girl last week about going out for a coffee this past weekend. But, she was going home for Easter. She said we could get together this week and to call her. I called her again on Monday and left a voice message for her but I haven't heard back from her yet. I am thinking if she was really interested she would call me (she sounded interested on the phone....). If I don't hear back from her by tomorrow I am guessing she won't be calling me back. The other side is that I am thinking she is just avoiding a confrontation...

[coooolsome]

Well, I sometimes dont return phone calls but that is only to my friends. If a girl I was interested in called me, I would make sure to call her back.

 

She might just be busy. You called and left a voicemail so the ball is in her court. Dont call her again for a while and see what happens. Give it like 2 weeks and call her again. If she doesnt answer or never calls back after that then move on.

[bobster]

She could just be busy, or avoiding you, who knows? but like the above says, give it time. I know it can be a painful game but let her call you back. If she doesn't call within the week I'd call her again and if she didn't answer I'd just leave it at that.

 

If you do speak on the phone, be direct about what you have in mind for you guys to do. Don't spend too long talking, keep topics of conversation for when you meet.

 

All the best to you.

[Dating Coach]

Do I ever not return phone calls? Only if I am not interested.

[Lita43]

I don't care how busy somebody is, cuz they'd call if you were the only thing on their mind. We alway's make time for somebody that's unforgettable, even if it's to say that "I have alot to do, but can I call you later and/or what time." Don't put your life on hold or wait for anyone, cuz life is too short to play the waiting game. Lita~

[Lunabelle]

Yes, I am guilty of this.

No, I often do not return phone calls.

Particularly when struggling with depression.

 

It drives my friends and family CRAZY.

And I've lost a fair number of friends this way

I wouldn't necessarily suggest it.

[nogame]

i do this too sometimes, less frequently since i've been in therapy for depression.

[monsieur]

Lunabelle: that is interesting to hear... so if you were into a guy or the guy had a shot with you at the least anyway, is it possible that you would not email or call him for a day or two just because you were feeling down at the time? or anyone else that would like to answer that?

 

I find it hard to understand because my depression rises and falls based on communication.... if I go a day without at least email or texting from a girl I am thinking about, I get really depressed, but it is instantly cured when I do get an email or something..... it amuses me a bit to think about it, because it works like that so well, it makes my emotions so damn vulnerable though, I am weak

[Lunabelle]

Lunabelle: that is interesting to hear... so if you were into a guy or the guy had a shot with you at the least anyway, is it possible that you would not email or call him for a day or two just because you were feeling down at the time?

 

Yes, you understand me perfectly.

 

...a day or two or ten or eighty......even if I regret losing the friend...this is the reality. I am ashamed of it. I am also very tired of trying to explain my depression, most people don't get the depth of it so they really don't understand. Or they think you're referring to the blues, which just is not the same. Particularly hard to come up with excuses for people you don't know too well and don't want to get into the whole depression thing.

 

The problem is that by the time I actually "feel" like interacting with someone, which may be weeks later, they're already pissed off and want to know why I didn't return their call. It's hard to tell them you just don't give a fig about them or anything else when all you really want to do is die.......so you just make lame excuses and hope they buy it.

 

I know, some of you are sitting there saying, call anyway, it doesn't matter how you really "feel" about making the call....well that's true if it's a life-and-death matter, then yes you have to return the call...but if it's not, it just doesn't break through my protective screen. And unfortunately when I have really tried to press myself and be friendly when I feel very UNfriendly, I sometimes say really stupid stuff and things get worse.......yucky.

[yeawutever]

Yea, sometimes I don't return phone calls. If it's a total loser, then why bother, but if it's my friends are a guy I'm dating and liek, then I'll return in right away.

[Lansing]

Well... she didn't call back..... Blah....

 

I guess I was just more curious if girls actually did follow the "rules". Or, if they played games to figure out how interested a guy was by not calling him back and seeing if he calls again. Or, if a girl is shy, would she just wait for the guy to call back again...?

[yeawutever]

Usually the guy calls first. Yea at first I was palying this game of not calling him back, he called like 4 times, and mom would answered it and say I'm not there. Shyness is also another reason, when you feel like you're gonna mess up. Well he did call again, and well I figure it was kinda enough already so I call back.