Holly19721607306437

Way to go eyeofthetiger! I'm really glad life is easing up on you! I'm very happy for you. Your post gives hope to many of us out here struggling with moving on. I guess to get going you have to take your foot off the brake and step on the gas. Just don't go too fast or you'll get yourself into trouble. Holly1972

I'm sorry Broken Hearted. To you it may sound like a bad idea. I was just thinking that if you both had a wonderful evening together, she may change her mind about leaving. She may decide that she must be crazy for leaving you. Anyway, I hope you get the answers your looking for. Best of luck! Holly1972

Hi Dan(TigerMan). First of all, try not to dwell on psychology too much. There are common rules you need to remember like not being too needy, but overall, be yourself. I would steer way clear of calling her at work..PERIOD. Call her on her cel if she has one, or call her house. Remember to ask if your catching her at a good time. If not, ask when would be a better time. Do NOT ask her if she's seeing anyone. That is a big turn-off to us women. Just tell her some of the positive changes about you without it looking like you're bragging. Make the comments appear casual. If she say's "Dan, I don't want to see you and I don't want to talk with you," tell her "Unfortunatley I'll have to accept that". Then excuse yourself. Don't hold the conversation another minute. Besides, if you do--she'll know you're needing her -Hence- "needy". Well that's my 2 cent advice. Hope it's worth every penny!! Keep in touch Dan. Let me know how it goes. Holly1972

Well, I don't know if telling her that you had a date was a good idea or not. It certainly seems as though it succeeded in turning the tables...for now. If you catch this post in time and she is still living with you, you may want to take her out one more time. The more fun and romantic the date is, the better for you since you seem to truly love this woman. Surprises are always a delight to women. If you have the money for it, buy her a nice stylish dress (make sure you get the right size), and keep the receipt. Then present it to her and tell her you're both going out--you both owe it to the relationship from the time you both invested in it. Hopefully she'll love the dress and say "yes". Have a planned date. Maybe Ballroom dancing. Or a college play, or concert. Something a little different--because YOU are different..in a good way! Hand-write a romantic poem, stick it in a box of chocolates and give it to her. It could even be somewhat humorous. You should aim at keeping her spirits up, not down. If poems are not your cup-O'-tea, you could write a cute -n- funny note that say's something like.. We all have our favorite chocolate piece, depending on what's on the inside. We all have our favorite people for this same reason. You're my favorite! Something along those lines is short and sweet. Be creative. I hope it works out for you. Try to avoid fibbing to her in the future. Remember that trust is very important in relationships!! I hope I was helpful to you. Holly1972

Hi Everyone. Re; Love Although I realize it was a quote being used to get a point accross, Love can, and DOES die of starvation. But it also can, and Does die of indegestion. There should be a harmonious ballance when giving and receiving love in a relationship. If you love your S.O. more than they love you, your relationship may be heading for trouble. If your S.O. loves you more than you love them, again,-your relationship may be heading for trouble. If there is equal amounts given and taken, the relationship probably has better odds of survivng (of course, the greater the better). This is known as the "Polar Dance". Okay, that's my input for the day. Bye Holly1972

Hi Again Tiger Dan! I just read your reply. I really feel for you. You king of touch close to me with your issue, because I am guilty of doing the same thing to my ex. I left him. At first we mutually agreed that we needed a break. It really had little to do with our compatibility. It was more toward financial stress. We both had alot of debts, and it just felt overwhelming to both of us everytime we got the mail. He was a very loving guy to me. He was very passionate. We rarely argued. If we did, it was never uncontrolled. Sigh. It's really tough for me even now to think about our seperation. I loved (love) him so much! At first he didn't really call that much. I called him atleast four times a week. I thought I did the wrong thing, telling him I needed a break. And it seemed, He was the strong one. I remember him even saying, "see, I knew we were being drastic". I'm not sure if that's when I decided to stop calling him or what. I just started to get really busy with my life. My parents were moving out of state, so I helped them. My job was very demanding of my time. And I had a few good friends I wanted to catch up with. Not that I totally forgot about my ex-fiance', but I was genuinely busy. Then it seemed, quite out of the blue-a week later, he was calling me alot. He seemed very desperate to get back together. The more desperation I heard from him, the more I felt turned off. And soon enough, he was no longer the center of my daily thought. It's been a month since he's tried contacting me, and I am finding some of it is easier, and some of it is harder. I wonder about him. I worry about him. And I miss him. But do I want him to magically appear at my front door tomarrow? Probably not. I still am not ready to rekindle our relationship. I don't know if it's completely over, but for now I am not ready. He will always hold a very special place in my heart. And in many many ways, he was the best man I'd ever been matched up with. But I can't help feeling I'm still doing the right thing by leaving it alone for now. Does he still yearn for me? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. It wouldn't change my feeling's regardless. I feel what I feel. But I admit, I am missing him more now than ever before. Perhaps I'll be ready in a month or two. Perhaps when I am it will be too late for me. So now you have a little insight from the other side (if you will). =================================== My advice: Since it seems you almost have nothing to lose and little to gamble with (since you don't really look for a rekindling of sorts),..you might want to send her some flowers with a short note attached, saying something like; "I wanted to catch you before we lose each other forever. You know how to reach me. I'm open to discuss this if you are. Affectionately Yours, Dan (your Tiger). " ===================================== I'm not sure this will work Dan. It may. It may not. You need to make a decision based on your gut, your heart, and your mind. Perhaps if you DO SOMETHING, regardless of the outcome, you will be able to find your own closure because you will know that you have tried. I wish you well Tiger. It is my pleasure that you have even asked me for my input. Thank you. Bye for now. Holly1972

Ahhh to be young again! I agree totally with Shy_Guy, LighteningBird, and Sister Lynch. Get over that fear! Once you're able to get a grip, confidently (not arrogantly), walk up to her with a nice cute smile and tell her you are sorry for being rotten to her last year, and that you really appreciate her being nice to you. Then ask if she'd like to go get an icecream soda or something. You can Do It!! REMEMBER TO SMILE!! Holly1972

Oh my mr.scotsman! I agree w/Sage...."We know where your dirty mind is"!! Atleast u seem to know all the necessary parts...nevermind, I shouldn't have gone there! BYE Holly1972

Hi Sage! Nice Post. Since when are you NOT the expert?! See ya around Babe! Got your e-mail! Thanks!! Holly1972

Hi Hour Glass. I had the same initial reaction as you seem to have. However, I did'nt read scotsman's entire post. After carefully re-reading it, I found that I was guilty of assuming almost the exact same thing as you. In fact, just yesterday I wrote him an appology telling him I was too quick to judge the post. I agree with Lone Star and cuteshortnsassy19. He is conveying a messege of too many men losing their loved-ones because they simply don't have the self-confidence men need to succeed. Women are guilty of this as well. In any event, I understand how you could have easily misinterpreted the conveying messege. Welcome to the Forum! Holly1972

Hi Tiger Dan! I've read your posts in these forums for some time. I'm really surprised to find that she is not willing to allow you the time of day-just to give you closure. That just seems like a bunch of crud to me. Will she not meet you in a public neutral location, like a mall cafe'? Tell her she can bring a friend along with her if she needs security. Tell her to just give you 30 minutes of her time. Try not to sound desperate when you ask her for this, and remember to leave the subject alone if she say's "no". She'll be reminded of what she thought of you before--which is not what you want. If she agrees, you may want to practice before-hand what you want to tell her. Practice--practice--practice!! Until you know you will have the confidence. Also pre-plan her likely answers or reactions to anything you pose or propose to her. Leave her speechless, but NOT annoyed. She may find (if you show confidence and self-control) that you are the best man for her. I would avoid calling her at work when you decide. Call her at home at an hour you don't think she'll be busy. Then call and start off saying, you couldn't help wonder how she is. Broach the subject lightly Dan. Then tell her if she can arrange in her schedule a conveinant time to meet you (at the mall or wherever) you would very much appreciate because you are having trouble leaving things alone without any sort of closure. Hopefully she is a sweet and caring girl that doesn't want to leave things in tathers, without mending open wounds. Dan, you sem like such an intelligent and sweet guy. I hope it works out for you. Go get her tiger!! Holly 1972

Just wanted to appologize to you Grneyedscotsman. I was guilty of not having read your entire post before I declared it of no use to women. I stand CORRECTED! I just re-read it, and found there is alot of helpful information for men and women alike. I guess I stuck my foot in my mouth. I'll make sure I get all the details next time! HOW embarrassING!!!! See ya around! Holly1972

I'm hoping I can get some helpful insight from some of you men out there. Here's the situation. I am a professional female. I'm 30 years old and very independent. I'm happy with that. But it seems my ex was becoming tired of the fact that I worked up to 50 hours per week and enjoyed my girls night out atleast once every two weeks. He always wanted to just habg around the house and maybe go out once a month. Well, we both agreed that we were too different and want different things, so we mutually broke up. It's been nearly 4 weeks and he hasn't even called me to see if I was okay. It would have been nice to atleast know he cared, but it seems he dosen't. Now I'm starting to miss him, but don't know if I should bother calling or e-mailing him. I'm starting to wonder if he met someone else. I guess I should'nt worry about it, but a BIG part of me does. Any advice or insight would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks for reading this post. Holly

Unfortunatley, you are right scotsman. Women do love men with confidence. But by the same token, we cannot stand arrogant bastards. But if I had to have my pick over an arrogant bastard that presents himself as a challenge, and a mommy's boy that is constantly trying to prove his love by smothering me in love and never wanting to leave my sight...I'd have to pick the arrogant bastard. However,you have to be a romantic arrogant bastard if you're going to be one at all. We women need our romance!! Good post all-in all, but there's not much in it to help us women out. Perhaps you can clue some of us in on why we fall in love with either goal-less self-centered or abusive men. Holly