Should I bother telling my b/f about the guys that hit on me?

[miniblinded2]

I consider myself pretty average looking, but most people beg to differ, especially my boyfriend who thinks I'm absolutely gorgeous. I'm not a flirt, but I seem to get hit on all the time. Most of the time, it's just silly stuff, but I occasionally have guys make complete idiots of themselves and the stories are so funny that when I share them with co-workers and friends, they laugh their heads off.

 

I'm tempted to tell my boyfriend about the really hilarious instances of guys pulling pathetic stunts to win my affection, but I'm in a long-distance relationship with a much older man (I'm 30, he's 47). I'm afraid he'll feel worried, jealous and hurt if he learns that other guys are trying to pick up his "gorgeous" younger woman while he's stuck abroad.

 

He often makes jokes about how I must have guys jumping all over me all the time, but says this with an obvious tinge of worry and insecurity. I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I don't volunteer any info about "the competition". I know I'd probably feel uncomfortable knowing that all these young women were hitting on him all the time, I'd wonder if he was tempted, if they were prettier than me … all kinds of worries.

 

Should I bother telling him my funny stories or keep my mouth shut? Our relationship is very strong, we love each other very much and have a great deal of trust and respect for one another. Obviously I'm not interested in any of these guys but I can't help but laugh and be flattered when I walked out of the grocery store and found my car covered in flowers with a love note from a stranger saying he finds me gorgeous, hopes his gesture isn't too creepy and leave his phone number and email. It kind of goes in the category of "You'll never guess what the heck happened to me today!" My mom has always told me to never talk to your man about other men, hence mom's the word. So what's the verdict? To tell or not to tell?

[shyanne]

that would depend on how jealous he is, i guess.. you know that your not interested in these guys so why not laugh at it with him too.. he may like the fact that you don't try to hide things on him that way.. he may even trust you more. only you know him well enough to decide if he could handle such information.. i know my husband could, that stuff never bothered him cause he knows what i'm like.

[friscodj]

I would tell him. I wouldn't brag about it or anything, but let him know in an informational way. You could laugh about it too...

 

Why? It might make you seem more attractive to him and keep him "on his toes" as far as not taking you for granted...

 

But if he starts getting agitate from hearing about it, I'd stop...

[traz]

I think it depends on how the topic comes up...the incident you mentioned with the flowers seems over the top enough that it could just be a funny experience. But normal cases of guys hitting on you could make him very insecure..i know i would be

[DN]

Since he already appears to be a little insecure what would be the purpose of telling him? Surely it would only make a tinge of insecurity much worse? It could also make you appear as if you are deliberately trying to make him jealous (or are simply boasting to gratify your own ego).

 

By the way - if you are talking to friends and co-workers about these incidents quite a lot, be careful that you don't appear a little boastful or egotistical to them despite their laughter.

[Bethany]

I agree with DN.

Although I wouldn't lie if he asked me about other men, I wouldn't bring them up deliberately. How would you feel if he started doing the same to you, despite the fact he loved and cared for you? You would probably think he's doing it to hurt your feelings for no apparent reason or to boost his own ego at your expense, wouldn't you? I know I would.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Here's a tip..DONT tell your boyfriend aobut other guys hitting on you, unless the story is TOTALLY *Hilarious* . I urrmm get hit on a fair bit, propositioned several times in the course of my 6 month relationship with my boyfriend..I told him about them in the beginning, and he .. wasnt mad, and not really **upset**...but it doesnt make him feel good and I dont actually *need* to tell him, Im not going to get with any other person...so now I just dont say. He doesnt ask me about it.

[iceberg21]

I think it depends on the type of person that he is. For me, I'd LOVE to know that my g/f is the object of desire for many men, but knowing that she's faithful enough to blow them off and stick around. But withoout knowing what type of person he is, its tough to give advice. The concensus here seems to be not to say anything, and that might be best.

[friscodj]

For me, I'd LOVE to know that my g/f is the object of desire for many men, but knowing that she's faithful enough to blow them off and stick around.

 

I second this! Well spoken...

[justpaisley]

See, I think it's just plain funny - if skanky - when other women hit on my husband - especially when he is sitting right next to me. (Hello? Why would you ask a man to dance with you when he's sitting with his wife?? Yeah, the woman with her bejeweled left hand on his knee? Can I buy you another beer?)

 

However, some people don't take things like that as lightly as I do, and I can understand, especially if the person doing the hitting knows that you're in a relationship. At that point, it's simply disrespectful to you and to your boyfriend. I think that if my husband were to come home every day and tell me about the women that hit on him, I'd start to feel a little annoyed, as if he were playing games with me (such as, look how much I'm desired, you'd better hold on to me). But, it's just every once in a while. You're going to have to feel this one out and see if it's something your boyfriend can handle, and if not, back away, unless it's totally outrageous.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I agree with DN. What purpose would telling him serve. I think the reason you're contemplating it is because while part of you wants to share that stuff with him, part of you feels something not quite right about it.

 

Maybe you could wait until he's back, you're together and he feels more safe and secure with the solidness of the relationship. I'm sure, as the other guys here have said, there's a part of him that would feel pride. And, its just feels good to be able to share your day and experiences with the one you love.

 

In my opinion, telling him while he's so far away, could cause him undue stress and worry about what's going on while he's not there.