How do you win the heart of your desire back?? 2 years!

[BrokenHeart]

Well this is kinda a long story but maybe someone could relate to me in someway.....it might help you or you could help me....

 

Ok.....This is the situation...... I am 30 years old and my partner is 25....I have been with her for almost 2 years and living with her for almost a year and a half. I moved to Cleveland from Chicago and within 6 months of being together she moved out to be with me.. We were in love totally! I transfered to Cleveland because of a job....Well my job was very demanding ....I had to spend long hours and sometimes days away from her...It was very hard for her because she had no friends or anyone there to talk to....I was always stressed and irriatable because of what I was doing at work.. Well this went on for 6 months ...then I got another transfer and it was better because it moved us to Minnesota... It was very close to her family and friends and I new she wanted that so I took the transfer..

Well...because my job was so demanding ...I would still not come home to late at nite and in a way I lost focus of what was really important to me in my life...I was a work-a-olic!!!! I would come home and be very tired and didnt want to have more stress at home so I kinda put in the background as to what was going on at home. I know that we had chemisrty....the way we would hold each other was very special and I love her very much...She has always been there for me ...even tho there is so many times I wasnt there for her...

Well it came to a point where we would argue and fight almost everyday..I was becoming even more stressed at work. In fact we hardly ever did anything together because I had to work every single day of the week. I would do little things sometimes and bring a rose home or say lets go out to eat but it was very few and inbetween...

When we first met we were doing things all the time and just enjoying each others company...but when I took that job that was so demanding it went down hill...

 

WELL....She is moving out now...she is going to go back to her home town...I am so hurt and sad because of this....She says that she loves me but is not in love with me and just wants to be friends......I know that I have treated her bad by not being there for her ...I have told her that I am sorry for hurting her.....I told her my job just took over me and I lost sight to what was really important to me and that was HER! I feel so bad because since she told me she was leaving...I have quit that demanding job and I am looking for something else right now.......I thought that would make her happy because I know she has hated what I have been doing for a very long time....but it really didnt. I think it was alittle to late. I love this woman so much ....she is everything I want in a woman...I just beat myself up with self-pity about what I have done to her and how could I have done that to someone I care so much for.

 

WELL...this is the situation as we speak....She is moving out in the next month because our lease is up...I have somewhat stopped my needy and desperate aproaches because I have see that they drive her away even more....She told me that she feels that she needs to be on her own for awhile.....In the past month since she told me she was moving that we were done.....she has drove out to were she is moving 3 times to be with her friends and party it up.....In a way I am happy she is doing that because I know in the past year she hasnt done that and I know how important her friends are to her. I just feel so hurt because I do love this girl so much and it hurts me to know what I put her thru.

Since she has been going to her home town alot in the past month...I feel she has someone else she has interest in....I know she calls him and he calls her all the time ...at first I was so jealous and hurt and my desperate pleas to talk to her about it just kept falling to deaf ears. She says that I am looking to far into something that is really nothing.....She says that he is just a friend...I someehat believe her becasue she has always been honest and faithful to me but a part of me doesnt believe it. For about 2 weeks after she told me she doesnt want to be in a relationship with no more ...I was desperatley trying to get her back and nothing was working ....I kept pressuring her and pressuring her.....

I know that she loves me but I dont think she has that in love feeling for me anymore....I want to get that back so bad!!! Anyone have some advice? I would truly appreciate it....

She says that I am a great guy and she does love me and that she doesnt know what the future holds for us....She said that she wants to miss me and then she will know....but how do have someone miss you when you live with them?????

She went away again for the weekend and the nite before I figured I would try a different approach with her since nothing else was working it was driving her farther away..So the day before she left ....I acted like everything was fine...I was being my happy and joyful self and we laid down to go to bed...I said to her..." I am sorry for all the pain and hurt I have caused you ...I take all blame for what has happened...I dont blame you for the way you feel ..you have every right to feel that way..." I also said " Honey...I would really like to make this relationship work but I know it is impossible...your right it wont work...I will help you move or find a job for you if you like..." Well I was saying all of this in a confident way and not in a desperate and whining way.....Well she turned around and said you are acting weird ..you seem like you dont care. I said I cant change the way you feel and I dont blame you for the way you feel. Well I was just acting happy like nothing was wrong or it bother me and then I said to her " By the way I have a date tomorrow nite" She is like a date ...with who?....whats her name?......Well I finally got a reaction out of her ...it was pleasant ......Well we talked for a few minutes about some things that we have down wrong in the past ...she was agreeing with me when I was saying we should of moved quicker..I should of quit my job quicker ...she was like it would of made things so much better...well then she reaches over and grabs my hand and holds it and starts rubbing it...It was very nice ....then she wanted me to rub her arm so I did..I think I shouldnt of but I did...I really didnt have a date lined up but I wanted her to think I did.....I was trying to use the philosophy of " People always want what they cant have " I wanted her to feel like she was loosing me.I dont know if that was the right approach or not.....Can someone give me some advice if that was the right thing to do???? Nothing else was working....Well the day she was leaving....I used to e-mail her at work everyday but for the last two days before she left I stopped doing that.....Well she e-mailed me and wished me a good weekend and to have fun on my date....Well I can take that a million different ways....I never reply to her e-mail which was unusual because I always do....Well right before she was leaving work she called me and I was just happy as can be ....she said she was calling to say goodbye and to wish me a good weekend...I was like well you to...have fun...well I will let you go now. It seemed like by me saying I had a date it kinda switched the roles alittle bit....It was always me doing the contact with the e-mai or phone calls but the day after I told her that and I stopped calling her and e-mailing her....then she starts doing it....

I dont know what to do or say.....I love this girl so much and she knows that I love her tooo...she doesnt doubt my love ...she know it.....I just know that her moving out is inevitable and it really hurts like hell....She has already put her notice in at work and everything so I know she is leaving........BUT what can I do to maybe save our relationship from completely ending????? How can I keep the door open for the future while we are still living together?????? I know that we are moving but I want her so bad but its too late for her to stay even is she wanted to.....What do I do???? Can anyone give me some advice as to what approach or what to say or do???? I would be so gratefull if someone could as soon as possible.....I dont know if what I am doing is right or wrong.... I am sorry that it was so long but when you have so much emotion inside it just comes out.... Thank you so much for anyone who does reply....It is greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!!

[Holly19721607306437]

Well, I don't know if telling her that you had a date was a good idea or not. It certainly seems as though it succeeded in turning the tables...for now.

 

If you catch this post in time and she is still living with you, you may want to take her out one more time.

 

The more fun and romantic the date is, the better for you since you seem to truly love this woman.

 

Surprises are always a delight to women. If you have the money for it, buy her a nice stylish dress (make sure you get the right size), and keep the receipt. Then present it to her and tell her you're both going out--you both owe it to the relationship from the time you both invested in it.

 

Hopefully she'll love the dress and say "yes".

 

Have a planned date. Maybe Ballroom dancing. Or a college play, or concert. Something a little different--because YOU are different..in a good way!

 

Hand-write a romantic poem, stick it in a box of chocolates and give it to her. It could even be somewhat humorous. You should aim at keeping her spirits up, not down. If poems are not your cup-O'-tea, you could write a cute -n- funny note that say's something like..

 

We all have our favorite chocolate piece, depending on what's on the inside. We all have our favorite people for this same reason. You're my favorite!

 

Something along those lines is short and sweet. Be creative.

 

I hope it works out for you. Try to avoid fibbing to her in the future. Remember that trust is very important in relationships!!

 

I hope I was helpful to you.

 

Holly1972

[BrokenHeart]

Holly thanks for the reply!

 

I dont know if taking her on a romantic date is the best thing right now...I dont want to pressure her into doing something she really doesnt want to do.... I want to do what is right for now and the future...I love this woman with all of my heart and to know she is inevitable she is leaving ...it hurts like hell. Please can people give me some more advice!! Thank you in advance.

[Holly19721607306437]

I'm sorry Broken Hearted.

 

To you it may sound like a bad idea. I was just thinking that if you both had a wonderful evening together, she may change her mind about leaving. She may decide that she must be crazy for leaving you.

 

Anyway, I hope you get the answers your looking for. Best of luck!

 

Holly1972

[Tyler]

Hi >I thought I might be able to at least offer some comforting thoughts. We're both going through much the same situation. Im about 2months into it though. What I've learned is that there's no need to dwell on what you could have done differently. I can say that begging and pleading, if you've come to that point, gets you now where. Really try and go with the flow of things. I've learned that you can't force someone to love you either. I really feel that love will find a way. Take comfort in knowing that if its meant to be, it wil be, someday. I've been trying to get this, "how do i win her back" idea out of my head. For me I think the best thing is time. I've been wondering if I'd ever be able to find someone so beautiful and fun as this girl, something tells me its possible. And its either going to be her or someone else. But at least I'll be a better person and happy as hell when that time comes. I'm going to take this time apart to evaluate myself and my life. The three years we were together, im only 23 by the way, I never focused on what I was going to do with my life, thats fairly important(really important). I feel we would have had to eventually take time apart from eachother anyway, to grow as people. And try try try not to think about this friend of hers. it just adds to the insanity. Thats it i guess, you'll make it.

[rvo]

man. only one thing to do. TALK. like crazy. I doubt taking her out for a nice evening would help. she made up her mind. just TALK everything over and over again. both to convince her, and to satisfy yourself, so you know what has caused her decision. if you can, and she wants (!) to, move back with her. hope that helps..

[BrokenHeart]

Thank you for all of the replys guys...its greatly appreciated.

 

Holly believe me when I say I want to take her out for a romantic date...I want to really bad....but thing again I just keep thinking if it will make matters worse or not. This girl is very special to me and I want to do the right things. Last nite while she was away, it was about 3 am , I was going to leave a message on her cell phone but I didnt. I was going to put some closure on the whole situation for my home sanity. I was just going to say everything I was feeling and to tell her I was giving up on her. BUT i didnt do it. I dont know if I should of or not ...so I didnt. I know this girl loves the person I am....She has told me. She loves that I am hardworking (alittle over board, but changing) loving, caring, great personality, and I can always make her laugh. So many more to list that she has told me... But I dont really know if she understand truly what she is about to loose. Thats why I think if I withdraw from the situation and really keep my distance and not show her love it could make her realize it. OR on the other hand I think if I show her love did it will make her think am I crazy for leaving this. I dont know!!! I am so confused on what to do. I asked her this question about a week ago, I said " If you take away all the hurt and pain I have caused you and you get rid of the job I was doing am I someone you could MARRY" she said "YES". She said that is why she stayed for so long that she sees that in me and she hoped that things would change for so long. She is a great girl , probably one of the best I have ever went out with. I mean I am 30 years old I have dated other people and I know what I am looking for. She is it! I would do anything in this world for her. I definitely have true love for her. I can truly see spending the rest of my life with her. Thats why it hurts so much to know that I have caused her pain and hurt in the past. I really think that destiny is what brought us together but I guess I have to rely on fate to bring us back together. I keep thinking that this other guy is what is stopping her from really feeling alot for me, because before he came in the picture I think it could of been possible to get her to stay. I just think her feelings for me has been put in the background and she is just enjoying herself right now. I dont know. I keep thinking that she is just in love with her negative feelings about our relationship and not looking at the big picture and what she is about to be loosing.

Well, I guess I have to rely on time to be the deciding factor in this battle. It hurts like hell not to have her, I really miss her alot.........but I have to let go I guess. PLEASE help me with more advice, its really sinking in guys. I just dont know how to act when I am with her or what to say when I am with her......remember we do live together. Its very hard not to try to persue her when we stay in the same house and sleep in the same bed. ANY ADVICE???? Thank you so much for replying.....

[crumble]

Let me guess she fell asleep while you were talking about the two of you. I have been in that position she didnt fall asleep but she told me please shut up its getting boring, I know what you think and what you want. It sounds to me like she tagging you along just in case the grass isnt greener and one reason she does this is because your always there she doesnt have to chase you, she just needs to click her fingers and you come running. The thing to do is turn it around yes if you were to sort things out then you would always be there for her. But right now be different let her chase you, start looking for a flat, dont stay in the same bed as her stay at a friends she will slowly realise that your not at her beck and call all of a sudden, let her do the chasing and show her that your not her safety net, it is this excitement which is probably attracting her to this other guy. Dont sweat it, just be cool show that you dont give a damn play your position like a star quarter back and play a little hard to get but not to hard too get. This might be what she needs. It might work, It might not just have patience and keep working at it, do things that you wouldnt normally do. Go out and enjoy your life because that is the only thing you can do if you want her back. Dont give up and dont let your guard down stimulate her mind and make sure she knows how much fun your having without her because no woman will be attracted to a begging, pleading loser and I know it hurts but that is probably how she sees you. Good luck and hope it works out for you in the end just dont try to hard because she will see it from a mile away

[crumble]

I dont know if this helps but i am in a similar position apart from my ex of 3yrs isn't moving away, but she has closed up and is hell bent on doing what the hell she wants, when she wants and if anyone stands in her way goodluck to them, maybe someone will but it cant be me ive learnt that the hard way. Right now she is friendly with this other guy and at the moment nothing is going on he is just someone she talks to. apparently he wants more from her than she is willing to give and is putting pressure on her by telling her how much he loves her. The end of the day he is probably happy and making her feel good about her self by saying the things she wants to hear. And people like happy people. When you first met she didn't fall for you because you miserable and needy she fell for you because you were happy with yourself and happy with life. Maybe she will fall for him, maybe not as far as i am concerned i am not easilly replacable maybe he is the key to getting us back together, who knows. Anyway that is enough of my problems. All i can say is keep playing hard to get like you said you were and keep it going never faulter let her chase you. Because if she comes back to you on her own accord it might just work, but if she comes back because you have begged her she will do the same and treat you like a door mat. Have some self respect, Your relationship didn't break down instantly it took months probably so don't expect your hard work to pay off instantly just have patience and in time she might realise she has made a mistake, but then again maybe she wont OUCH

 

Its sounds like the thing she craves is excitment, she is probably just plain bored, so keep on acting different, let her chase you, excite her. You did before and you can do it again carry on making her do the thinking but don't after one week go back to begging saying to her look i've changed or have you reconcidered because if she has reconcidered believe me she will tell you by actions probably more than words, so just keep going and never faulter. At the moment she has all the cards and it sounds like you got some back and then by trying to talk to her to quickly you gave them back to her and while she has all the cards she will always win and she will gradually lose total respect for you.

 

Stay cool brother and throw away that need because you don't need her

the only person in this life that you need is yourself. Your born on your own and you die on your own. You just want and desire her which is a different thing altogether.

 

STAY COOL AND BE STRONG

[BrokenHeart]

CRUMBLE...........Thanks for the advice!!!!! It really makes sense...

I know what you mean about being to available but read the latest news and tell me what you think........

 

I have some more news......Yesterday I talked to her and I acted like I was very excited and happy for some reason. We talked for a couple of hours....In the past I have been very bad at blowing money on non-sense items and not really focused on paying off the bills. She has always hated that about me and it always stressed her out all the time. Well I have two cars..I have a sports car and a truck.....I really dont need two cars so I told her that I was going to sell my sports car. I told her I want to do what is right for now on and I know I havent done the right things in the past but I do now...I told her I was going to sell the sports car and take the money and pay off all of her bills and pay off mine...I told her I know it stresses you out and in a way stresses me out. She said you dont have to do that...its not your respondsibility...I said I want to make you happy and I know you having all of these bills stresses you out to no end. I was really excited about that....I was very happy about doing it because I know how it would make her feel... This girl really stresses about bills ALOT and I know it took a big strain on our relationship. Well we talked about her bills and everything.....then we got off the subject and we just started talking about anything....just laughing and joking around....enjoying each others company....

Then it was time to go to bed and I was laying upstairs for a minute then she came up and we started talking again..laughing ..it was great ..it felt like when we first started going out. I said to her "does anything I do or say make a difference to ya ...does it make you feel anything" I know I probably shouldnt of said it and after I said it, I was like DAMN what did I do. Well she said " I do feel alot closer to you, we havent just talked in so long ....its like we are communicating...I feel closer but the sex isnt involved." I was very shocked to hear her say that....I said "I feel alot closer to you as well...its been very nice to sit and laugh and talk to you"......She told me earlier that day she was going away for the weekend again....BUT when we were talking in the bed I said to her " I feel alot closer to you, just like you feel, thats why I would like it if we would do things together and maybe we might get even closer....she said" I wasnt going to leave this weekend but I figured you might of had a date with that girl again so I figured I would go away" ......Im like no I wasnt going to see her this weekend......She was like wouldnt it make things harder if we started going out and having fun....when I do leave....I said well if its hard then we would know in the future maybe it was meant to be or not meant to be. SO.........I dont know what to think....I know she is still talking to this guy for a fact...and that drives me up the wall.....I dont know what to think or do......IS she giving me mixed signals or does she really care??? I dont know what to do.......Yesterday I also went to the store before she came home and got some grocery and I wasnt going to do it but she liked it alot.......I got her this cat card, that said " Preciuos things are few" and I just signed it and I got her a yellow rose(she loves yellow roses) Well when I got home she was already there and I walked in and put the grocery down and I said to her "Here I got you something I figured maybe you had a rough day at work and I figured it might make you smile alittle......then I gave it to her......She really liked it and said that was the best part of her day......SO yesterday was a good day all around ..I think......BUT I dont know what to do from now on.....Do I keep doing what I am doing or should I back off?????? I dont know....I was going to tomorrow do something I think is really nice but I could get a let down if it backfires on me.....I was going to get two dozen roses and lead a trail of roses from the front door all the way up stairs to the bathroom....and I was going to keep the doors shut on the bathroom but inside I was going to lie a bunch of candles and have the lights off ...and I was going to fix a bubble bath and I was going to be in the tub with two glasses of wine and when she came in the door I was going to ask her to jump in and have a drink with me.....I dont know if that is a great idea right now...I think it would be so nice but I dont know if romancing her that far is a good idea or not. She is leaving in 3 weeks and I dont have that much time with her, if you count the holiday....and I want to do the right things in the next three weeks where when she does leave she will miss me dearly and maybe we can a future together.....I was thinking if I do it and she makes a comment like know we cant do this ..I would say fine keep your clothes on ...I dont care all I am asking for is you to have a drink with me...but if she does agree then she can get in then we can just hold each other just talk......I DONT KNOW......DAMN I want to do the right things....She says she feels closer to me but is this going to far to quick...OR is this perfect timing?????? DONT KNOW .....SOMEONE PLEASE HELP WITH SOME ADVICE........................Thank you again Crumble for the advice...it really makes sense but after you read this what do u think now....

[Sage Eagle]

Hi Broken Heart.

 

I thought Holly's idea was a little better than the rose-path leading to the bath-tub. You said so yourself that she seemed to be coming around more since the main focus was not a sex issue. I think she mightsee this as a plan leading to sex -vs- a plan to re-establish kindling and mending of broken hearts. I think if you show a true interest in her as a person, and really really listen to her with empathy, you'll find her more willing to open more of herself to you.

 

Women are smarter than alot of us men give them credit for. They're pretty keen on what our motives are. Yes you should offer romance. But offer her your whole open heart. Pledge to her that you don't want to involve yourself in any heart tugging games, and you'll honor her true desire, because you love her.

 

I also agree with you. You don't want to chase after her too much, but you do need to show a genuine interest in her.

 

I raise my champane glass to you--hoping you have a truly happy ending!

 

Take Care of #1, That my friend...is You!

 

Sage Eagle

[WILTED ROSE]

Sounds like you both need to sit down for a long discussion of closure. If she already has another love interest, that's a sure bet for closure in itself. I don't know which route you need to take, but you can't just sit there and do nothing.

If I were you, I'd tell her she has a choice. To stay and help re-build your relationship and take everything that has happened and make some good out of it. Call it wisdom. Or she can leave, just give up on any hope of recovery and let everything go to waste. It's a gift of choice that you are giving her.

 

Holly's ideas, though sweet indeed, are not allowing you to get to the meat of the problem,... the other guy. That needs to be brought up regardless if it's a turn-off to her. It will show you care.

[crumble]

DONT DO IT. Just stay cool and read what i said again, show her that your just fine with how things are. By doing the bath tub thing all you are doing is putting pressure on her and people dont like pressure. Just play it cool good things come to those who wait. Let her make the first move, let her do something for you, if she doesnt then be cool you have still got three weeks. But if she is expecting you to do something like that then dont do it. Because as i said she might be expecting you to go take things quickly. Only you know what your like and what she expects, but whatever you did before wasnt working so why keep doing it, do the opposite, take her by surprise. As i said make her interested in you put the ball in her court. But whatever you do dont pressure her. I did that but i was messed coming off cocaine read my post .shes got me all wrong please give me some advice. But don't give her all the cards again like i said.

 

NO PRESSURE

[grneyedscotsman]

Hello Broken Heart

 

I appreciate that you are considering the best strategy to fix the problem in your relationship.

 

I'll offer my synopsis to the other advices you are being offered to give you more strategy choices to consider. I'm sure you already know, using a poor strategy can only get bad results. Couples end up reacting, criticizing, getting defensive, withdrawing, or stonewalling. It's hard to recognize that we have fallen into a bad strategy. All we know is that the more we try to deal with an issue, the more unhappy we get.

 

Remember this: Love Alone Is Not Enough

It is destructive to keep reacting, getting defensive, fighting, falling into poor communication, withdrawing, or closing down. Sooner or later, things get said or done that can never be taken back.

 

You have to walk a fine line between : (1) showing her you really want it to work out -vs- (2) chasing after her too much. If the relationship gets lopsided, with you being the one who is always trying to make it work, it won't work anyway. It has to be an equal thing. And if she is not opening up, or she won't communicate, then you are left in a place of no-win.

 

STEP BACK

I wish I could tell you something that would make sense of all this. But I do recommend that you step back and just give her space and time to do whatever it is she needs to do. Unfortunately she has not been very receptive to you lately it seems. If she has not given you alot of hope in terms of reconciliation, I would avoid chasing her-period. I would make giving her space a solid priority. This is really an opportunity for you to learn and grow and get ahold of yourself on a more solid basis emotionally. This is not a problem you need to fix in the relationship. There is nothing to do there. It is an emotional issue of need you can face within yourself. And emerge from that uncomfortable self-examination with more strenth and commitment to yourself. I am not happy with the way she is splitting, the lack of communication, the unclarity, the issue of this other gentleman. I am concerned about you getting your own emotions together and getting centered and in control of your life. This means really stepping back from this situation altogether in a rather big way, atleat until you are more relaxed and centered in just being who you are--with no "her" that you are bouncing off of.

 

If this relationship fails, in your future relationship you will carry a renowned sense of wisdom. And remember to always be open and honest. Even the little white lie is a no-no.

 

I hope this adivice can be of some use to you.

 

Take Care/ Godspeed!

 

grneyedscotsman 8)

[BrokenHeart]

GODSPEED!!!

Thank you for your words of wisdom...I have read alot of posts that you have written and your words have helped out alot.

 

I really am starting to believe that I just have to be myself and be happy with the situation as it is. The only thing is we do live together...How do I give someone space when you live in the same house????? I only have 3 more weeks with her then she is gone to another state and I really would like to save some sort of feelings with her that maybe in the future there is hope. I do love her very much and her friendship does mean alot to me but I do need my time to let that love fade away. I know when she does finally leave...she will call me to see how I am doing and so on...but how can I get over her if she does that......Should I tell her I want NO contact for at least 5 or 6 months...where I can get over her??? I dont know what to say to her...I know when she does finally leave and everything is in the moving truck ...it will be a VERY EMOTIONAL DAY....I think for her and myself. I know that no matter what I say she is leaving and in a way I want her to leave because I think that is the only way she will know for sure she really loves me and misses me. I just want to do the right things NOW because in the past I havent done the right things. I want her to really think when she is gone that I was the one for her.....I dont want to force her to love me that is why by her leaving I will know if its meant to be or not.

 

Thank you for the advice GODSPEED...I really appreciate it

Thank you to everyone else who has replied or will reply.

[BrokenHeart]

Well for an update.....she is gone again for the weekend and I know she is spending it with that other guy at his house. It is really driving me insane knowing about the other guy ....I can probably deal with the situation alot better if I knew he wasnt in the picture. We talked alittle bit more in the past few days and she says she loves me but I am putting so much pressure on her. She says she needs to move to get her life back on track because its been at a stand still for a long time...She also said she wants to go back to school really bad and wants to spend time with her friends before they move on with their lives. She said there is alot things she wants to do before she decides to settle down. She said it isnt the right time in her life right now.. I dont know what to think...but I do know that I have to move on.. She says she is sorry for hurting me and that this is the best thing for her right now. I love this women so much and hurts like hell to know she will be gone out of my life very soon. I told her today that I am letting go and moving on that I will not pressure her no more. I told her I cant love someone with all my heart and soul and not have that person love me back. I said that I am a damn good catch and one day I will find someone who will want what I have in my heart. GOD...I am so devestated....I dont think I have ever hurt this bad before in my life. She meant the world to me and I miss her very much. I dont know how to give her space and start to forget about her when I do live with her and have 3 more weeks together???? I dont know what to do!!!

[Lone Star1607306437]

That's cool BrokenHearted. I'm glad you're doin better with the B.S. Remember, it's all in perception of the situation. If you act like you don't care, soon enough you really will believe you don't care and it becomes natural. For some, this is a natural built-in security mechanism that gets triggered whenever they feel threatened that things might not work out. They automatically turn the 'I don't give a damn' attitude on. Unfortunately those curious feeling's of wonder do get played sometimes. Like wondering if the lost love is happier now, or more miserable. And of course we naturally want them to feel more miserable--those damn losers!!

 

Keep up the progress and keep dating these new chicks, but remember the ol' saying, "If it smells like cologne--leave it alone, If it smells like fish, eat all you wish!"

 

Lone Star

[aradia]

I would say dont buy lavish gifts or anything like that....as it will ook like you think that her love can be bought.

 

do something from the heart, something simple but true. a poem is a good idea, but if you cant write poetry, just go for a walk with her somewhere and sit down in private (outdoors is a good place) and just tell her everything you truly feel. (write it all down first if it helps) how much she means to you, why she is special to you, wht you see in the future and how things are going to improve.

 

Thats all i would say, dont splurge or try to impress her in any other way than with truth and honesty. I think its recognisable when something comes from the heart.

 

good luck

[caliboy]

Does anyone know what ended up happening with BrokenHeart's situation?

[David83]

Yeah ive just read all of the posts, and i also would like to know if she actually moved out, because he said their was only 1 week to go in his last post?? i wonder if he is happy?