20/28

[ChicagoGal]

I am currently 20 years old and he is 28.

We met in college. I am an undergrad and he was a grad student. He left college to work.

We still exchange emails after having met, just talking about family life, personal issues, etc. Nothing inappropriate.

We aren't talking about a relationship or anything, but things are personal. Many people, family members especially, have said that I am really mature for my age, and this man has said it as well. It might be just a crush (I often find myself being more attracted to men a little older than I am). I'm wondering if 8 years is too much of a gap between a 20 year old female and a 28 year old man.

I'm especially interested in the opinion of a man around 28; if your friend were 28 and he was dating a 20 year old, what would you think?

 

I'm interesting in anyone's opinion though!

Thanks!

 

Crushing in Chicago

[Lily04]

It shouldn't be a problem, unless one or both of you feel that there is too big of a gap in maturity. The most often problem I've heard for why these relationships don't work is because the partners are in different life stages -- one wants to settle down, whereas the other is just learning to have fun, and just wants to casually date or isn't ready to be serious. One may be ready to establish a steady career, whereas the other one is years off from that. That sorta thing. Ok, so those are the main reasons why it might not work. However, you know yourself & this guy better than us. That said, I have been attracted to a guy around 31 & went out with him for a bit before... and I know others in the same situation -- where they're in their early 20s dating guys in their late 20s. I don't think it's odd at all, personally. I think that as long as you're both in the same mindset it can totally work.

 

The reason why I'm hesitant to date guys in their early 20s is exactly for this reason -- because I tend to think like guys in their mid-late 20s, and it's hard for me to relate. i.e. I'm thinking of my professional ambitions, what to do to reach them, and tend to like "long-term" boyfriends, rather than short flings... so I look for different qualities in men.

 

Good luck.

[Spawn]

I am 28 i dated a girl who is 22.

 

Age was never an issue.

 

My friend is also 28 he is dating a very sweet girl who is 21 and they are together for the last 1 year now. They are going to get engaged this december.

 

now what do i think about it?

 

I just think they are two beautiful human beings very much in love with each other. And being in love is the most beautiful thing to happen to someone.

 

Good Luck and Have fun!

[annie24]

I don't think 20 and 28 is an issue, as long as you two get along well. You are both adults - who cares what your friends think!

[itsallgrand]

If the two of you are good for each other - go for it!

It's a good sign (I think) that you two are discussing the 'big issues': family, work, where you want to be, etc. That'll help a lot.

 

I suppose everyone has their own ideas of who is okay to date and who is inappropriate. But with your ages: it's really a matter of taste and compatibility.

 

best wishes

[Luvtax]

20 and 28 is nothing. Do you hear that? NOTHING.

 

So take the age gap off the table and ENJOY your crush!

[Lily04]

20 and 28 is nothing. Do you hear that? NOTHING.

 

So take the age gap off the table and ENJOY your crush!

 

haha, I totally agree. As long as you two are around the same maturity level, compatible & attracted to each other, I don't see a problem.

[ChicagoGal]

Thanks, everyone! Yeah, I think we're at about the same maturity level. Personally, just going back to something Lily said, I don't have the kind of fun most people in their early 20's have. I don't go out and party at all, don't go to the clubs, don't get drunk for the hell of it, etc. I'm a very committed person, focused on going to medical school when I finish my undergrad. I think we're somehow in the same life-stages; *not looking for as much random, spontaneous "fun", but rather just enjoying the finer points in life

 

Thanks for all of your replies!

[BetterKarma]

I starting dating a 32 year old when I was 24 (8 year gap as well.)

 

Age doesn't matter when you and your partner are in your 20s and up.

 

I wouldn't worry too much about your friends or family, as long as they see how much he loves and adores you, they will be fine with it. As for his friends, I'm sure they're patting him in the back for getting such a young hot girl! My guy's friends were "high-fiving" him when they first met me. Boys will be boys. lol.

 

The only word of caution I would give you is that dating an older guy might mean that he is more set in his ways. It might be harder to make him compromise on certain things that he is use to doing prior to being with you. But other than that, it's like any other relationship.

[Dako]

Maturity is key.

We all know examples of people with maturity that doesn't seem to match their age. This forum is full of young people with more sense than some people twice their age.

[missbrittanyy]

i am 17, and my boyfriend is 26, it's a really huge age difference. especially for a high school girl. because "all older guys want is one thing" .. well not ALL guys just want one thing. some age gap relationships work out just fine, some take a lot more work. the biggest differences me and my bf have noticed is "hey brittany who sings this song.. oh never mind you werent even born" type of thing