I don't know what to do?

[miracle29]

I have a female friend who is a really nice person, but some of her actions are starting to get under my skin.

For example:

 

She has a daugher is just over 18 months old and whenever we go out in public its really embarrassing, because her daugher will sometimes throw a fit. Now i'm not talking the typical todler fit and then the mother checks to see whats wrong and next thing you know everything is ok...OH NO..i'm talking screaming and kicking and even hitting her own mother.

 

Here people come to eat their dinner and her daughter will scream and cry and she wont even get up to take her to the bathroom. Nope...she just sits there holding her in her lap ...talking over it as if she doesnt even hear it. And her daughter will not stop the crying until about 45 minutes later. People will stare at us and give us the dirtiest look as if to say ..."come on...calm her down or do something about her".

 

Then we went to a game together and her daughter is screaming and hitting he and kicking and just doing this high pitch scream and I wanted to just leave. Everyone was turning around looking at the both of us. Its really humiliating.

 

Then she has this other issue.... she has no friends because she has something called OCD. She had this germ issue, which actually doesnt bother me but...heres the but....she screams at her kids if they touch a trash can. If we go out to eat she wont let her children sit in the high chair until it has been wiped down.

 

And when I'm rocking my baby to sleep, today she knows her daughter is screaming and throwing a fit, and she had the audacity to come up the bleachers and bring her daughter up there with me while my daugher is just getting to sleep and so it woke my baby up. My baby is only 3months old....she can't settle herself and so i had to rock her again. I was so livid. Its almost like she did it just to spite me. As if to say "if my child is up...your child wont sleep either." Finally I snapped and said....."I'm leaving" and i walked my baby into another area so I could calm her down and get her to sleep.

 

MORE DRAMA:

 

 

Sadly she told me today " I don't have any friends...because people think i'm strange" and I feel like "damn it...why did I have to meet this type of person and now i'm stuck " I have a very kind heart and i've been patient thus far...but this is starting to really upset me. I am at my wits end with her antics. Then she gets an attitude with me and folds her arms because she said "you're so pretty....it makes me sick". I'm like "you are pretty too...whats the problem".

 

I am a grown women and I just don't have time to play the 'you're prettier then me and so i'm going to pout game" with women...thats stuff I used to do in High School. Its childish and rediculous.

 

Her and her husband are always arguing, its so awkward. You know that a family should keep those things in private..but she and him just take it out on eveyone around them.

 

My husband said "How is it she has OCD yet she lets her children eat off a table." and "Whats with her staring you up and down and making comments like, Must be nice to be so pretty".

 

People...i'm so sick of it..I don't know what to do. I do know now why she has no friends. I'm too old for this...why do i keep attracting women with weird issues and drama? uuuuuh (pulling hair)

[Gilgamesh]

This Woman and her family seem to have issues that your just not responsible for, you want things to be smooth between both of you and expect her to change. She not going to do it anytime soon, and do your really believe you can change her? of course not!

 

Yes the baby screams and yells and throws a fit, unfortunately in that household thats the norm and is completely acceptable.

 

As for this "condition" this woman has, sometimes people will justify their actions with anything, this way they do not have to feel responsible for their actions.

 

I suggest you find a friend that is someone you wouldn't mind having around you and your child.

[miracle29]

GILGAMESH (hugs)

Dude...where have you been. I don't think i've seen you online in quite sometime...am I right..or have we just not crossed paths?

 

 

About your response..YOU ARE RIGHT and I don't really consider her to be my friend, its more like me trying to be her friend because she has no one else and I feel guilty...and my heart...I feel like I can help her. But this months antics alone has gotten me to where I have no choice but to distance myself. My own Husband thinks she has issues and told me "Baby i know what you're doing, but she is NOT your project..I know you want to help..but this is too far gone...its not your job to FIX her".

[Miss M]

Miracle, your story is a familiar one, and this one statement especially jumped out at me...

Sadly she told me today " I don't have any friends...because people think i'm strange" and I feel like "damn it...why did I have to meet this type of person and now i'm stuck "

So it seems she had a pity party... but she's actually a very skilled manipulator, and this comment from her is the way she manipulates you. She's knows exactly what she's doing, and saying this to you prompts you to feel sorry for her, to feel obligated to her, to feel guilty if you leave her. Don't fall for any of it. She's manipulative, petty, hostile, and toxic. And she willingly created her own horrible world, so you don't need to try to help her with that.

 

I have a very kind heart and i've been patient thus far

People who have a kind heart, and who are patient, those are the ones who get targeted by people like her. The fact that you're kind and patient is why she chose you, and it's what she's using against you, and is how she manipulates you.

 

its more like me trying to be her friend because she has no one else and I feel guilty...and my heart...I feel like I can help her.

And she latches onto you because you feel guilty, and because you earnestly want to help her. And I agree with your husband... pay attention to that tendency to want to FIX people, or the only "friends" you'll ever have are the ones who create "drama" in your life. And you'll be writing posts like this...

why do i keep attracting women with weird issues and drama? uuuuuh (pulling hair)

Just try to give yourself permission to say "no" when her type shows up again.

[Bethany]

Good mothers actually help their child into this behaviour by doing all the right things but this leads to tantrums and the screaming fits her child is having now.

Good mothers also try to immediately appease their child by giving them immediate attention to stop them 'suffering' dicomfort and to stop the crying from getting out of control. All mistakes I have learned after having one child who used to do the tantrum thing.

 

What all good mothers should do is allow their child a certain degree of discomfort, let them settle alone even if they are crying as this builds up independence in later life. They become more independent which is what every mother wants for their child.

 

When her child screams and throws a fit, she should be ignored. She will then understand that screaming and crying, hitting the floor in a melodramatic way gets them NOWHERE. But this should be backed up with lots of attention when they have done something good by lots of praise so they learn that good behaviour has rewards like lots of loving from their parent(s).

 

Life is not a bed of roses and if you teach your child this from as early a time as possible and I know this sounds bad but they SHOULD suffer a little as they will have less emotional reaction and suffer much less pain when they lose, they don't get what they want etc and they will have a more stable adult life as a result.

 

If you WANT to help this woman, this is all good advice and works! But if she is too much for you as you have a baby, distance your self and take care of your own baby without guilt. Do what's best for you.

[miracle29]

Bethany...That information would work if the mother did the reaction thing she needs to do...but she'll hold her daugher (so she can't walk or move) and just hold her there while she is screaming. And i'm sorry but in Public you should not ignore your child so that everyone else has to hear the high pitch screaming...as if to say "Screw them....its all about me and my child".

 

I have a newborn and when my child even begins crying, I rock her, change her or feed her, sing to her or whatever I have to do if we're at a public place so that people who came out to get away from all that noise...arent forced to hear my child screaming and throwing a fit.

 

If this was an every now and then thing..i would just blame it on toddler hood, but I know MANY todlers who don't act like this in public.

 

WHen she is home...even..she just ignores her...daugher when her daughter tries to be held and comes to her for attention...she'll just ignore her. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

I think a GOOD mother has respect for other people as well as her own home...she doesnt just think "everyone else has to suffer if I do".

 

She immeadiately comes to her childs aid, or atleast talks to her child and says.. "Mommy is going to put you down now" or something that lets the child know atleast she cares. Forcing a child to sit into your lap while she screams and cries is torture to me. I don't think its right.

 

 

I do however understand where you are coming from that children can't get their way all the time because this promotes spoiled and bad behavior in the future, but....she has taken this to another level

 

I have two neices and my sister laid down the law before they were ever 12months. They rarely threw fits and screamed in a public or private place. She only had to look at them and say "No mamm" and they both would cut it out.

 

I also know other couples children who don't act like this in public and would NEVER hit their own mother...EVER.

 

Obviously her method is not working, but she's too lazy to find one that does.

I will not tollerate this type of behavior from my little girl. She will know better then to hit me, or kick me and her father and scream and cry...and get rewarded by candy or anything like that.

 

She will know that I'M the mother and she is the CHILD. Period.

 

P.S. back in my day, if I would have dared to throw a fit like that in public..my mother would have taken my butt into the rest room and given me a good talking too if now more...it would not have been long before I would have been an angel all over again. I wonder if I am alone in my thoughts that some children need more then the time out method?

[RandomAdvisor]

You still need to answer the million dollar question miracle? Are you going to kick this "friend" to the curb or not?

[miracle29]

I am planning on it...but HOW. HOw can I just do that like that. I'm going to feel horrible....but as the other women said...she is manipulating me...saying I'm her only friend and she has no one else. She is playing on my heart strings.

 

Any suggestions on how to wean someone off of you...

[RandomAdvisor]

I think weaning is a bad analogy. This is more like breaking up. It's like jumping into a pool immediately instead of putting your foot in and getting scared at how cold the water is.

 

So just jump in.

 

If you aren't up for telling her point blank that you don't want to be friends anymore, then maybe you could write her a short letter saying as much. Dont' fall for her "oh, poor me" routine. Her happiness is her own responsibility, and if she knows she has a condition she should be getting help for it, not dragging the rest of the world down with her.

[miracle29]

Right on some_guy.

I am actually angry right now....because until Miss M pointed it out..i was not aware that I could be manipulated like this.

I am going to start the "don't call me...i'll call you" routine. Or just blame my husband for every time I have to tell her "nope...I am soooo busy" I'll call ya back. Eventually she'll get the hint.

 

I'm insulted that she thought she could get away with taking advantage of my kindness. People like this piss me off.

[RandomAdvisor]

Eventually she'll get the hint.

 

Don't be so sure. This might have the opposite effect. She might start showing up at your house unannounced or something...

 

I still think just getting it all out in the open and telling her the friendship is over is the best option. But then again, I don't have much experience with these things. What does everyone else think?

[KweenofDenyl]

I think this woman is Nuts (that would be the proper pc term, right?). Your husband nailed it when he told you she isn't your project.

 

Friendship should be mutually beneficial.

 

The next time she calls you tell her point blank that you can't be around her. You don't owe her an explanation for it and if you give her one she will counter it with "but I won't be like that" or something like that, so the best way is just to keep repeating that you can no longer be her friend or hang out with her. Manipulative types like this will try every trick in the book to get you into an argument about it.

 

P.S. It sounds to me like what she is doing to her child/children is neglect at best, abuse at worst. Can you call child protective services?

[miracle29]

She called my home twice and I ignored her...so her AND her husband found me and My husband (town is small) and she says..."So what are we doing tonight" and I said "I'm tired and I dont' feel like doing anything, we're going home after this and we don't plan to do anything". She then in return gives her husband this stank look and she says "Lets Jet...they want to stay home" with this little attitude.

 

I was like whatever, and she stared at me for like five seconds. Five seconds of staring is really a long time. Its like she stared at me to watch my facial expressions. I'm so irritated by her. She knows everyone in this town and she is so nosey...and she is such a gossip. Thing is..her family has pull in this town and I don't want her being malicious spreading lies or rumors about me and my husband seeing as how we're new in this town. I don't know what to do....but I know I need to give her the boot.

[melrich]

To be honest I am not sure where the whole "manipulative" slant is coming from.

 

What you seem to have described to me is someone who may need some help with her parenting skills, is lonely and is trying to reach out.

 

Now of course none of that is your responsibility. If you don't like her or spending time with her upsets you then you should extricate yourself somehow.

 

But let's not forget how difficult parenting can be. Toddlers can't help themselves and some are far more difficult than others. They do not mean to be bad. Ignoring a toddler when having a tantrum is recommended n just about every parenting book I have read, as is holding them tight when the tantrum escalates to ensure they do not hurt themselves. The other widely recommended action is to remove the toddler from the environment.

 

But if you have not been the subject of a toddler tantrum then you do not know how difficult it can be to restore calm. And this poor child sounds like she may be especially difficult.

 

When you have a difficult child of course you crave support and you wonder what you have done wrong to be so cursed. But it will pass. In my experience, toddlers usually spend about 12 months in the "tantrum" cycle.

 

We'd all love to be perfect parents and have beautifully behaved kids. Unfortunately it does not always work out like that.

 

I'd suggest you either give her some ideas on how she might help her child through this period or recommend she see a child behaviouralist if you do not feel confident with that.

 

But at the end of the day it is not your responsibility and you can rightfully simply end the friendship with her if you are not comfortable with it.

 

Just try and have some sympathy for this poor mother. She probably gets twice as bad at home than what you are seeing in public and I ams ure if she is like every other mother I've known in this situation she is at her wits end with how to handle the situation.

 

I remember about a year ago, my son Zac was having a whopper at the supermarket. I heard a woman walk past mutter something like, "why can't he control the brat"...I was trying, I really was but believe me, sometimes with best intentions you just make it worse. It does not mean you are a bad parent, you may just need to learn some alternative ways.

[RandomAdvisor]

The small town gossip/politics is something extra to consider. If you just start ignoring and avoiding her she might start going through the grapevine to find out why. On the other hand, if you tell her directly, maybe she would spread rumors in retaliation.

 

I think the easiest solution is to off her. You'd have to make it look like an accident of course, so as not to arouse suspician. You're in Alaska, right? I think I've got a good plan. Be warned though: it requires several dozen reindeer, a dog whistle, and three miles of electrical tape to pull off. And the electrical tape has to be neon pink. I'll want a commision for helping you with this of course, and you'd have to pay for the materials.... And if PETA comes looking for me, you've never heard of me before in your life.

 

PM me if you want the details.

[Miss M]

she says..."So what are we doing tonight"

She's also a bully. Did you notice how she said it in such a way that it was assumed you would spend time with her? Like she was entitled to your time? Like saying "no" wasn't an option for you? How dare you want to do something that doesn't include her? A considerate person who wasn't trying to manipulate you would have asked, "Would you like to get together tonight?" and then would have graciously accepted it when you begged off. Those who approach it like she did are bullies. And she's counting on you to feel horrible, and guilty. She's pushing your buttons.

 

and she stared at me for like five seconds. Five seconds of staring is really a long time. Its like she stared at me to watch my facial expressions.

It's very typical that predators will study their prey in that way. That's why you don't need to feel sorry for her, because she's very good at aggressively going after what she thinks she's needs. She's not a weakling, and not really pitiful. That's just an act. Also, she's seems to using her child like a weapon against you and your daughter.

 

One problem with people like that... if you've spent some time around them because you felt too guilty to get away from them, when you do start to assert yourself, the first thing they do is turn up their guilt-inducing button-pushing techniques. In other words, it gets worse before they finally give up. By being nice to her, you've just set yourself up for the difficult task of getting free of her while she tries to make you feel horrible for doing that. It's a good idea to decide beforehand to dispense with the guilt so you can take care of your own emotional needs.

[miracle29]

Melrich, usually I totally agree with you, but in this instance....this is more then just a toddler out of control. I believe that her antics are actually making things worse for her toddler. Her OCD...her yelling at her husband and arguing with him in public, the children see this.

 

I have seen MANY people's children throw a tantrum and I don't give them dirty looks or pass them by and make rude comments....

But an every day thing....when a baby just screams and cries and all the mother does is hold her and wont let her move around...how is that helping?

 

Melrich you are one of the people I most respect here on this site, so I don't question your motives or parenting skills at all...I know you and your wife are great parents...this women however...is different.

I think the manipulation point comes from the fact that when I dont' call her or i avoid her...her husband will call my husbands cell phone looking for me and say "wheres so and so...because my wife really needs to get in touch with her". "She's Susans only friend" . Then she'll make comments like "i have no friends, because we're so picky...but i see things for what they really are. She has no friends because she has issues and she actually keeps them going.

Its crazy.

 

But again...I have no doubt you do the best you can to raise good upstanding citizens. However..I'll have to go with Miss M on this one...this girl has some issues. and to top it off....the fact that when i'm talking to my husband...she stares at me. I can see it out the side of my eyes. She stares and it gives me the creeps. Other things she's done...which i know would make even the Pope angry are the following.

 

 

1. How much did you and your husband get back for your taxes.

 

2. "Why doesnt your husband give you the credit cards"

 

3. "Why is he at work still, whats going on with that".

 

4. If she sees me talking to another group of girls she'll stare at all of us and then when they walk away ...she'll make some snide remark...

"Its the quiet ones you need to watch out for..because they can't be trusted.."

 

5. "It seems to me like your husband doesnt even want to be married"

 

6. "is your husband trying to control you and keep you sheltered

 

I don't like nosey people like this.

 

 

Now do you see where i'm coming from a bit more?

[Bethany]

Kick her to the kerb.

[WildChild]

Hey miracle, just have been reading this post and wow, huh! Unfortunately, she has managed to make you feel obligated and it is no wonder she has no friends.

 

I went online to see if I could find something to help you end this toxic relationship (I won't even put friendship...she is far from being a friend to you!!). Here is one thing that I found. It's an exerpt from an article in Oprah's magazine, Living Smart. The article is based on a Cheryl Richardson's Absolute Integrity List. I will keep looking and posting, hopefully one of these will be something you feel comfortable in trying.

 

Here it is:

 

Tracey, promised herself in her "link removed " not to be a hypocrite and to remain honest in her relationships. But, until now, she has not had the backbone to end a toxic friendship.

 

Tracey and her friend met in college about 10 years ago. At first it was a very healthy relationship. They had a lot of mutual friends and had a good time together. "She was a really great friend."

 

"Over the last few years I've found that she's very needy, very jealous, and very opinionated. I feel she needs a lot of energy and handholding," Tracey explains.

 

Tracey couldn't set boundaries with her friend. "I feel like when I'm on the phone with her... and she's slamming my other friends, or complaining or nitpicking and I'm just sitting there being silent and not participating in the conversation or defending my friends, I feel like I'm out of integrity. And that needs to stop."

 

Her strategy was to let the relationship just fade away without confrontation. But then she decided, she was not living with integrity by living this lie and was being fair to herself and her friend.

 

"I've made the decision that this friendship needs to end and I need to do it with grace and love."

 

Steps Tracey Followed to Confront Her Toxic Friend

Cheryl's suggestions on how to end this friendship with love and grace.

 

1. Find a partner, someone that you can trust and respect. Tracy decided to use her neighbor Christy.

 

2. Sit down and write a script of exactly what you want to say.

 

3. Practice with your partner

 

Tracey followed these steps and link removed to confront her friend with grace and love.

 

Excerpt from Tracey's Phone Call to Her Toxic Friend

"Right now, I'm really nervous. I really don't want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time, it's something I feel like I really need to do, " says Tracey while dialing the phone.

 

"...I have something really important to tell you..."

 

"In an effort to honor my integrity in our relationship, I need to tell you the truth. I feel like our friendship has kind of reached a cross roads, and we've grown in two different directions. And instead of not calling you or avoiding our phone calls or ignoring your emails and stuff, I just wanted to tell you directly that I feel like our friendship needs to come to an end."

 

"What this means, is basically, you know I wish you the best and I want to remember all the good times and pretty much this is it."

 

"Okay? Alright, well. Thank you. Bye"

 

"I actually feel relief. It actually feels really good in a very odd way. I think that this is a huge step forward. I just think that I have so much room in my life now for healthy relationships."

[WildChild]

OK, here's another article from link removed. Although it's based on male friendships, the tips and concept to end this fits for anybody in a situation like yours.

 

Here it is:

 

Stage 1 - Cut back

Don't make yourself too available, emotionally or otherwise. This means you stop treating when you go out, quit doing him favors, cease answering all his calls, and discontinue lending your ear. Take whatever action you feel is necessary to suggest that you're fed up. He may immediately sense something is wrong and try to fix it. Then again, he may not...

Stage 2 - Tell him politely

Explain that you're tired of giving him chances and that things need to change (i.e. give him a warning). Tell him, as nicely as you can, that your needs are just as important and it's time you started getting a little respect.

Once you confront him head-on, he'll make a concerted effort to change -- if he really values the friendship -- and you should get back to being bros instead of foes in no time. If not, it's time for drastic measures.

Stage 3 - Call it quits

It's time to tell him that you're tired of being treated unfairly and that you need time apart. Be prepared to go a few months (at least) without any contact. He may or may not call, but it will put the friendship to the ultimate test. Oftentimes, time apart will help him realize the errors of his ways.

But bear in mind that there are consequences that come with cutting him off: if you're the only one who's had a problem with this person, the other members of your otherwise cohesive click may wind up shutting you out. People may take sides (but at least you'll know who's willing to stand by you) so make sure ending the friendship is your last resort.

make a smart decision

 

It's normal to want to protect your friendship and be loyal to it, but friendships should not be disruptive to your lifestyle, and if a certain pal is exploiting your kindness or disregarding it altogether, you need to start thinking with your head and not your heart.

 

Evaluate the value and depth of your relationship with this guy. As one of your closest friends, you owe it to yourself to try and salvage the relationship by all means. But sometimes walking away may be the only way of doing everyone a favor.

[Miss M]

Miracle, the reason I know her type is because all my life they've often targeted me. And yes, I've had to deal with them, and learn how to get rid of them. I had to give myself permission to say "no" and to learn to ignore their "poor me" stories. And when they got angry when I rejected them, I had to deal with the fact that they would try to instill false guilt in me, and also the fact that they went around spreading rumors about me. You have to get to the point where you don't care what they say, nor what others think of you. Your true friends won't believe the rumors. And eventually those that believe them will also see the light. In the meantime, you have to not care about any of that.

 

I have that appearance and countenance of a person who is kind, feels obligated, likes to help others. And many of my friends ended up being the type who latch on, were inconsiderate, jealous, resentful, making snide remarks, demanding, insensitive. If you're a genuinely kind person, why do you deserve that kind of mistreatment? You deserve the same kindness you offer to others. Some of us attract the type who exploit our kindness and they use our sense of fairness and obligation against us. While you're bending over backwards to be helpful, they bend over FORWARD to demand even more from you.

 

You wrote that it was a repeating pattern in your life. And the only way to be free of it is to give yourself permission to say "no" unapologetically, to make your own emotional needs a higher priority than people like her. You have to face that feeling of guilt inside of you, and deal with that instead of the people who exploit it.

 

I'm much better than I used to be... my countenance is slightly different and I've learned some ways to silently communicate my rejection of other people without a lot of drama. I've learned to recognize the clues earlier, and I've managed to bypass some of those types of people. But I still do attract them like flies, both men and women, so I still get challenged by them (and my own guilt) all the time.

 

Miracle, you're a kind and generous woman, a good friend, a loving mother and wife. And you certainly deserve some of the same good treatment you freely offer to others. It's fine to be so generous and caring to others, but just remember to put yourself also at the top of your list. Make yourself a priority, because you do have to nurture yourself along with everybody else.

[melrich]

Hi Miracle,

 

I certainly wasn't questioning your judgement on this friendship.....just what seems to me to be respondents quantum leap to the view that this woman is a cold, manipulating and evil woman. She may well be but that's not what I get from the information you posted.

 

I agree with you, she probably needs help with her parenting. I agree with you that she is probably socially quite inept and it sounds like she has a lot of personal issues. I also agree that if this is not something you want to be involved with then you should find a way to extricate yourself from the relationship.

 

But I don't think you should make the mistake of demonising this woman.

 

Her OCD...her yelling at her husband and arguing with him in public, the children see this.

 

If she has OCD then she has an illness. Her actions may well be beyond her ability to control and cope with at the moment. To me she sounds like she needs help, not to be made a social outcast. Again that is definitely not your responsibility but the vast majority of people are not evil or even consciously manipulative. She's a woman with problems, not a psychotic and I think you should deal with your relationship with her on that level, not on the basis that she is deliberately malicious and evil.

 

Cheers

[Miss M]

Thing is..her family has pull in this town and I don't want her being malicious spreading lies or rumors about me and my husband seeing as how we're new in this town. I don't know what to do....but I know I need to give her the boot.

Later I thought of something else... Since you're new in town, you just might not be judged badly for giving her the boot. Many others might already be weary of her, and are possibly wondering when you'll also get smart and get tired of her. It's possible that she latched onto you precisely because you're new, and because you didn't know her history. Maybe she quickly latches onto ANY newcomers? And maybe there are others who will actually be sympathetic to you because they've already gone through what you're going through? One clue is her statement that she has no friends. They've likely gotten smart... or tired... and THAT's really why she has no friends. And if she has no friends, then to whom will she tell the lies and rumors? And by getting rid of her you'll just be joining with the others who've already gotten themselves free of her.

 

Also, in regard to OCD, Gilgamesh made a very good point...

As for this "condition" this woman has, sometimes people will justify their actions with anything, this way they do not have to feel responsible for their actions.

For many years I've been in group therapy for mental illness, with people with various illnesses, levels of difficulties and challenges... and we're not ever allowed to use our illness as an excuse to mistreat others in the way she's doing. Don't fall for that kind of thing where she pities herself, using her illness as an excuse to bully you, or pull on you. No matter what's her illness, rude behavior is not acceptable.

[miracle29]

Thank you for all of your replies.

 

Melrich, I think you are right, i don't want to demonise her..

 

Miss M you are also right, she knows how to manipulate. But that may not mean that she's evil. HOwevr my paranoia when dealing with people like this is well warranted.

 

And if never fails, no matter how pretty the other women is, she always has to make it an issue because SHE thinks I'm prettier then her. I am so sick of women who can't be real friends to me because of their own insecurities. I think its petty.

 

I don't choose my friends by looks, i choose them by their intergrity and morals and positivity. I could care less if they looked like Halle Berry or not. Maybe i'm in the minority.

[Miss M]

Just for the record, I never described her as "evil" and if anyone can find that word in my posts (whether actual or implied) I'd like them to point it out. I used these words (or some form of them) to describe her, and I still stand by them...

 

manipulative

petty

hostile

toxic

bullying

predator

self-pitying