He dumped me, he leaves for 2 months Friday, Should I contact him?

[rachaelg]

Hi there,

 

I am sure a few of you remember my story. My bf (well ex) is leaving for Thailand on Friday. He will be gone for 2 months. He broke up with me 1 week ago, and we haven't talked since. THis is the 3rd time in 1.5 years he has broken up with me. (sounds horrible writing that) and he did it in the middle of my 4th year university final exams (i have to write 2 more tomorrow) AND he dumped me in a letter...after we had a great date...he pulled over to drop me off and handed it to me. Sounds like a great guy eh? God. He was though. I really dont understand why he is doing this. I have been NC for 1 week, and have been ok, mainly because I want to really focus on my last finals.

 

HOWEVER....he leaves on friday. For 2 months. I miss him so much, and I am feeling weak, as in wanting to contact him or see him before he leaves. I know that this probably isnt a great idea, and that it would probably make me more sad, but I hate the fact that he is leaving and I dont get to say goodbye. THe reason he broke up with me was because he said it "wasn;t working...that there was something about our personalities that clashes"...that we have tried...I dunno. I disagree, and this was totally a shock for me, I thought he would go away and we were going to stay together, we had talked about it before. When he handed me the letter he was crying and telling me he loved me, but that he needs to do this, cause he knows that it wont work, and this way he wont be able to come crawling back to me (as he will be in Thailand....and the last 2 times he dumped me, i went NC and he came back and begged for me to take him back)

 

I just dont know if i should contact him. I miss him and still love him, but i know that he is a jerk for doing this. Especially during last year university finals... but i dont want to regret not saying goodbye. ANy advice?

[annie24]

he dumped you in a letter, before your exams, and you're wondering if you should contact him????

 

HELL NO!!!!!

 

He's a jerk. Tell his prof about how your ex cheated in his class. uggg!!!

[dontknowwhattodo]

Hi there,

 

People will give you a yes or no on this but do whatever you think is best for you. I can tell you what I would do if I were you. I would be focusing on my finals. After all that is what I would get out off after all these years of studying. He will be gone for 2 months, sounds long but he is not gone forever. If you want to say goodbye, keep it short, light, and upbeat. Wish him a nice and safe trip and don't bring 'us' up. Some thing like hey (his name), I know that you are leaving tomorrow, so I just want to wish you a nice and safe trip. That will leave a room for him to miss you and a positive attitude towards you. Believe me it will do good. Then make use of the time while he is gone to clear your (and his) head and you may get a good news when he comes back, who knows. After all, good luck with the finals.

[jenny_mcs]

I wouldn't contact him. Like others have said, concentrate on your exams.

 

If you poke around on the breakup thread, a lot of people who have just been dumped have all these reasons that they really really want to contact the ex- it's the ex's birthday, they have their books/dvd's/other random possesions, they need to explain something, they need to apologize, they need closure, etc.

 

I think if you contact him to say goodbye, you will be hoping for some response, which you may not get, and you will just feel worse.

 

Your ex leaving for 2 months feels awful, I'm sure, but it might turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Use those 2 months to concentrate on yourself and look at the relationship objectively.

 

If you still feel that you need to contact him, send him a note welcoming him back when he returns.

 

Good luck!

[vesper]

I just dont know if i should contact him. I miss him and still love him, but i know that he is a jerk for doing this. Especially during last year university finals... but i dont want to regret not saying goodbye. ANy advice?

 

Be strong!! Hang in there!!! This is tough, I know it's tough. If anyone should be initiating contact here, it is him, NOT YOU!!! He was a jerk to you and you should not stand for it. Have some dignity here and stay strong....

[itsallgrand]

Because of your reasons for wanting to contact him (you miss him - have hopes still?) I agree with the others.

 

Concentrate on your exams.

 

However, I disagree with being pleasant with him if you write him a letter or contact him. Why would you? He dumped you and you think he did it in a jerk-way (and I tend to agree).

 

Perhaps he knows something you don't. Perhaps this was the best way he could make himself say good-bye so further hurt is avoided in the future.

 

Time to move on. I know that is hard. Good luck!

[Belle]

Rachel,

 

I hope you don't do it. I believe you will seriously regret it in the end. He said goodbye and you should walk in the other direction. If he changes his mind, then worry about it. But he needs to understand the consequences of his treatment of you, especially during this difficult time. It was reprehensible and selfish of him to do it now.