When Does Teasing Mean Something More?

[Texas2004]

I have a female co-worker who I have grown close to. There is a lot of flirting that goes on between the two of us, much of which has to do with teasing.

 

I guess my question is, if a girl is interested in a guy as more than a friend, is it natural for her to do a lot of teasing? My own opinion is that she chooses to do this to show interest without being too explicit (because I think we both know it would be inappropriate to carry on a relationship at work).

 

Anyone have any similar experiences that they could share?

[robowarrior]

Its easy.

 

Never listen to what is being 'said' in that aspect.

 

Look at the body, when it moves towards you it likes you. When it moves away from you it dislikes you. How would you know?

 

Well, if you really hated someone , would you love to stay in that persons area? Nope, you would go away from that person as far as possible, then again if you really like someone , you want to be with that person. thereforeeee

 

I raise a green flag.

 

I would definitly ask her out if i where you.

[Texas2004]

It is true that there is a fair amount of touching (e.g. touching shoulders) and she comes into my work area a lot.

[coollady1957]

it definitely sounds like she is interested with the ongoing teasing type flirting.

 

I do not have an experience with that to draw from. However, I have heard many stories from people that dated some one from work. It caused alot of tension and with the ones where things did not work out, it was difficult to work with that person back in the work environment.

 

Sounds like you both are attracted and interested in each other. I would just be a bit wary of dating a co worker. Up to you though,

[tylercdurden2004]

Mate teasing and joking around with someone is a compliment. It means she is comfortable enough with you and confident enough to put herself on a limb and potentially risk offending you and I would take that as a good sign. Whether she is interested in something more well you have to test that out and yeah look at the physical signs.

[Mun]

I flirt when I like someone, but I've also done it when I know someone likes me... so take a chance don't you invite her out for a drink/coffee/lunch and find out if she is really interested

[Texas2004]

We do go out to lunch frequently, and have done a few things outside of the office. However, it is hard for me to justify pursuing anything further because we work together. I think my goal is to continue a positive, close relationship so that down the road, when we are not working together, potentially something could happen.

[vesper]

A while back when I had a crush on a co-worker it was more relaxing to go out with him and others in a group. In the group we would always naturally gravitate towards each other.

 

I also was affraid to draw to much attention to us as I worked in a company with 50 people and I did not want it to seem like he was the only person that I was friendly with.

 

Eventually a 'business' trip came up where he had to drive three hours to deliver a design entry for a competition. As he was asked to go, he asked our manager if someone could come along with him for the long drive.

 

He asked him if I could go with him. Hello! Obvious crush. That is when I knew.

 

Nothing happened on the trip but a few days later he asked me to come over and help with a school project. He asked me to bring my bathing suit so we could also go swimming in his apartment pool since the weather was nice.

 

He made the move after swimming when we came back in and where both in his room.

 

At the office it became quickly awkward because we wanted to spend every minute together and everyone quickly noticed our 'affair'. The relationship was fun and intense and very romantic. He would write poems for me all of the time.

 

Both of us had to go back to school after the internship and the relationship did not last beyond that as we lived in different cities. I never spoke to him again because actually it was kind of a 'rebound' for me. I find that most workplace relationships are a reaction to something else and usually do not last while both people work at same place.

[tylercdurden2004]

Heres one of many arcticles I found that may shed some light. I had heard at one point that a significant amount of couple had met in the workplace. Here it says 17%. But then again its not a bad idea to follow the mantra of "dont sc**w the crew"

 

link removed

[Kevin T]

I remember this one girl I really liked a couple years ago, she was often nice to me, but also would sarcastically jest with me and take jabs at me. So I guess you could say she liked teasing me. I guess she knew it bugged me. At the time, I took it as a bad sign; almost disrespectful. Well, I'm not so sure what it was... but I do know that nothing came of our friendship and now we don't even speak (I still see her all the time though).

 

So IMO teasing isn't necessarily a good sign. I don't tease girls I like, but that's me.

[shyanne]

(because I think we both know it would be inappropriate to carry on a relationship at work).

i never worked with anyone that i had relations with but i was thinking that's a great way to meet a partner.. my sister and her husband has been working for the same company for years... they have the best relationship in the world.. i never met another couple as happy as them.. i envy her sometimes.

 

some women flirt just because they like you as a person or friend. ask her out one day for lunch and talk a bit more.. maybe flirt with her to let her know your interested. if she's not interested in you that way, she'll stop flirting once she realizes you take her seriously.

[Texas2004]

As I mentioned, it is a difficult situation. I think I have made my intentions reasonably well known, and rather than retreat, she continues to stay fairly "close" to me. However, because we work together, there is like an unspoken thing that we know it can't happen right now. One thing I notice as well is that she never asks me about why I am not dating, and has never suggested fixing me up with anyone.

[k2004myway]

I've known girls who use teasing to communicate interest and at the same time as a defense mechanism (to protect themselves from hurt by staying lighthearted). I've also known girls who use it as a defense mechanism when guys cross boundaries and they feel uncomfortable. I've also known girls who do both--as is my current relationship (lucky for me, she just tells me when I've crossed a line). I agree with the body language comment, though.