dr_styles Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Well it doesn't help that there's a stereotype (norm?) of teens/young adults just going around partying and "sleeping around". And whilst it's not what we guys are after, still get kinda jealous that they're still making it so easy to get ... something. Increases the feeling of " * * * am I doing wrong (or wrong with me)" Well I just finished reading this massive thread late at night and I gotta get up for work, LOL. My comment though is that I would consider myself pretty "normal" on the outside in terms of confidence. Like right now I'm despairing quite a bit but at work, walking around, or whatever, I still walk normally, looking happy, maybe a few smiles. Anyway my point is more that, people talk about being confident, having interests, etc. but that's irrelevant if you can't get a conversation with them. And the only way they decide their interest in one initially is your looks, cos that's literally all they have. I'm not calling people wrong or anything cos I could keep using these tips. I'm just presenting my view of it for people to critique. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Hey CluelessGuy321, just wondering have you had a date yet? Link to comment
corvidae Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I agree with Tom...there is a definite pattern of men on these threads who cannot get dates. It seems to be a typical male problem. Link to comment
dr_styles Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Well? lol. Same patterns, but also the same general ideas are always posted on eNA. No success with any of them from anyone? Link to comment
SmoothRide Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well? lol. Same patterns, but also the same general ideas are always posted on eNA. No success with any of them from anyone? I've been getting some dates recently, almost all through online personals. I found that women respond best to very non-committal, offbeat messages. I suppose it's the by product of them being approached so often that anything routine is simply boring. Here's a few general rules that have worked for me for initiating online contact: - no specific introduction or goodbye, - don't stress that you have things in common, - don't propose further contact or say that you hope to hear back, - avoid compliments or saying that she sounds smart, - put in a couple of jokes, but not elaborate ones, - write in a tone as if you have talked to her numerous times before - don't be too official, - write more than a one liner, but no more than a short paragraph, One example of what worked for me (and led to a date) was with a girl who had a picture of her roller-skating and she mentioned it as one of her interests as well. My message was something along the lines of: "It's too bad that you don't like roller-skating because I am looking for someone who could give me lessons. Tough luck...". Amazingly it worked. She replied to me and we went on a date a few days later. The girl had hot pictures in her profile so she must have been getting loads of messages. One last point to stress - pretty much all of my advice is counter-intuitive to me and I developed the above guidelines by trying different things, keeping what worked and discarding what didn't. Even now I am sometimes tempted to write a logical message in which I am polite, thoughtful, and sensitive as I am naturally inclined to, but it never works, lol! Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Even now I am sometimes tempted to write a logical message in which I am polite, thoughtful, and sensitive as I am naturally inclined to, but it never works, lol! Isn't that the **** truth, lol. Link to comment
CluelessGuy321 Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 Yeah, I dunno. I guess I been getting out more. Trying to meet new people. link removed link removed link removed link removed Link to comment
perplunk Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 So... What... Not as lonely anymore? /sarcasm Link to comment
CluelessGuy321 Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 All I can do is just try to stay strong. Link to comment
dr_styles Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 OK, spit it out! What did you do? What did you change? Link to comment
Raize Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Yeah, I dunno. I guess I been getting out more. Trying to meet new people. link removed link removed link removed link removed Who's the lucky fella in the pics? Oh, that would be you CG! Socialising: Check. Dress Sense: Check. Charisma: Check. Cute female friends / acquaintances: Check. Unless I am mistaken, even if you haven't got a GF yet, you are more than halfway there to getting one very soon the way you're going. Keep it up, man... Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Uhhhhh ohhhhhh CluelessGuy! You certainly don't LOOK so clueless in those pics! Are you kidding me? You're doing just fine bro! Keep us updated as always. Link to comment
bmmg39 Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 There are people out there far older than you who have never dated or had any sort of romantic interaction. Try not to feel bad. Also remember that if you should fall in love with someone and begin dating her, don't feel pressure to kiss or have sex or anything else. Dating means different things to different people, and you shouldn't try to live by someone else's stupid "rules" about what you are "supposed" to have done by date one or date three or whatever. Link to comment
bmmg39 Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 How is that supposed to help? The guy can barely get a date let alone get a kiss or get laid, and you're telling him not to worry about it because there are bigger losers than him. That's like saying the victims of Hurricane Katrina shouldn't feel bad because there were a whole bunch of them. Odd...I don't remember calling anyone a "loser." I'm in that boat myself, except I'm longing more for romantic and emotional things and I'm not looking for sex or hookups at all. My point was: he was stressing his age (as a lot of people here do) as though he's the only person past age X who's never [whatever]. Sometimes it's good to know you're not alone. (See the name of the site, bub.) Link to comment
Ginger1 Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 guys that can ride a horse, that's kind of awesome! Take a girl out riding and bam, instant love! Link to comment
fish1378 Posted January 1, 2010 Share Posted January 1, 2010 I'm not advertising, really!! Try plentyoffish dating website, I'm having success and it's only been a couple weeks. We might (it sounds pretty definite, but who knows,) meet soon and the only reason it hasn't bee sooner is because she was out of state. The only thing that would keep us from meeting is if I chicken-out, which is partly why I joined here today (I never expected to feel this/any LEVEL of anxiety and our correspondence has been constant, comfortable and all-around great, so we'll see). Anyway, I say give it a try, you've got nothing to lose. Hope you find someone, we all need someone so that means there's definitely someone else out their in need of YOU! ~ Omar Link to comment
sns256 Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Fish, congrates on improving yourself and getting a prospective date. I was in your shoes this time last year and know where you and the op are coming from. Internet dating sites are a great tools. All I can say from my experience. No matter how much chemistry you two seem to have over e-mail correspondence you should never expect it to be as good when you meet up. Even if you click really well in real life don't expect to get a second date or anything. Keep your excitement in check. Which I have found is 90% of my nervousness comes from excitement because 90% of anything you are doing is for the first time and you are wanting it so badly. Just slow it down in your mind. You have a great attitude and I am sure you will do just fine! Just expect to make a mistake or two and hope for the best that she really likes you. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Just because you got a response to a message on a dating site doesn't mean success. Odds are she's 300 lbs and it's going to be a first AND last date. That's why they have pictures on there. If a user does not have pictures, then I don't even bother wasting my time. Getting a response from a chick that you liked enough to send a message to is definitely nice though. It's always the initial few messages that are key in order to keep the woman interested in you. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Oh she had a picture. Great! You have nothing to worry about. Yeah, I know what you mean. However, I've been on dating sites for several years now and I've never had an experience where the woman turns out to be much more overweight than what her pictures suggested. I feel like I'm lucky though. So I can see your concern there. It's similar to going to a bar. You gawk at a lovely looking woman sitting with her friends accross the bar. You approach her and after talking to her for about 5 minutes, you're now trying to figure out a good exit out of there because you're just repulsed by her personality. At least it's the same sort of thing in my mind. Bottom line: No matter what venue of dating you take, there will always be risks involved. That's why it can be fun too. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Hehe. But what if the girl turns out to be everything you want? Then you're going to wish you brought that condom with you. Link to comment
MD Geist Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Just because you got a response to a message on a dating site doesn't mean success. Odds are she's 300 lbs and it's going to be a first AND last date. Or a Single mom who's divored with kids who's looking for a man to help her out. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Haha, wow I am totally out of it tonight apparently! I totally misread your post earlier Bioluge. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Or a Single mom who's divored with kids who's looking for a man to help her out. A lot of them will say they are not looking for a daddy, but is that really true? <_>_> <_>_> >_ Link to comment
Hikapo Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 A lot of them will say they are not looking for a daddy, but is that really true? <_>_> <_>_> >_ haha, what a lie! Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 I'm not advertising, really!! Try plentyoffish dating website, I'm having success and it's only been a couple weeks. We might (it sounds pretty definite, but who knows,) meet soon and the only reason it hasn't bee sooner is because she was out of state. The only thing that would keep us from meeting is if I chicken-out, which is partly why I joined here today (I never expected to feel this/any LEVEL of anxiety and our correspondence has been constant, comfortable and all-around great, so we'll see). Anyway, I say give it a try, you've got nothing to lose. Hope you find someone, we all need someone so that means there's definitely someone else out their in need of YOU! ~ Omar dam! you been on pof for a few weeks and you already met girls from there. I been on pof since 2001 and I have not met one girl yet from that webite..](*,) Link to comment
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