Afraid to reject...

[Budman]

Hey Budman, yes, we can respectfully agree to disagree. And I do know there are other points of view besides mine, and I accept that. And you're right... ultimately, your opinion here is just as valid as mine.

 

And neither do I see "gold" in everything, and nor do I give only "positive feedback"... just depends. I just happen to disagree with your take on what's going on here and felt it appropriate to speak up about that. But yeah, it's all good.

 

Group hug?

 

I want a dang hug...

 

people don't hug me enough... lol

 

 

[soaking_wet]

I agree wid both Budman and Miss M...Budman you're rite..the guy could have been shy and i cud have took away his confidence and i should have just talked to him about it and told him straight up but i didn't and i feel bad about that...he still sees me at work and i still see him looking at me all the time so i don't think that me ignoring him and all changed his feelings about me...if i were in his place i wud have thought i were a total b****! and moved on! but he apparently still likes me...and Miss M...thanks for sticking up for me ...i wana be part of the "group hug" too! lol

[Miss M]

Awww shucks... now you nice folks are gonna make me cry happy tears... geez.

 

And ain't it nice when we can still come to an agreement, even when we don't agree?... sweet! =D>

 

Okay, okay, (hehe, I'm such a softie) group hug for everybody!

 

 

he still sees me at work and i still see him looking at me all the time so i don't think that me ignoring him and all changed his feelings about me...if i were in his place i wud have thought i were a total b****!

Hey SW, so how brave are you feeling? Maybe you could still go to him and explain your previous behavior, and even offer him an apology, tell him you didn't intend to hurt him but it was the best you could do at the time. That would help to resolve any lingering confusion, tie up loose ends, and you'd probably feel less like a B----. Of course, it also might cause him to fall even more for you. But anyhow, but that's a possible solution to resolve it in a way that lets him know he didn't do anything wrong.

[CluelessGuy321]

Hi. Want to go out sometime? <:>

[Spugly Fuglet]

Its good to have mates but you should make you own mind up if you find a guy they dont like then your going to have to make a stand for him.

 

Sorry but its true

[soaking_wet]

lol CluelessGuy321...i'm 100 and 99% single

[Budman]

Where abouts do you live in canada. I got a lot of friends up there.

 

 

 

We can change that.

 

A group hug is for everyone !

 

(just get your hands off me bum! )

 

Wait no I said youuu can put them there, (yes you)

 

There we go!

 

Honestly, its up to you soaking wet what you'd like to do. I'd say whats done is done, its water under the bridge over the bridge, the bridge is burnt whatever. there's no point in going back to it, until it is brought back up. I mean I see how you want to do that, and it is perfectly fine to do that, but if you do want to do that, I wouldn't wait too long on bringing it back up.

 

That's just my thoughts on it.

 

My idears so to speak.

[soaking_wet]

lol i agree, what's done is done. The guy is desperate though...i think he deserved what i did to him cuz when i was out of town my friends had a little party and he went and made out with a gurl he barely knew...oh and did i mention she had a boyfriend? and he knew that too! and after that he still stares at me 24/7!...i live in Edmonton, Alberta...this town is so empty/lonely but i guess it's home haha most people on this site are from the states...u lucky b*****! lol ...i'm a proud canadian ...just not in this city ...wow you're 21, that's hot!

[Miss M]

The guy is desperate though...i think he deserved what i did to him cuz when i was out of town my friends had a little party and he went and made out with a gurl he barely knew...oh and did i mention she had a boyfriend? and he knew that too! and after that he still stares at me 24/7!

Oh wow, and here we were feeling sorry for this guy? Horny desperate guys who stare like idiots are sooo tedious. yuck. Yeah SW, you might as well get comfortable rejecting the guys because you're going to probably be doing it a LOT. And hey, I'm STILL doing it, and it's STILL not fun. [Grrr!] There are even some guys who will specifically target women who are afraid to reject them (yes, they can tell) and then they try to exploit that by acting hurt by your rejection. I say make it easy on yourself and lose the guilt and sense of obligation. It's really okay to honor yourself, to say "no," to allow yourself to make your own choices in this world. And even though you're still young, life is much too short for you to be hanging out with guys you don't even like just because you feel obligated. Good luck!

 

And Budman, wow, we're homies!

[Budman]

Homies in da hizzouse!!!

 

hehe, yup. Apparently lots of people from STL on here.

 

Ok, ya that guy lost my respect. Feel free to kick him a few times for me.

 

(makes it bad for the guys who really do get hurt by it).

 

I mean I'm horny, all the time but I don't let myself get lead by it. by it you know what I'm talking about.

 

 

I am so taking many trips this summer, so far I'm going to at least chicago, and at least AR. Now, do I need a passport to goto canada? Lol, damn I gotta find that out.

[Miss M]

Homies in da hizzouse!!!

Ah, now your nick makes even more sense. Nothing like the local brew, eh?

(Oh, but I don't even drink that much beer. It's just nice that when I do, I can have the bestest of the freshest. hehe.)

 

Ok, ya that guy lost my respect. Feel free to kick him a few times for me.

 

(makes it bad for the guys who really do get hurt by it).

But if you look closely at SW's posts in this thread, girls like her (and me ) don't cruelly shoot down shy guys. In her posts you can see she felt bad for the guy, and she felt obligated to him, even though she didn't even want him. Unkind and insensitive women don't typically start threads about being "afraid to reject." And neither do the insensitive and cold-hearted women feel obligated to date guys they don't like. Girls like us aren't really a danger to a shy guy's ego. We really do feel for the guy and try to be sensitive to his needs. That's why I gave you grief for being hard on SW, because I do recognize the type of woman who puts up with a lot of crap because she hates to hurt a guy's feelings. Sometimes we get so caught up in taking care of the guy's feelings that we forget to take care of our own, and that's why I had written those encouraging words to SW, to invite her to honor her own needs. It's really not a good thing to take such good care of others that we neglect ourselves. And overall, it's better for the GENUINELY good guys if the thoughtful women spend less time giving attention to the losers, (even the "shy" losers).

 

So, Budman, let us know if you make it to Canada this summer, eh?

[Budman]

Will do, (I don't drink bud either, I only smoke occasionally (I quit smoking tobacco though YAY!).

 

Anyway, I know that she's sensative to the guys needs, and in some way everyone tends to forget their own feelings. I mean heck, I've recently learned that one of the reasons I feel weird about asking a girl out is because I may be inconveniencing them. (which is messed up I know), Honestly, I may have come off wrong but I imagined myself in that guys place. *a few years ago* After getting up the courage to ask, or do anything (via coworkers), and having that happen prolly would have crushed my ego, and I quite possibly would have called into work the next day... *now* I really don't know what I would do for sure, because I don't think I would fail Failure is not an option, muahahhaah.

 

Also, we didn't have the knowledge we do now, you see at the time all we knew was he could have been a shy guy, and that he had to have coworkers get him to ask.

 

hindsight is 20/20, but I do concede on this particular one.

 

And to sound humorous

 

Sw, A/s/l

 

Got a pic?

 

Any places you recommend in canada? (If I can get up the money to go that is)

[soaking_wet]

lol i'm 18, female (obviously), from edmonton, alberta canada...i might have a pic but later on ...lol i recommend toronto!!!!!!!!!! i wanna go there so bad but i just turned 18 at the beginning of the year and i'm kinda broke!!! lol

[CluelessGuy321]

lol CluelessGuy321...i'm 100 and 99% single

 

If you lived in California, I would so take you out. Even if we didn't connect, I'd like to meet more women - even if it's just as friends.

[Budman]

If you lived in California, I would so take you out. Even if we didn't connect, I'd like to meet more women - even if it's just as friends.

 

 

Me too!

 

speaking of Miss M. When you wanna meet

[soaking_wet]

If you lived in California, I would so take you out. Even if we didn't connect, I'd like to meet more women - even if it's just as friends.

 

lol you know, i meet a million boys everyday ...only cuz they like the way i look (obviously) but the guys on this site are the sweetest ...You don't know how i look or anything and yet u still wanna take me out, beautiful! lol

[Miss M]

lol you know, i meet a million boys everyday ...only cuz they like the way i look (obviously) but the guys on this site are the sweetest ...You don't know how i look or anything and yet u still wanna take me out, beautiful! lol

Hey SW, I think the guys here DO know you're seriously good-looking, (so maybe they're not quite THAT "sweet" ) You might not realize it, but you've given them a couple of solid clues that you're attractive. And how do they know? Well, you've been on dates with guys you don't even like, and have trouble saying no. It's easy to conclude just from that that you're a desirable woman because other guys are asking you out, making you feel pressured/obligated. That's the everyday existence of an attractive woman, being asked out by a lot of guys you don't like. And that's why I said get comfortable saying "no," because unless you're going to suddenly get ugly, you're going to have to say "no" a lot during your lifetime. The other big clue is that co-worker who's been staring at you non-stop for several weeks now. Maybe he's a big dummy, but there's some reason his eyes are stuck like super-glue. So maybe these guys here haven't seen you, but yeah, there are obvious clues...

 

And Budman, if you're serious, we'll PM and set up a meeting.

[soaking_wet]

you have a point there Miss M...i'm stupid not to see it haha

[Miss M]

you have a point there Miss M...i'm stupid not to see it haha

Aw honey, not "stupid," ... you're just learning about life, just as we all have to do. And hey, no fair referring to yourself with such disparaging words. Self-respect and self-worth is a very important part of finding your own internal ability to say "no" when it's appropriate. And that means regarding yourself as inherently valuable, NOT as inherently "stupid." Again, give yourself a break, be kind to yourself, and you'll get it all sorted out eventually.

[Budman]

Actually Miss M. For real you read me way to deeply.

 

She seems like a sweet girl, and she deserves a good time.

 

I could care less how she looked I could still go on at least one date with her.

 

The point of a date is to have fun, enjoy yourself, and learn about someone else.

 

A date means nothing

[Miss M]

Okay, Budman, I didn't really intend to specifically (mis)interpret your intentions, and neither did I intend to point my comments specifically at you ... my apologies.

 

But on the other hand... I still think my comments to SW were warranted because it's a good idea for her to realize she's definitely giving out clues that are easily read.

 

So, speaking in just GENERAL terms, if a woman comes to this board and writes what SW wrote, yeah, she's definitely indicating that she's attractive, because she has indicated that other guys have already found her so desirable. And I would suggest to her that guys here aren't necessarily "sweet" just because they want to meet her sight-unseen, (although that's also certainly still a possibility ).

[CluelessGuy321]

I'm not THAT hung up on looks.

 

Sure, a hot busty blonde would turn my head, but if she's a total jerk or a complete dits, it wouldn't hold my attention.

 

All I really ask is that a person just takes care of themselves. Most girls who work out regularly look good.

[soaking_wet]

I'm not THAT hung up on looks.

 

Sure, a hot busty blonde would turn my head, but if she's a total jerk or a complete dits, it wouldn't hold my attention.

 

All I really ask is that a person just takes care of themselves. Most girls who work out regularly look good.

 

lol i'm no "hot busty blonde"..that's for sure! and i don't work out regularily although i should haha ...i'm far from blonde though and surprisingly enough, still get attention

[Budman]

are you a redhead?

 

Better not be, redheads..

 

mmmm.

 

I keed I keed

[Miss M]

LOL

Hey SW, since this thread was originally about your inability to say "no", hey, you could just practice saying "no" to these guys right now!

 

haha.

 

okay, j/k.

 

This is actually very funny to watch.

 

 

And oh, I'm very flat-chested, but interestingly the guys who were into the VERY BIG BREASTS would also pursue me. I just think that sometimes those "things" that guys find appealing are like a constantly moving target, always changing.